Soggy Feathers

From the Daniloff Tarot, the Moon; from the Kuan Yin Oracle, verse 93:

          Research has shown that thought suppression (actively trying not to think about something) is of no benefit when it comes to trying to control our behavior. We actually increase the behavior that we were hoping to avoid. On the other hand, studies have found that the expression of our thoughts creates a better outcome when we're attempting to change. Otherwise, we often get triggered by something and act, leaving us feeling as if it unintentionally 'just happened.' Perhaps that crustacean coming out of the water is a hint that some feelings and thoughts need to be aired. Verse 93 from the Kuan Yin Oracle reads:

Even a sparrow does not respect a phoenix

whose feathers are soaked in the rain.

One day the heavens will clear

and her soggy feathers will change back to a cloak.

The flip side of the coin is that we don't need to overanalyze and talk about nothing else but our thoughts or feelings either, ending up with soggy feathers that won't let us fly. Being honest about how we feel or think, we can begin to replace old habits and patterns with new ones. It won't happen overnight, but one day we might find ourselves unexpectedly wearing a lovely feathered cloak. 

Time and Energy

This week I'll be using the Daniloff Tarot, created and self-published by Alexander Daniloff. I'll also be using a set of Kuan Yin Sticks with the corresponding verses from Stephen Karcher's book The Kuan Yin Oracle as well as from www.kuanshihyin.net. Today's draws are the Nine of Pentacles and Verse 56:

 

Kuan Yin painting by Artto Pan 

          Under a grapevine trellis, a woman pauses to enjoy the morning and do some bird watching. Her gown and the castle behind her might make people judge her as being born into money or having married into wealth. But neither is true; it has been her own hard work that has led her to this place. The discipline of continually adding to her skills and knowledge and then putting these to work has created self-sufficiency and financial independence. As Pele once said, "Success is no accident." The 56th Kuan Yin verse reads:

The beauty of moonbeams, the cool evening breeze,

the soft murmur of a stream refresh us.

But don't let yourself be distracted

by the charming flowers and trees.

There's nothing wrong with taking a relaxing break to rejuvenate one's mind and body. But this verse is a reminder that nothing stays in place, so we shouldn't convince ourselves that since we've climbed to the top we can just sit there. The more we have, the more we have to occupy ourselves by taking care of it. Perhaps the next step for this woman is needing less so she will have more time and energy to spend freely. 

Connection

From the Golden Tarot, the Empress; from the Yantra Deck, Power:

          The Empress is often seen as the emotional ballast to the Emperor's pepper diet of logic. Yet the feelings that flow from her have a purpose - they are used to relate to others. She connects with others in a way that simple rational thinking cannot. In doing so, she nurtures everything and everyone she comes in contact with, creating through connection. The Power card suggests we are in charge of creating our own reality and asks us to consider when we abdicate or exploit our power. There is power in relationships, at times equally shared and other times misused or given away. Often our roles with certain people have become so ingrained and familiar that we don't question if it is healthy or harmful to them or us. Perhaps it is time to be more aware of that power.

People respond in accordance to how you relate to them.

~Nelson Mandela

Mental Bindings

From the Golden Tarot, the Eight of Swords; from the Yantra Deck, Life:

          This woman has convinced herself that she is between a rock and a hard place, that she has run out of options. Yet it can clearly be seen that the rope around her arms is loosely draped, and she could easily remove her blindfold. Why do we put ourselves in mentally spun bindings and then act as if we have no free will? Many of us prefer the Instagram version of life that leaves out the gnats, sweat and dead animal smell. We prefer the glossy magazine version that airbrushes away any imperfections. We don't want to deal with anything difficult or unpleasant, so we blindfold ourselves to any challenges - as if that exempts us from making any decisions or taking any action. However, the Life card is a reminder that yes, this physical life is hard, but it also includes people to love, beauty to enjoy, and moments that can leave us awestruck.  As the Caribou coffee slogan states, "Life is short: stay awake for it."

No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse.

~Randy Pausch

Maturity Lesson #2

From the Golden Tarot, the Ace of Coins; from the Yantra Deck, Patience:

          Another Ace, this one an opportunity to develop maturity in the physical realm. What might that look like?

