Mix and Match

From the Ferret Tarot, the Two of Cups; from Nature's Wisdom Oracle, Scarab Beetle:

In a relationship of respect, your task is to understand the other person as a unique individual and learn how to mesh your needs with his or hers... not to control the other person or try to change him or her.  

—Peter Gray

The Two of Cups combines difference and diversity into a relationship of equality and harmony. Like some jigsaw puzzles, this can seem easier before it's unboxed. The key - no matter what type of relationship - is respect. And it is necessary to respect ourselves, not just the other person; otherwise, we may question the sincerity of their compliments or become a people-pleaser. The Scarab Beetle, known for creating a perfectly round ball of dung to feed its young, reminds us that good relationships are formed by developing honest communication, ways to handle conflict without aggression, and a sense of humor.

Sore Winners

From the Ferret Tarot, the Five of Swords; from Nature's Wisdom Oracle, Praying Mantis:

Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass. —Shakespeare

There are sore losers, but there are sore winners too. Such folks gloat about their wins and delight in making the loser feel inadequate and inferior. Rather than graciously acknowledging victory, they act more like a bully who's incapable of empathy. Unfortunately, they don't realize the high cost of their "win," but the Praying Mantis points this out. Hubris creates animosity rather than connection, burning bridges and friendships. Arrogance can convince us that we know more and have a better understanding than anyone else. When things go to hell, there won't be anyone to help, and the blame will fall on the one holding all the swords.

Balance and Buoyancy

From the Ferret Tarot, the Two of Pentacles; from Nature's Wisdom Oracle, Nautilus:

Juggling is an illusion. ... In reality, the balls are being independently caught and thrown in rapid succession. ―Gary Keller

There are times when we all are stretched by an overload of responsibilities - some are necessary tasks we must do, some are obligations we need to do, and some are simply things we want to do. But juggling lit torches, balls and beanbags are very different things. The key is to prioritize our efforts by what is necessary and needed first. In a Nautilus, the animal resides in the shell’s largest chamber, while the other chambers function like the ballast tanks of a submarine. Water is moved about in these other chambers for balance and buoyancy. Likewise, we need to move from task to task with purpose and intention. As Gary Keller explains, "Activity is often unrelated to productivity, and busyness rarely takes care of business."

Multiple Choice

From the Ferret Tarot, the Two of Swords; from Nature's Wisdom Oracle, Pumpkin:

Maintain an active mind: alert to the possibilities and mischievous in your pursuit of them.

―Stewart Stafford

The position of these two swords indicates that there is indecision because of a conflict between mind and heart. The mind is grounded in the facts it knows (but also the unknown it fears). The heart wavers between what it desires and the fear that it won't have the perseverance to accomplish it. Yet before we make any decision, we must acknowledge that change is possible and life can be both different and better. Pumpkin reminds us of the abundance of possibilities. We often see only one view, but just as this gourd can contain 500 seeds, there are many more options and potential prospects that we haven't even imagined. As Francis of Assisi said, "Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

There's a Distinction

This week I'll be using the Ferret Tarot, created and self-published by Elaine Moertl. Along with it, I'll be drawing from Nature's Wisdom Oracle, created by Mindy Lighthipe and published by Schiffer Books. The cards for today are the Three of Swords and Coyote:

We must rediscover the distinction between hope and expectation.

―Ivan Illich

I read a monostich poem by Rafiq Kathwari this morning that illustrates the pain of the Three of Swords: "As I fling my arms wide, he extends his hand." As Illich's quote implies, we often set ourselves up for disappointment. Having hope is understanding that the outcome is a possibility (even if only a slim chance); it's not a sure thing. Expectation is a one-sided mental contract that we demand be delivered. And what happens when that doesn't occur? We think of ourselves as a victim, in anguish due to another's cruelty. We never consider that what we expected was never agreed to by the other person. Coyote is associated with adaptability because no matter how its environment has changed, it has managed to adapt to it. Coyote encourages us to live lightly - without taking everything personally and seeing from a self-centered perspective. We can have more joy untainted by resentment by doing so. 

In the Labyrinth

From the Sasuraibito Tarot, the Seven of Cups; from the Soul Cards, Searching the Past:

You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present. ―John Green

What do we think will fulfill us emotionally, that pie in the sky that will finally bring us contentment? As Green points out in the quote above, thinking about it is much easier than putting our feet in motion and our hands to work. Searching the Past cautions us to look back on previous choices to see how they panned out for us. Perhaps money and fame led to constant worry about losing them. Revenge was likely sweet for only a moment, followed by the fear of reprisal. As Shakespeare said, what's past is prologue- if we learn from it, we can chart our future with clarity and wisdom.

Work Environments

From the Sasuraibito Tarot, the Three of Wands; from the Soul Cards, Grace and Merit:

We all start with gifts. Merit comes from what we make of them.

—Jean Toomer

Three points always define a flat plane, meaning a three-legged structure will never wobble on uneven ground. Triads introduce diverse viewpoints and prevent stagnation that might afflict simple binaries. When expanding our horizons, collaboration and cooperation with others can help us develop a more stable and far-sighted plan of action. Grace and Merit refer to two different gifts - offering forgiveness, kindness, and patience (grace) or the rewards that come from ethical, generous actions and good works (merit). When working with others, the gift of grace can lead to the gift of merit. Grace fosters connection and respect, allows mistakes, and is more likely to produce work that benefits the whole. What a boon to be in an environment where each person feels inspired and believes what they do is meaningful and appreciated.