Catching Flies

This week I'll be using the Prairie Tarot, created and self-published by Robin Ator. Paired with it will be the Medicine Cards, a deck and book set published by St. Martin's Press and created by David Carson and Jamie Sams. Today's draws are the Tower and Spider:

Better ride an ass that carries me, than a horse that throws me.

—English Proverb

The Tower is built on illusions, a framework of deceptions we tell ourselves (or that others tell us) that creates an impression of power, security and well-being. But as Thomas Carlyle wrote, "No lie can live forever." Hitting the ground of reality will knock the breath out of us, but hopefully it will also slam some common sense into us as well. Spider's two body segments resemble the shape of an eight - a symbol of infinity. She reminds us that we have endless creative opportunities, but we need to stay rooted in reality rather than living in a fantasy world. An illusory web catches no flies.

What Our Choices Reflect

From the Tarot Lukumi, the Tower; from the Diloggun Cards, Nine Mouths (Osa):

May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears. —Nelson Mandela

The Tarot Lukumi takes a different approach on this card than the RWS. Rather than living in an ivory tower, it shows slaves being freed from captivity by Chango (the Orisha of thunder and justice) along with other Orishas. This card heavily emphasizes the breaking of mental, physical and spiritual chains that hold us. It may be that we've made unskillful choices, allowed others to make our choices, or didn't choose at all. Sometimes, as Mandela points out, we let our fear or anger make decisions. Whatever the cause, the result is that we find ourselves with a choke collar and leash around our necks. Both the ethic and proverb for Osa (Nine Mouths) is worth reflecting on:

Ifa: One must cease leading themselves to misfortune. One must cease bringing harm upon themselves.

Proverb: Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped.

We have an opportunity to escape that collar and leash by making some new decisions and acting on them.

Old Shoes

From the Tarot of the Cat People, the Tower; from the Insectorum Divinorum, The Nest:

An old belief is like an old shoe. We so value its comfort that we fail to notice the hole in it.

— Robert Brault

We all hold old beliefs; they're like amulets designed to protect us. But we can get so comfortable with them that we ignore little changes until a big shift knocks us off our feet. We grasp for anything that promises solid ground, but we need to be careful that we're not putting our trust into another illusion. The Nest represents safety and comfort, a place that allows us to grow. Rather than relying on the group or institution that fed us false beliefs to begin with, we need to take time to look at our experience realistically and see where our ideas led us astray. As Vanessa Zuisei Goddard explained, "On the spiritual path, to study means to immerse yourself in the landscape and not just read the map."

'Fraid of Changin'

From the Spacious Tarot, the Tower; from the Phenomenal Oracle, Landslide:

Well, I've been 'fraid of changin'

'Cause I've built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Even children get older

And I'm gettin' older, too

—Stevie Nicks

Used to mark a well-worn path, a cairn is blasted apart by lightning. We enjoy life when we know what to expect and can prepare for it. As Stevie sings, we build our lives around people and things that give us a sense of security and stability. Yet impermanence and change can alter our lives in drastic ways, as Landslide indicates. Pema Chodron calls this natural occurrence groundlessness. But instead of scrambling to hang on to the old, she advises we look fear right in the eye, "not as a way to solve problems, but as a complete undoing of old ways of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and thinking." In this way, we might transform a breakdown into a breakthrough.

The Yoke We Wear

This week I'll be using the Tarot in de Herstelde Orde (Tarot in Restored Order), created by Rob Docters van Leeuwen and Onno Docters van Leeuwen; it was published by Servire. The second deck I'll be drawing from is the Oracle of Kabbalah, a deck and book set created by Richard Seidman and published by Thomas Dunne Books. Today's draws are the Tower and Aleph (artwork by Michoel Muchnik):

 

The yoke you wear determines the burden you bear. 

―Edwin Louis Cole

One of the booklet's meanings for this card reads, "Liberation from the harness." It parallels the Hebrew letter Aleph in that the letter's original pictograph is an ox's head - an animal usually harnessed and yoked to a plow or cart. We are easily convinced that we are following the correct norms and values, that is until life gives us a hard head slap. That fall from the heights can offer a new perspective, making us reassess our goals and motives. Aleph is the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet and reminds us that as long as we're breathing, there's always time for a new beginning. We're all going to choose a burden to bear; at least with wisdom and clarity we can choose one that is honorable and upright. 