• I would give my body the rest, nutrition and exercise it needs. I would recognize that aging, sickness and death is a natural part of life, therefore I won't expect my body to look or perform now as it did in my twenties or thirties. I would adapt to these changes as best as I'm able rather than resent them. 
• I would be mindful of my spending, not following every whim or wish (especially if I'm simply bored or looking to change my mood). While I don't have to squeeze every penny until Lincoln yells 'ouch,' I can recognize what is sufficient and what is simply excess. There are times for spending on fun and pleasure, but not if it causes problems when the bills come due.
• I would be a good steward of what I own, taking care of my home, car and other items that serve and support me just as my body does.
• I would be mindful of how I spend time - as the lily's blooms in the card imply, I only have a limited amount of it. Work, play and rest are all important to balance out in the measured time I have.

Patience is calm endurance, not grinding my teeth so I don't give someone a head slap. It requires that I drop my demands and expectations. It is an excellent opportunity to become mindful so that I'm aware of the way in which I spend my life.

Mental Maturity

From the Golden Tarot, the Ace of Swords; from the Yantra Deck, Transformation:

          The Ace of Swords represents clarity of mind combined with eloquence of speech. The angel seems to have cut mistletoe (a parasitic plant) from a tree, implying not relying on outside agents to do all the thinking or explaining. I sometimes see the Aces as an opportunity to mature in that suit. Here is the chance to see the rawness of reality without ducking or running, without adding my wishes, assumptions or emotions to distort it. Isn't this a better starting point if I want to find solutions and be proactive rather than reactive? The Transformation yantra uses the Chartres labyrinth in its design, a path that when walked can often make you feel like you're headed in the wrong direction (which kind of describes the evolving process). The booklet states: "Responding to what arises with alert presence and openness enables us to meet endless changes and challenges of life, not as victims, but as conscious creators." I think the angel with the sword would agree.

In the end, secure happiness comes only with the solid feeling we have when we know that we have become the person we were meant to be in this lifetime - that we have matured and used the life we have been given in the best way we could. ~ Norman Fischer

Yin and Yang of Support

From the Golden Tarot, the Five of Cups; from the Yantra Deck, Support:

          He may have a big castle with lots of servants, but money hasn't brought this king happiness. Perhaps his children got caught up in the opioid crisis or his wife ran off with his best friend. Platitudes offered, like "This too shall pass," might be true, but they rarely offer any comfort. Kristin Neff speaks of the yin and yang of self-compassion. The yin side includes self-care, recognition that suffering is a shared human condition, and a mindfulness of one's own suffering that doesn't wallow but does validate and accept. The yang side involves protecting ourselves, recognizing that we are not alone, and refusing to be silent and shamed. We soothe ourselves and respond appropriately. The Support card parallels Neff's ideas, suggesting both giving and receiving. While it is important to find healthy support systems and companions who encourage us, we can also use our own pain to help others be free from their own.

Crossing or Burning

This week I'll be using the Golden Tarot, created by Kat Black and published by U.S. Games. Along with it, I'll be drawing from the Yantra Deck, created by Karl Schaffner and Maya Deva Adjani. It was published by Vayu Publishing. Today's cards are the Star and Choice:

Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.

~John C. Maxwell 

          After the Tower, the Star appears. Here can be found rest and healing, but hopefully insight as well. When we think, speak and act, we create mental patterns that make it easier to do the same thing again without much thought. But just because they are familiar and comfortable doesn't always mean they're healthy and skillful. Arriving flat on our faces at the feet of the Star, we get a do-over. Using both hindsight and discernment, we can acknowledge those patterns often created by anger or fear. The Choice mantra gives us the key to open a new door. While it can be extremely difficult to make different choices than the ones we easily slide into, if we keep making them long enough they will in time become what is familiar.

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

~David Russell

Default Mode

From the Tarot de St. Croix, the Three of Swords; from the Archetype Cards, Nature Child:

          Look carefully at this Three of Swords and you'll notice one of the swords is actually a needle stitching the heart back together. Our thoughts can be useful or harmful. Researchers have found we have a Default Mode Network that automatically comes online when we aren't consciously focused on something. This part of the mind wanders, thinking of the past or fantasizing about the future. As Drake Baer explains, "the brain defaults to thinking about the person it’s embedded in." The DMN tends to drift where there are unresolved issues or where it perceives a threat. If we are angry or grieving, you can guess what pots are simmering on your mind's stovetop. However, we can't stop this flow of thoughts, but we can focus on something else (which takes the DMN offline). Neuroscience has found that meditation is a huge help, but the Nature Child reminds us of that paying attention to our pets or the beauty of the outdoors can guide our thoughts in a more healing direction too.

