Seeing Patterns

From the Tarot of the Crone, the Six of Swords; from Transforming Dragons, 'Koscoa:'

When I see the Pattern, I may know my part.

          What happens when people get fed up with what they deal with on a daily basis? They change jobs, friends, spouses, hobbies and sometimes even the place they live. What is often forgotten is to look where we might have been to blame instead of pointing fingers at others while justifying our own actions. As the title of Jon Kabat-Zinn's book Wherever You Go, There You Are points out, sometimes the 'problem' travels with us. Only when we see our patterns of thinking, speaking and acting can we change them. The six glass shards in each window pane suggest that we also need to choose a framework for our new attitude, or we'll like just keep repeating what's familiar. Koscao is a dragon of dullness and apathy; he doesn't care about anything (his favorite saying is 'F&%# it'). But not caring neither helps us meet our challenges nor cultivate compassion for ourselves and others. It pretty much keeps a paper bag over our heads, and we stew in our own self-pity or self-righteous indignation. Of course a 'don't care' attitude is a framework option; it's just that it can be mighty lonely living with a bag over your head.

Aging with Grace

From the Tarot of the Crone, the Ten of Disks; from Transforming Dragons, 'Tilibruc:'

My world may be smaller. My soul is not.

          This Crone's body is shrunken with age, yet the passion in her mind and heart have only grown larger. I feel pain now when I get up every morning; I know that growing older is not something from which I can hide. But I've cultivated friendships with older women, and they've graciously shared their wisdom in walking this road. First, my face may get more wrinkled, but it isn't required of my heart. I can continue to search out the small joys of each day. I can encourage others and show them compassion when they struggle. Second, while my body can't do the physical tasks it once could, my mind and the creativity it holds is still hanging in there. No sense wasting precious resources. The dragon Tilibruc is like one of those people who always say, "Put a rush on that!" There is no sitting still as he is always ready to finish one task and get on with the next. I doubt he gets any joy from the 'doing' part, and probably pays little attention to the end result. I'd guess there are fears he is trying (unsuccessfully) to outrun. I want to ask him to sit still, look back and consider whether all his busyness actually fills up the emptiness in his heart. Regardless of what I've accomplished, a full heart will tell me that it's been a good day. 

Ms. Sunshine

From the Tarot of the Crone, the Sun; from Transforming Dragons, 'Menoros:'

I am your Bright Shadow

I am the Goodness you've denied.

          The Crone tells us that there is enough suffering in the world; it's time to look for joy in something that got left behind in the daily trudge of life. It's okay to be happy, even when the people around us seem to be miserable. Our 'shine' may even brighten some corners that benefit other people. But Menoros, who loves to control everything and everyone around him, is a caution not to be overly perky with our 'Save the World with Sunshine' anthem. It would be much better if people notice a change in us and ask about it, rather than us chase them down the street trying to convert them. As the 12 Steppers put it, "attraction rather than promotion."

Our help is usually not very helpful. Our help is often toxic. And help is the sunny side of control. Stop helping so much. Don't get your help and goodness all over everybody. ~Anne Lamott

[There is a wonderfully wise and funny 16 minute video by Lamott that can be found here.]
*And turn on the transcripts so you can read along if you wish.

Who's Pulling the Strings?

From the Tarot of the Crone, the Two of Swords; from Transforming Dragons, 'Chump:'

           A person looks at a mirror made of two sword blades. There is an internal conflict, so it seems unusual for a person to look at their reflection for answers. It reminded me of a phrase I heard over and over as a child: "What will people think?!" I would bet many people have that same tape in their head, and that it often produces choices and actions that aren't healthy for them. Perhaps if this person were to become still and quiet, the inner voice not connected with the ego could lend some guidance. Those who are always looking to please rather than follow their own principles often wind up as Chump. They look to others to provide them with a 'fix' - approval and acceptance - and base their self-worth on the accolades or criticism they receive. People who say 'yes' to everything normally don't do anything well; either they are so overloaded with promises to be kept that they can't remember them all, or they don't have time to do any of them efficiently or effectively. Even worse, they lose hold of their internal compass and embody the words of Margaret Thatcher:

If you just set out to be liked, you will be prepared to compromise on anything at anytime, and would achieve nothing. 

Road to the River

From the Tarot of the Crone, the Seven of Disks; from Transforming Dragons, 'Fluc:'

Well I might have gone fishing 

I got to thinking it over

The road to the river is a mighty long way

~ Willie Nelson 

          The generations that came after the Depression Era all seem to have one thing in common when it comes to reaching goals - impatience. Perhaps it's technology that makes us think things should occur in a hurry. However we can't rush the natural flow of life. Yet the Crone's companion book offers some wisdom: "Every turn of the road brings discovery." If we could just pause along the way and pay attention to what's around us, there's no telling what wonders we might find. On the other hand, if we focus only on our destination rather than where our feet are, we're likely to become frustrated by our progress. The dragon Fluc represents rage; he is often at the root of much of our suffering. When this kind of anger is unleashed, it might appear to speed things up. But I've noticed it tends to create resentment, often resulting in a passive-aggressive reflex by the folks who felt the brunt of the rage. They may intentionally produce more obstacles and detours as pay-back. If I can't communicate in a calm, rational way, then I'm going to be the major cause of my lack of movement. The road to the river is going to get even longer.

Flip Side

From the Tarot of the Crone, the Seven of Swords; from Transforming Dragons, 'Ogrostov:'

          The companion book assigns this phrase to the Crone's Seven of Swords: "I travel roads no one has seen. I create worlds of joy and pain." It suggests the amazing talent of the mind to imagine what was and what might be. It can replay moments in the past that still shred our heart into tatters or create a peaceful beach with the sounds of waves crashing onto the sand. Imagination can be our creative muse or the demon that keeps us in dark places. Ogrostov believes that no one is ever in a position to tell him what to do. He represents arrogant pride with a mind open only to those who readily agree with his ideas. Anyone who has that much false pride is likely to also have an equal amount of deep-seated fear. Both these cards remind me how much I am grateful for lojong, a Tibetan form of mind training. Through such training, the unwanted obstacles in life become the raw material for awakening. Pema Chodron explains how it can benefit both the mind and heart:

It is unconditional compassion for ourselves that leads naturally to unconditional compassion for others. If we are willing to stand fully in our own shoes and never give up on ourselves, then we will be able to put ourselves in the shoes of others and never give up on them. True compassion does not come from wanting to help out those less fortunate than ourselves but from realizing our kinship with all beings.

Off-Road

This week I'll be using the Tarot of the Crone, a book and deck set created and self-published by Ellen Lorenzi-Prince. I'll be pairing it with Transforming Dragons, a set created by Sonia Cafe and published by Weiser. Today's cards are the Beast (Page) of Swords and 'LuLing:'

          "I go where the road does not" is the phrase used to describe the Beast/Page of Swords. Going 'off-road' means seeing, hearing and learning beyond what's considered traditional knowledge. It allows for personal exploration too. From high above, the crow gets to see a wider perspective instead of relying on a narrow, individual one. According to the booklet, LuLing represents enlightened wisdom. Pema Chodron describes the ego as 'what resists reality.' To be enlightened means simply to see reality as it is instead of through the lens of craving. Rather than being some blissed-out state, it's a place of calm and compassion that allows us to be with both joy and pain. Knowledge won't give us the keys to Shangri-La, but using it to work with reality can be helpful. It works especially well if it's not filtered through the ego but comes from our basic goodness - the innate openness, warmth and wisdom of all beings.