Willing to Feel Some Discomfort

From the Tarot of St. Croix, the Three of Swords; from the Archetype Cards, Samaritan:

To grow in the ability to know what to do when an emotion grabs you, it’s helpful to remember three words: embodied, present, and kind. Drop into your body, bring your attention to where you are right now, and be kind. When there’s an upsurge of emotion, these three words can help you to deescalate. The main instruction is to stay conscious and, as Tsoknyi Rinpoche has said, “You have to be willing to feel some discomfort.” —Pema Chodron

It is not too surprising that researchers have found many of the same areas of the brain are activated when we experience social rejection or heartbreak as when we're in physical pain. We may feel that we not only lost a group or person, but part of our identity as well. The St. Croix card shows an unusual distinction - one of the swords has become a needle, sewing up what was broken. Samaritan indicates helping what or who you would prefer to ignore - in this case, our self. It's tempting to want to mentally replay every word and action, however this has the same effect as acid reflux. Instead, we can stay with the feelings in our body and be kind to ourselves. Therapists would suggest we seek support, develop a routine, and embrace this change as an opportunity for self-discovery. Like the stitches in the heart, our recovery will take time and won't occur in a straight line. 

Working Together

From the Tarot of St. Croix, the Three of Wands; from the Archetype Cards, Lover:

If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

—Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The Three of Wands is about expansion and looking toward new horizons. But the booklet suggests this hinges on visionary leadership. It's not enough to bulldoze toward one's target; such a leader must inspire rather than micromanage. As psychologist Daniel Goleman explains, "Visionary leaders articulate where a group is going, but not how it will get there – setting people free to innovate, experiment, take calculated risks." Lover symbolizes being devoted to someone, a cause or a goal. Activists of all kinds know that passion and connection is what sustains perseverance when challenges arise. With a united purpose, a network of support can keep us afloat. 

Memories Under Construction

From the Tarot of St. Croix, the Six of Cups; from the Archetype Cards, Engineer:

We didn't realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun.

 —A.A. Milne

Sixes represent bringing back balance and harmony; thus, good memories rekindle joy and comfort in the Six of Cups. Researchers have found that recalling pleasant memories can reduce stress and improve our well-being. As people age, their brains naturally shift toward processing and remembering positive experiences over negative ones. While we can't live in the past, it can be helpful in pulling us out of the mulligrubs. Engineers apply science, mathematics, and creativity to design, build, and solve practical, problems. This card prompts us not just to rely on the memories we have, but to build some new ones through fun, wonder or beauty. 

Wounds into Wisdom

From the Tarot of St. Croix, the Six of Swords; from the Archetype Cards, Alchemist:

Coming out of the dark

I finally see the light now

—Gloria Estefan

Dogmatic views, unyielding ideologies and unwavering beliefs and can keep us trapped. What seemed like solid convictions can leave us in darkness where nothing grows but mushrooms. But then we see a sliver of light, a ray of openminded ideas that feels like freedom. We leave behind the voices that tell us, "Be faithful, don't be a quitter, the known is better than the unknown." We eventually find the sunlight. The Alchemist represents turning base motives into discerning wisdom. She asks us not only to leave behind those old ideas, but to also see the part we played in getting stuck in them. Were we looking for stability, security and certainty? There is no such thing in this world of flux. Better to listen to the words of Oprah: "Turn your wounds into wisdom."

Up and Down, Round and Round

From the Tarot of St. Croix, the Wheel of Fortune; from the Archetype Cards, Child - Magical:

What goes up must come down

Spinnin' wheel got to go 'round

Talkin' 'bout your troubles, it's a cryin' sin

Ride a painted pony, let the spinnin' wheel spin

—David Clayton-Thomas

Lately, I feel like my "spinning wheel" is traveling at 90 mph. I'm just hanging on for the ride as I am submerged in challenges, reemerge in the sunlight, and slip downward again. The Blood, Sweat and Tears' song is a good reminder that it is useless to fight circumstances we can't control (aka reality), and chronic complaining does us no good either. Child - Magical does not refer to magical thinking, but hopeful thinking. I often hear "everything happens for a reason," as if the cosmos had an individual plan that unfolded daily for each of us. However, there is a huge difference between cause and reason; a cause is the physical event that forces something to occur, while reason is the story given for an event. As this Child reminds us, we can decide on a personal meaning; this story can help us cultivate resilience and keep our sense of humor.

Choose Wisely

This week I'll be using the Tarot de St. Croix, created and self-published by Lisa de St. Croix. Along with it, I'll be drawing from the Archetype Cards, created by Caroline Myss and published by Hay House. Today's cards are the Seven of Cups and Martyr:

Emotion and imagination can produce wonderful visions, but without grounding in both action and the outer realities of life these fantastic images remain daydreams, ‘fancies’ without real meaning or value. ―Rachel Pollack

The Seven of Cups reminds me of three kinds of people: those who spend time dreaming about what they want in life, those who try to do a multitude of things at once, and those who choose one thing that lights them up and devote themself to it. The first set of folks never actually do anything concrete to turn their desires into reality. The second group has so many irons in the fire that nothing is done well, and instead of fulfillment, they just feel exhausted. The third cluster acts and focuses on their dream, finds joy in it, and still has time for other things. At various stages in my life, I think I've tried them all. Martyr represents someone who foregoes their own desires for the welfare and well-being of others. Yet this card warns us to check our motives to see if our "selflessness" is just a way to achieve recognition and sympathy. As Wilhelm Stekel wrote, "The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that is wants to live humbly for one."

Rolling with the River

From the Urban Tarot, the Fool; from the Principles to Live By, Mindfulness:

The universe is always conspiring to help us, if we only trust its wisdom.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Fool sees no difference between possibility and reality. He does not know where the road will take him, but he sets off to see the world with a glad heart. His trust comes from a sense of interconnection; he isn't simply pushed along by the river of life, he is part of the river itself. The Fool represents the joy and freedom we all felt before our experiences cause us to build walls in an attempt to protect ourselves. Mindfulness is paying attention on purpose without an agenda or judgment. It allows us to see what is actually there rather than filtering our perception through our beliefs, desires and opinions. When we are taking a leap of faith, it can help prevent a misstep as well as recognize the opportunities before us.