Fuel for the Present

From the Tarot de St. Croix, the Six of Cups; from the Archetype Cards, Advocate:

          St. Croix offers us a snapshot of childhood with a young girl having a tea party with her dolls and stuffed animals. While the Six of Cups represents nostalgia, numerically it also symbolizes a return to harmony (integrating the past with the present). One of the healthiest ways to do this is shown in the Advocate archetype - using what was experienced in the past (good or bad) to actively support a beneficial cause. People who enjoyed animals and pets may become animal rights activists. Those who grew up in dysfunctional homes might become advocates for women's shelters or substance abuse recovery. Those who have fond memories of camping under the stars could be eco-warriors. The passion of the past is a good fuel for the present.

I spend half my time comforting the afflicted, and the other half afflicting the comfortable.

― Wess Stafford

The Weakness of Aggression

From the Tarot de St. Croix, the Page of Cups; from the Archetype Cards, Pioneer:

          This young lass cradles water in her hands as she sits on a giant lotus. The Page of Cups represents vulnerability, gentleness, and sensitivity in the watery world of emotions and relationships. Unfortunately, her 'try a little tenderness' approach seems to be nearing extinction, soon to be replaced by 'try a lot of toughness.' But while intimidation and aggressiveness might allow someone to have their way, it won't really get them what they want (respect or friendship). The Pioneer archetype tries something new. In the world of relationships, it might look something like Gandhi's nonviolent approach (ahimsa) to getting India out from under British rule. At a kid's level, it might take the shape of Sesame Street teaching about inclusivity and kindness. While the Page's way is the softer way, it definitely isn't the easiest.

We are only just beginning to understand the power of love because we are just beginning to understand the weakness of force and aggression.

― B.F. Skinner

Skillful Means

From the Tarot de St. Croix, the Devil; from the Archetype Cards, the Poet:

 2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song

If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me

Threatening the life it belongs to.

~ Anna Nalick

          The preachers tell us to pray away our extreme emotions, but fear, anger, lust, and grief aren't sinful, they're just a natural part of the human experience. But we do need healthy ways to process these feelings that don't repress or express them in harmful ways. As Parker Palmer explained, "Violence is what happens when we don’t know what else to do with our suffering." We have innumerable ways of hurting both ourselves and others when we don't know how to channel that energy. For each of us, finding a skillful outlet will likely be different. I had one counselor who advised me to beat a pillow with a bat, which only pumped my rage full of adrenaline. But walking seemed to diffuse it with much better results. The Poet card suggests a creative expression to get these feelings out and allow us to see them in a more objective light. Soul friends who know how to listen deeply and self-created rituals may also help. What have you found helpful?

A Part of the Herd

From the Tarot de St. Croix, the Tower; from the Archetype Cards, Detective:

We do not receive wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness which no one else can make for us, which no one can spare us, for our wisdom is the point of view from which we come at last to regard the world. ~ Marcel Proust

          The Tower could easily be called the 'walls that ego built.' It is designed to separate us from the herd of humanity, making us think we are above the rest. It can be heard in statements like, "I'll never suffer from depression because I put my faith in Jesus." "I'll never have heart problems or diabetes or cancer because I eat healthy foods and exercise." "I'll never be poor because I invest my money wisely." The list could go on and on. In this card, the Hindu god Shiva ('the destroyer') has blown the top off the tower and evicted its occupant. The nakedness of the woman on the back of the bird indicates how quickly life can take a drastic turn and tear away our illusions. No matter how thick or high the walls we build, we've got no control over conditions and external agents that can radically alter our lives. Our uniqueness gets blown to bits, and we find out we're a part of the herd after all. The Detective card suggests we look at some hard truths before we start building another protective wall. Being vulnerable may feel scary, but it can help us develop compassion for ourselves and others. Acknowledging our common bonds can give us more comfort and strength than concrete.

Benevolence and Restoration

From the Tarot de St. Croix, the Six of Pentacles; from the Archetype Cards, the Healer:

          The two entwined figures of the Buddhist yab-yum is not related to sexual practices but instead depicts the union of dual forces. The male symbolizes compassion and skillful means while the female represents insight and wisdom. We all have something to share - time, energy, skills, knowledge - even if we're not financially well off. When we combine our assets and resources with others, we create a healthier whole. The Healer archetype is one that serves others by helping alleviate and transform their pain. We don't necessarily have to know Reiki to do this; sometimes simply listening deeply to another can help. The themes of benevolence and restoration remind me of a poem by Danusha Laméris called "Small Kindnesses:"

 I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walk 
down a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs 
to let you by. Or how strangers still say “bless you” 
when someone sneezes, a leftover 
from the Bubonic plague. “Don’t die,” we are saying. 
And sometimes, when you spill lemons 
from your grocery bag, someone else will help you 
pick them up. Mostly, we don’t want to harm each other.
We want to be handed our cup of coffee hot, 
and to say thank you to the person handing it. To smile 
at them and for them to smile back. For the waitress 
to call us honey when she sets down the bowl of clam chowder, 
and for the driver in the red pick-up truck to let us pass.
We have so little of each other, now. So far 
from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange. 
What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these 
fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here,
have my seat,” “Go ahead—you first,” “I like your hat.”

