A Splash of Cold Water

This week I'll be using the Spirit Within Tarot, created by Steven Bright and published by Schiffer. I'll also be drawing from the Answer Deck, created by Nicky Zann and published by Running Press. Today's draws are Death and Frustration:

          Bright uses the Angel of Death rather than the Grim Reaper to illustrate Death. He writes: "Endings are natural." Indeed they are. When I am in emotional or physical torment, this angel can't come soon enough. But if I'm enjoying myself and partaking in the pleasures of life, I won't welcome her arrival. Endings tend to clearly show my attachments - how I see things or people as unchanging with the ability to give me everlasting happiness. It's the feeling that I'm attached to, and what ultimately makes me unhappy. As the Answer Deck shows, anger and frustration (in proportion to my attachment) are the result. Trying to shut off my emotions so that I don't feel anything won't work. However Thubten Chodron has a visualization technique that helps not only my mind understand the suffering caused by attachment, but my heart as well. She suggests to imagine getting what I crave (along with the feelings of pleasure), then ask "Now what?" Like seeing a sticky, dirty bowl that was once filled with ice cream, it can have the affect of throwing cold water on the attachment.

Action Within the Wheel

From the Daniloff Tarot, the Wheel; from the Kuan Yin Sticks, Verse 55:

          This young lass stands on a water dragon, a symbol of power and good luck. The masks attached to the Wheel suggest human reactions to life in the sun or under a dark cloud.  The elements and the astrological signs emphasize that nothing gets a pass from a ride on this Wheel; it spins for all. As the book of Ecclesiastes puts it: “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” My job is to figure out which part of each revolution is simply the natural process of living, and what part has been influenced by my actions. The first I must accept, but the second I have the power to change. Verse 55 from the Kuan Yin poem reads:

A long row of bamboo stalks

joined together

reaches to a bubbling stream.

Generation after generation can draw on the water.

My efforts and actions extend beyond my lifetime. Every year paperwhite flowers, planted by someone decades before we moved here, bloom in my yard. If I wanted to grow organic produce, the ground would have to lie fallow for a minimum of three years to allow all chemicals (pesticides and fertilizers) to be removed from the soil. What I do affects others, not just today, but in generations to come.

But Here, Now...

From the Daniloff Tarot, the Nine of Cups; from the Kuan Yin Sticks, Verse 72:

          I love the look on this man's face of contented happiness. Perhaps it is the cornucopia over his head, but this feels more like gratitude than self-centered smugness. I just commented on Ellen's blog that I when things are good, I have to constantly say to myself, "But here, now..." I think some of us who have experienced chaotic childhoods or trauma as adults have a hard time enjoying 'what is' without waiting for the other shoe to drop. When I focus on such worries, I've missed out on two good things: the joy of the moment and the gratitude that follows. The Kuan Yin verse speaks directly to this:

Whoever hunts bees

for their honey,

Will feel their sting

from time to time.

Gain and loss, joy and sorrow go hand in hand. Yes, the good times won't always be great, but the reverse is also true. Tough times won't last forever either. My practice is to learn how to embrace it all without attachment or aversion.

Changing the Channel

From the Daniloff Tarot, the Seven of Wands; from the Kuan Yin Sticks, Verse 38:

          Uh oh, this fellow appears to have lost his fierce-looking lion mask, and now he is being attacked by those below him. They see him simply as the man he is, not a fierce beast. Meanwhile, Kuan Yin beckons from the other side with this message:

The moon debuts in the evening sky, 

Yet passing clouds obscure it from view. 

Take heart, for when the clouds retreat, 

A glimmer of hope will trickle through. 

Both my daughter and I recently received notices from our health insurance provider (Blue Cross/Blue Shield) informing us that they are no longer offering policies for individuals in our county or the surrounding counties. In fact no insurance provider does. So because we must have insurance by law or pay a penalty, we have to use the ACA's marketplace to find policies for both of us. I've used the ACA before because of the insanely high premiums in our area, but my daughter has not. Her identity has to be 'verified,' which has caused all kinds of problems (even though we've sent three official types of identification). Like the man without his mask, my composure is beginning to crack with the stress. I'm hoping for a glimmer of hope in the form of a 'verified' email soon. I did receive something from Dr. Rick Hanson, however, about changing the channel of your mind when things go sideways and our daily practices don't help. It was manna from heaven.

The Feminine Way

From the Daniloff Tarot, the Empress; from the Kuan Yin Sticks, Verse 7:

Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit. — Henry Adams

          The creative chaos and emotional transparency of the Empress is a counterpart to the rigid structure and logic of the Emperor. She understands nothing original will be built in the kingdom without the passion and disorder that often begins the process. She's not worried, because she knows something good will come out of it. Verse 7 from the Kuan Yin poem reads:

The river is raging and full of mud.

If you venture beyond, you will become uprooted.

Hold back instead of pushing ahead.

Stay where you are rather than seek unrealistic goals.

It is an inflexible and stubborn personality that wants to charge ahead rather than pause and be receptive. It reminds me of the Buddhist analogy about a river's strong current. Sometimes it is better to stand still rather than get pushed back in our attempt to move forward. When the force of the current lessens, we can continue to our progress. 

Keep Your Head Attached

From the Daniloff Tarot, the Knight of Swords; from the Kuan Yin Sticks, Verse 39:

          This Knight of Swords has a shield that says much about his nature. The falcon's beak and talons are like the words and knowledge he uses to slice his opponents in an argument. The naked couple implies that he reveres openness and honesty in his relationships. The upraised sword suggests his sharp mind and quest for justice. Yet those wings on either side of his helmet seem incredibly large and over-sized. The wind could lift him right off his feet, which would leave him ungrounded. And that is perhaps one of the flaws of this knight - he's intelligent but not very practical. The 38th quatrain from the Kuan Yin poem reads:

News reaches you from afar, 

Yet the information is dubious and unclear.

No one can polish a rock into a mirror;

Be wise and don't waste your time.

This verse suggests that I can waste much time trying to figure out information that is worthless to begin with. It's like reading Trump's Twitter feed; it might make me anxious or angry, but that isn't going to help me get on with my day. Sometimes it's enough to know what I need to do and then do it, without over-thinking everything.

From Two Roots

From the Daniloff Tarot, Justice; from the Kuan Yin Sticks,Verse 71:

Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

          To be just is to be without bias, guided by fairness and reason. But for most humans, it can be hard not to be swayed. Our brain immediately looks inside its mental file cabinet for some situation in the past to compare to the present circumstances. It desires to put everything in a neat little box - either black or white. Perhaps that is why this Lady Justice wears no blindfold; she wants to be grounded in the present. Somewhere between the absolutes of mercy and severity lies a compromise that will balance the scales (as King suggests in the quote above). Verse 71 of Kuan Yin's poem also seems to point to dualities:

When a woman is married to two husbands,

Most likely the match won't succeed.

How can a bow hold two arrows?

A dragon with a unicorn will always fight.

No one can live a life balanced on a high wire. This verse warns that it is better to choose than make no choice at all. Yet just as a bird needs two wings to fly, my decision needs to be rooted in both wisdom and compassion.