No Separation

From the Druidcraft Tarot, the Tower; from the Druid Plant Oracle, the Banes:

Destruction in creation and creation in destruction lies ingrained in the life-cycles of everything on this planet. We can’t expect the natural world around us to run smoothly and safely for our benefit. 

―Nina Munteanu 

We humans keep trying to outsmart the laws of nature without much lasting success. As ecologist C.S. Holling said, ecosystems are non-linear and self-organizing, continually adapting through cycles of change. No matter how strong our tower (built of money, knowledge, religion or power), we will not be able to permanently protect and separate ourselves from the natural rhythms of growth and loss, destruction and renewal. We too must learn to change and adapt. The Banes (henbane, wolfsbane and hemlock), though poisonous, have been used historically in tiny amounts for medicinal purposes. Their wisdom reminds us it is often a small response that shifts outcomes in a better direction, while large dramatic reactions often have unforeseen and unwanted consequences. If it is fear that compels us, we can wait until sanity returns instead of rushing to build a tower.

Only Opportunity

From the Legacy of the Divine Tarot, the Ace of Coins; from the Tea Leaf Reading Cards, Tower:

There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity. 

—Douglas MacArthur

Marchetti's Ace is full of symbols: acorns for something that can be planted and harvested; a hedgehog for resourcefulness and adaptability; ladybugs for luck and protection; and a bee for industry and allies. Opportunities may sound easy, but they can require the qualities of action, innovation and flexibility, defense of one's time and energy, hard work, and possibly partners. Does this already sound too complicated and overwhelming? Tower encourages us to look from a higher perspective so that we see the big picture instead of sinking in a million details. Once we see from this view, it will become clearer how to prioritize and what step to take first. 

Unfolding

From the Rosetta Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Day of the Dead Lenormand, the Tower:

So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them.

― Sylvia Plath

The Ace of Cups represents loving energy, the need to love and be loved. Meleen describes it as a point of being receptive and merging with others. But these two actions require that we make space in our lives, that we don't just talk about ourselves and do only what we want to do. It means being open to what others are interested in and what's on their minds too. The Tower in Lenormand generally represents big organizations or the government. However, in the area of relationships, it suggests distance and standing alone. As Jo Helm wrote, "Lost in a sea of self, we forget the beauty of the shore."

Don't Worry About It

From the Ship of Fools, the Tower; from the Wisdom of the Four Winds, Octopus:

Why are you, or anybody, afraid? Is it based on not wanting to be hurt? Or is it that one wants complete security? —Krishnamurti

This fool's house is on fire, but he seems to be thinking, "Maybe it will go out on its own" instead of getting to safety. For him, the Tower is his security, his escape from all he fears. Everyone is scared of something, but reality has a way of finding us whether we like it or not. The Octopus, an adaptable, intelligent creature, has had legends told about it that make it into a hideous monster. From 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea to Ursala in The Little Mermaid, it was something to be feared. Yes, it is unusual, but it is also wonderful. Sometimes what we fear - if we face it - can teach us how to be more adaptable to what shows up unexpected.

Relationship Saves Everything

From the Idiosyncradeck Tarot, the Tower; from the Mixed Emotions Cards, Hopelessness:

This is how I want to journey through this time of increasing uncertainty. Groundless, hopeless, insecure, patient, clear. And together. ―Margaret Wheatley

These cards sum up my feelings today as  federal grant cuts are hitting our community hard: our local Arts Council will be closing; the Job Corps (that houses and teaches skills to at-risk teens - currently 500) is closing; and our inter-library book loan service (that allows us to borrow books from other libraries in GA that our library doesn't have) will cease. And while Emory hospital is not local, our region has relied on its cutting-edge technology and treatments (which recently saved my husband's life); they lost all of their grants as well. I recently came across this essay by Wheatley, and instead of sitting in a blue funk, I'll share some of her words of wisdom:

I read a quote from Rudolf Bahro that did help: "When the forms of an old culture are dying, the new culture is created by a few people who are not afraid to be insecure." Could insecurity, self-doubt, be a good trait? I find it hard to imagine how I can work for the future without feeling grounded in the belief that my actions will make a difference. 

Being liberated from results, giving up outcomes, doing what feels right rather than effective. He helps me recall the Buddhist teaching that hopelessness is not the opposite of hope. Fear is. Hope and fear are inescapable partners. Anytime we hope for a certain outcome, and work hard to make it a happen, then we also introduce fear...

In a letter to a friend, Thomas Merton advised: "Do not depend on the hope of results . . .you may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself. . . .you gradually struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people . . . .In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that saves everything."

