I use tarot and oracle cards as tools for reflection and contemplation. Rather than divining the future, they are a way for me to look more deeply at the "now."
"The goal isn't to arrive, but to meander, to saunter, to make your life a holy wandering." ~ Rami Shapiro

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Depression and Anger

This week I'll be using the Victorian Romantic Tarot, created by Alex Ukolov and Karen Mahony with Magic Realist Press as publisher. I will also be drawing from Dreaming in Color: the Luman Deck, created and self-published by Mindy Hope Sommers. Today's draws are the Four of Cups and Anger:
          This Four of Cups card pegs me perfectly today with my feeling of an emotional hangover. Yesterday started off well, but then crashed and burned by noon. I'm sure everyone has had those kind of days. In my case, things that were supposed to be simple got complicated, someone used me as their vomit bucket, and then my heart got twisted and hurt from a situation over which I am powerless. I don't know why I think the day should've floated perfectly along just because it was my birthday; life doesn't really care about those kind of things. But look what lurks underneath that tired, depressed feeling - the deep, red of anger. It reminds me of the dark color of blood without oxygen in it (no clarity). Part of my emotional imbalance is that the doctor gave me a injection of steroids and put me on a dose pack of pills for six days for the poison ivy reaction. For someone who rarely takes medicine, it has given me a wallop. I'm beginning to understand why people use the term 'roid' rage; I feel prickly and have a blinding headache all the time. I had a dharma note in my email this morning that was a quote by Ram Dass; it basically said that there is grace to be found in suffering, and suffering can create wisdom. I know whining won't help me find either of these, but realizing reality isn't intentionally picking on me can help. I can also choose to start my celebration over - a new day without any expectations to weigh it down.

16 comments:

  1. Hands up. I call for a do-over. and it sounds like there are some maggots you need to flick off your sleeve.

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    1. I am totally up for a do-over! :D

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    2. I prescribe a self pampering trip hairdo, manicure, facial or coffee, cake and a good book in your favourite coffee shop....Whatever makes you feel good. Do it!

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    3. Right now a walk, nap and a novel all sound good!:)

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  2. I call for a do-over too!! Who do they think they are! You deserve to have a "Bev Day" my dear
    Hugs

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    1. A little assertiveness might be a good thing! :)

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  3. I too think a do-over is called and the suggestion for a day of self pampering is just what the doctor called for especially to offset the reaction to steroids. 'here's to you-salute!'

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    1. Definitely need to offset the steroids with something relaxing!:)

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  4. Oh dear. Sounds like a bad day and that it coincided with your birthday probably amplifies the bad feelings. You get to start again though, over and over lol. I suppose that could be seen as either a grace or punishment depending on mood and lens. At any rate I'm sending you 'Day After Your Birthday' wishes and blessings and hope you feel better on all levels. A little chocolate never hurt either ;) xo

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    1. It was, as you said, simply a bad day. Had it not coincided when it did with my cocktail of steroids, I would have ignored most of it. But I am enjoying my do-over today! :D

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  5. I have a few choice words to describe those that inconsiderately dump their vomit on others... I won't use them here because (keep you blog clean.) ;) I agree with everyone... Have a do-over, hun. You need it AND deserve it. (((hugs))) xo

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    1. There will always be self-absorbed folks who don't think about how their actions may affect others, but I am learning to check the caller ID first! :D

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  6. When you place expectations in anything or anyone (a day or a friend) you open the door to disappointment. I had a similar experience last week when a girl's night out turned into a moanathon. Perhaps this is why someone created the concept of the un-birthday! Hope you have a good one, and that the steroids wear off soon :)

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    1. The 'moan-a-thon' - :D - I do believe I've been to one of those a time or two! The unbirthday was a huge success, mostly because I just let the day unfold and did whatever I felt like doing for the most part (without expectations!).

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  7. I like the un-birthday concept! Well, it's a bit like holiday get-togethers, best avoided. Maybe next year you can say that you're taking a year off from celebrating your birthday and then turn it into decades of un-birthdays?

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    1. The unbirhday idea is grand. Either that or have a federal holiday so everyone can celebrate on the same day. Christmas could be used. :)

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