Emotional Intelligence

From the Tarot of the Radiant Path, the Five of Swords; from the Mirrors of the Heart, "Respect:"

          Judging by the collection of swords in front of him, this knight appears to have won his battles. His sharp wit (and tongue), extensive knowledge and wily words have allowed him to manipulate, trap and overcome his opponents. Which would be great if he were law school, but his skills are often a handicap when dealing with acquaintances, friends and family. Like the combination of liquids being poured next to him, those relationships have gone up in a puff of smoke. I'm sure he's telling himself they're just too sensitive and don't like being proved wrong. He's forgotten what all healthy relationships need to function well - respect. A debate is not a discussion. And agreeing to disagree doesn't mean he's lost. Respect is simply being kind and courteous no matter the degree of difference between his beliefs and another person's ideas. Perhaps the area of emotional intelligence should be added to his course of study.

Making Impressions

From the Tarot of the Radiant Path, the Knight of Swords; from the Mirrors of the Heart, "Grace:"

          The Pegasus, the birds and even the knight all seem to be flying in this card. The Knight of Swords is one of those people with the gift of gab, who can talk about anything with anyone. Yet he can be impulsive at times, wanting to shove his ideals and opinions on others. His thoughts on subjects can be more intellectual than grounded; he may hold a "truth" that is based solely on his own experience without considering (or understanding) the experiences of others. Enter the Grace card, which shows rain falling in the desert. I might not be able to adequately explain what grace means, but I know what it feels like: comfort, ease and calm. These two cards remind me to make sure what I advocate as truth isn't just a personal belief or a generalization but a fact. And before I speak it out loud, I must ask myself if my words are both kind and necessary. Otherwise I'm just trying to make an impression.

Don't Run, Don't Hide

From the Tarot of the Radiant Path, the Tower; from the Mirrors of the Heart, "Uniqueness:"

          Unlike most Tower cards, the fellow in the Radiant Path is trying to run from the disaster. What he thought was going to protect him turned out to be a handicap. Yesterday I was introduced to a new phrase during an online retreat - "spiritual bypassing." First coined by psychologist John Welwood in 1984, it is the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs. Robert Masters writes: "The trappings of spiritual bypassing can look good, particularly when they seem to promise freedom from life's fuss and fury, but this supposed serenity and detachment is often little more than metaphysical valium, especially for those who have made too much of a virtue out of being and looking positive." We think we are walking an authentic spiritual path, while really it is a way to run from our pain and suffering. But spirituality is about connection not disconnection. Which transitions to the Mirrors of the Heart card and makes me think of the NA expression "terminally unique." Yes, we all look different on the outside and have distinct talents and knowledge. But what happens when I compare my insides to your outsides? I feel unique - and not in a good way. What we all have in common is what goes on inside: the joy of accomplishment, the shame of failure, the grief of loved ones lost, the desire to be loved and belong, the wish for good health and happiness. If we are running from our experiences, we have nothing to share with another other than platitudes. Instead I can accept and surrender, taking Welwood's advice: "track the process of present experiencing, following it closely and seeing where it leads. ...unpack the beliefs, identities, and feelings that are subconscious or implicit in what you’re experiencing. When we bring awareness to our experience in this way, it’s like unraveling a tangled ball of yarn: different knots are gradually revealed and untangled one by one."

Ideas in Motion

From the Tarot of the Radiant Path, the Empress; from the Mirrors of the Heart, "Movement:"

 Creativity is not so much a boundless well, but an all-you-can-eat buffet of elements for your creative endeavor. Eventually you've eaten your fill, and it's time to digest and then make something. ― Vera Nazarian

          An arch of moonflowers frames this lovely Empress, whose feet rest on the stump of a tree. I wonder what the wood was used for - perhaps to construct a boat or warm a hearth. Yet what has been cut down will be replaced by the Empress; I imagine she's already nudging acorns that fell from the tree to sprout. Added to the Empress is the image of a bounding goat, representing movement. After sitting for a long while (or having just woken up), do you feel the need to stretch and move your body? It is a natural response to those periods of stillness. I feel like the goat this morning after being limited in movement yesterday. Time to put ideas in motion and bring them to form. 

Digging Burrows

From the Tarot of the Radiant Path, the Emperor; from the Mirrors of the Heart, "Earth:"

          While his men stand at attention and wait to be called to action, the Emperor thinks over his plan. He's not sitting on that throne because he's impulsive, but because he is a wily strategist. He has goals, but he also has formulated steps to reach those objectives. His logic and structure provide a firm foundation for those he loves and wants to protect. My MIL is back in the hospital this morning with internal bleeding (she's on blood thinners for a blood clot). I am in the Emperor's chair today as I call and organize people so my husband and SIL can be available for emotional support.

          The Earth card shows a curled animal or plant in a hole. It made me think of the phrase "gone to ground," an expression that developed when a hunted animal would hide in a burrow. Nowadays, it also refers to people who go in hiding or take refuge in order to rest and renew themselves. With the confusion caused by dementia, my MIL can be prickly and say hurtful things. I'll need to dig out a refuge for my husband and SIL too, a place where they can breathe and relax even if it's only for a short while.

Spilling Over

This week I'll be using the Swietlistej Drogi Tarot (Tarot of the Radiant Path),created by Alla Alicja Chrzanowska and published by Studio Astropsychologii. I'll also be drawing from the oracle Mirrors of the Heart, created and self-published by Lily S. May. Today's draws are Sun and "Touch:"

          Growth, warmth, energy and radiance are evident in this Sun card. Goodwill can also be seen in the way the man and woman reach out toward each other. Genuine gratitude and joy always seem to naturally spill over as generosity and kindness. Which leads seamlessly into the next card, "Touch." Michelangelo said, "To touch can be to give life." Research backs him up: premature infants who were massaged for 15 minutes three times a day gained weight 47 percent faster than others (though they didn't eat any more). But the positive effects are also true for adults, not just babies. Psychologist Dacher Keltner states, "touch signals safety and trust, it soothes. Basic warm touch calms cardiovascular stress. It activates the body’s vagus nerve, which is intimately involved with our compassionate response." As the sun begins to peek through the leaves of the sycamore tree, I feel a song coming on (via Diana Ross):

Take a little time out of your busy day

To give encouragement

To someone who's lost the way

Or would I be talking to a stone

If I asked you

To share a problem that's not your own

We can change things if we start giving

Why don't you

Reach out and touch

Somebody's hand

Make this world a better place

If you can

Dodging Distraction

From the Spiral Tarot, the Nine of Wands; from the Sacred Journey Cards, "Center:"

This man holds a protective arm in front of what he loves - what he has given his time, energy and enthusiasm. He doesn't appear beat up on the outside, but I imagine his spirit has taken a whipping each time he is called to defend his passion. After he's done this over and over, it's easy to become unfocused, to think that everything and everyone might be the enemy. The SJ card reminds him to calm and center his thoughts, so they become like a laser directed at what is important.

All this was mission. But could you accomplish it?

Weren't you always distracted by expectation, 

as if every event announced a beloved?

~ Rainer Maria Rilke