Free Fall

From the Prairie Tarot, the Tower; from the Medicine Cards, Eagle:

To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man's-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. 

—Pema Chodron

Humans bank on things that they believe will provide them with security and certainty - money, religion, education, power, health regimens, etc. It's not that these things aren't helpful, but the nature of life is constant change and impermanence; there is no way to escape loss, aging, sickness and death. If we look outward, we will find these things hold true for everyone. Eagle is a reminder of Great Spirit (Ground of Being, Power Greater than Ourselves). A spiritual path won't keep us safe from the hard knocks of life, but it can soften the blows, providing us comfort and a way to adjust.

Adjusting Desires

From the Rohrig Tarot, the Tower; from the Master Tarot/Oracle, the Son of Man:

Learning to sail the worldly winds involves learning when we need to give up on our desires, adjusting them to the reality of the situation. Whilst matching our desires to the world will be difficult, expecting the world to match our desires is utterly futile. ~Vajragupta

The companion book states that there are three builders of the Tower: ignorance, an overblown ego, and ambition. Its structure is supposed to protect us from blame, loss, failure and sorrow while giving us an advantage in obtaining praise, gain, success and joy. But these worldly winds come as a paired set of four, blowing in one direction and then its opposite; no one can make the breeze blow in one direction. The arrogance of thinking otherwise will eventually bring us to a Tower experience, not as punishment, but because we are trying to dam the natural flow of life. The Son of Man symbolizes a chance to discover that we are a part of rather than apart from. When we see that we are one part of a much greater whole, we have no need to protect our egos. 

Change the Eyes

From the Neuzeit Tarot, the Tower; from Rory's Story Cubes, Elephant:

Alan Watts once stated that reality was just a Rorschach ink-blot - we make sense of it based on what we've experienced and learned. Yet sometimes we create a protective delusion built with the bricks of a concept or dogma that we think we'll shield us from any ill wind that blows. It might be based on religion, politics, education, money or a health regime, but at some point reality will rip it apart, leaving us with a hard landing. Elephants move at a mindful pace, nurture relationships, and exercise compassion and empathy. Their strength and resilience comes from these relational traits, not self-centered interests. With their example, perhaps we should take the advice of Nikos Kazantzakis: "Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality."

Out of the Rubble

From the Prairie Tarot, the Tower; from the Medicine Cards, Jaguar:

Life is not about how many curve balls you encounter, but rather adjusting your perspective, to effectively handle each curve in life. ~Laura D. Field

Just when life is humming along, when we've got our ducks in a row and feel content, THE UNEXPECTED shows up. This is not the bouquet of flowers kind of surprise - more of a 2 x 4 to the head. And its not something that we can sweep under the rug or distract ourselves from; it must be dealt with. Jaguar, in Mayan mythology, devoured those who were dishonorable. Its Medicine is said to be integrity and impeccability. In the case of the Tower, it suggests avoiding blame and excuses as well as habitual patterns that might have set the crash into motion. Honesty, awareness and compassion can bring clarity, showing us the most skillful way out of the rubble.

Projects with a Purpose

From the Tyldwick Tarot, the King of Staves; from the Antiquarian Lenormand, the Tower:

The King of Staves is, elementally speaking, Air of Fire. His airy nature allows him the ability to see with clarity, speak persuasively, and discern whether an innovation is useful or just a waste of money. His fiery nature brings a love of challenge and the ability to motivate people to action and get projects completed. The four staves by the window suggest a stability rather than the impulsiveness seem in the knight. The French horn, an offshoot of the hunting horn, implies that he enjoys the adventure of leading a 'hunt' with a practical purpose. The Lenormand Tower shows the beginning of the construction of the Eiffel Tower, used as the centerpiece of the 1889 World's Fair. This card can represent an institution or organization that serves others - in other words, one that has a practical purpose. Had the 'Iron Lady' been built by the King of Staves, he'd be happy to know that it now serves as a tourist attraction, the most visited monument with an entrance fee in the world. 

No Smooth Ride

From the Norse Tarot, the Tower; from the Wolf Pack, Healing:

There is something aggressive about that approach to life, trying to flatten out all the rough spots and imperfections into a nice smooth ride. ~Pema Chodron

The Norse gods established order and restrained the forces of chaos, but at Ragnarök ("Fate of the Gods"), these forces broke free. The inevitable, massive battle resulted in the cataclysmic destruction of the cosmos and everything in it. I suppose it is human nature to want to have our ducks in a row, to fix what is broken, and to create stability where there is insecurity. But as Chodron states, life is never going to be an unending smooth ride. People, places, and things just never stay in perfect condition or continue to perform in the way that pleases us. Anger, fear or grief nearly always follow what is unexpected. While there's nothing wrong with these emotions, we can get stuck in them if we feel we've been unfairly and personally attacked. Healing suggests giving ourselves a time out to come to grips with reality. Instead of battling what is, we rest with what is, allowing us to view it over time with a bit more clarity and perspective. 

Equal Parts

From the Nigel Jackson Tarot, the Knight of Staves; from the Viking Lenormand, Tower:

The Knight of Staves is ambitious, constantly looking for a way to broaden his contacts and try something new. He's not very comfortable with comfort; he'd much rather stir up some excitement. This Knight doesn't contain even a teaspoon of prudence, and his impulsiveness can create chaos rather than anything useful. But no one would call him boring. From a tall watchtower, sentinels would keep a sharp lookout for anyone that might present a threat. It reminds me of the stories my dad would tell about working with the Miami highway patrol - hours and hours of tedious driving that could lure one into a stupor yet might unexpectedly change into something dangerous in an instant. The Knight of Staves and the Tower have opposite aims: the Knight seeks adventure but is undependable while the watchman sticks to duty but is likely stressed and a little neurotic. Surely there is some balance that could be found between these two.

Life should be equal parts responsibility, and fun.

~Acura commercial

'Build a Wall' Mindset

From the Ship of Fools Tarot, the Tower; from the Wisdom of the Four Winds, Mantis:

We all can get in the 'build a wall' mindset when we feel threatened by people, things, or situations. We strategize and make preparations, believing we can out-think and save ourselves from reality. In our mind, a separation is made between us and them, this and that. I am a person who likes to prepare for things, but I have learned the hard way that I live in a world of constant change and uncertainty. I'd do better to practice resilience and equanimity instead. Plus, fear never sees with clarity, so why make it the captain of my ship? Mantis is an insect that can be so still, it is often overlooked as a twig or leaf. It's keyword is discernment, the ability to see clearly and objectively. To employ it necessitates slowing down my mental pace and releasing my obsessive desires, tightly-held opinions, and emotional drama. Here in this open space I can meet reality, do what I can, and make peace with the rest.  

What the Buddha came to see is that who we are is an ever-changing stream of experience. And when we cling—to our firmly held ideas, beliefs, roles, and identities—we freeze-frame reality, turning flowing water into frozen ice, and then we find ourselves pinched and bound, locked into tiny cells. Our cold, sharp edges become a prison. We are in here, and everything else is out there. ~Pamala Weis

Not One or the Other

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the Tower; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Corset:

To be fully alive, fully human and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.

― Pema Chodron

It's not so much that the unexpected happens, it's just that we expect it not to. Both the cards today imply ways we try to get around the uncertainties inherent in life. The Tower is the way we try to distance ourselves from pain; we may see it from a distance and even pity others, but we strive to be untouched by it. The Corset squeezes and shapes what is natural into a preferred form, much like the judgmental thoughts we can have ("He shouldn't have smoked and should have exercised more.") that are designed to separate us from suffering. But the mental and emotional walls we use are a delusion - the nature of life is joy and adversity, not one or the other. In the words of Chodron, "To live is to be willing to die over and over again." We release what has already happened and choose to greet each day as new and fresh, with curiosity rather than fear.

The Unexpected

From the New Liminal Tarot, the Tower; from the Inward Oracle, Purpose:

No matter how organized we are, or how well we plan, we can always expect the unexpected.

~Brandon Jenner

The look of shock and fear on these faces is one I know well. No matter if we pay our insurance, eat healthy, put away some savings and take care of what we own, life can still throw us a curve ball. A hurricane can rip up the house we've paid off with thousands of dollars in damage. A mammogram can show some growths that weren't there before. We spend so much time in protection mode, we forget to cultivate our dealing-with-reality mode. The Purpose card shows a woman doing a Reverse Warrior Pose, a challenging asana that can  release tension in the muscles around the ribs, allowing for a freer deeper breath. The Purpose card asks me what my objective and aspiration is for my life. Is it merely to hide and attempt to avoid the hard, unpleasant stuff, or is it to embrace it all as a spiritual warrior? 

A warrior is always on a journey, and a main feature of that journey is fear. This fear is not simply something to be lamented, avoided, or vanquished. It is something to be examined, something to make a relationship with. ~Pema Chodron