In the Looking

This week I'll be using the Tarot de St. Croix, created and self-published by Lisa de St. Croix. Along with it, I'll be drawing from the Archetype Cards, created by Caroline Myss and published by Hay House. Today's cards are Death and God:

I can recall that even as a small child I had allergic reactions to certain forms of reality.

"Distilled Spirits," AA Grapevine, December 1997

          Humans are biologically wired to look for stability and security in order to survive. We don't particularly like change (unless it's pleasant) and we fear anything that upends our life. Like the quote above, we seem to have an allergy to the impermanent nature of reality. When there are endings, we struggle to accept and adapt. Yet the dancing skeleton seems to have realized that there is the potential for good even in the midst of having what we were attached to ripped from our grasp. The God archetype represents a power that aids us and protects us when we feel powerless. In a physical world constantly in flux, is there any surprise that so many gods have been created by mankind? It is normal to want to feel grounded when we feel lost and in limbo. Perhaps for some, God might simply mean being willing to look beyond our ego's preferences, seeing for the first time the wonders and benevolence in our world that we've overlooked.

God is not findable for me. Not like car keys. Maybe God is that which can’t be found. That’s okay, because God is in the looking. —Susan Moon

What Fires Together, Wires Together

From the Urban Tarot, the Hermit; from the Principles to Live By, Contentment:

I think instead [of happiness] we should be working for contentment... an inner sense of fulfillment that's relatively independent of external circumstances. – Andrew Weil 

          Scott's Hermit is shown in the belly of the subway; the spirit form of Cerberus (the three-headed hound from Hell) lurks in the background. The Hermit has come to confront his demons - his habitual thoughts and behavior patterns. Unlike the Hierophant, who is eager to tell you how to act and what to think, the Hermit's assessment is based on an honest personal inventory of his motives and choices. He reminds me of Buddha, who after spending years studying with ascetics, decided to sit and look at his own mind. There he discovered the root of his suffering grew within himself. The good news was that since this was an internal rather than external issue, something could be done about it. Contentment is an inner wealth found in the small joys, wonders, and beauties of each moment, not in some future time and place. Without it, we find ourselves restless, irritable, and filled with an insatiable feeling of deficiency. Yet as Buddha discovered, what fires together, wires together. We can change our thinking by practicing gratitude - not the grocery list of what we're supposed to be grateful for, but what we can touch and see all around us if we pay close attention. 

Muddy Water

From the Urban Tarot, the Eight of Swords; from the Principles to Live By, Patience:

Yet it should be obvious that action without wisdom, without clear awareness of the world as it really is, can never improve anything. Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. 
– Alan Watts  

          Scott's Eight of Swords (given the keyword 'interference') shows a snowy TV screen with swords running through it. The RWS version usually shows a blindfolded person surrounded by swords stuck in the ground. The sad truth is, we are the ones who drove those swords in and caused the problem. It starts when we have a plan and a strategy to get us to our goal. The problem is that there is no wiggle room for unforeseen circumstances or obstacles that meet us on the path. We can't see with clarity because we're stuck on how we envisioned things would be rather than the plate of reality we've been served. Yet Patience reminds us that with calm endurance things often change on their own. But even if the situation changes at a snail's pace, that quiet stillness can often help us see beyond our original plans. As Watts writes: "it could be argued that those who sit quietly and do nothing are making one of the best possible contributions to a world in turmoil." Why? Because making space for ideas beyond our own gives us many more possibilities from which to choose.

First Things First

From the Urban Tarot, the Ten of Wands; from the Principles to Live By, Service:

          At some point, we were fired up about making changes, creating a new way of doing things, or moving toward a goal. But now that enthusiasm has waned with the heavy load of responsibility; our day-to-day actions feel like a slow trudge through knee-deep mud. Because we have set things into motion through the choices we've made, it may feel as if we are handcuffed and imprisoned by the situation. The Service tile (the symbol for the Alzheimer's Association), may seem like a strange companion for this card. Yet before we can successfully ease someone else's suffering, we must learn to tend to our own. It requires us to consider, "What do I need right now?" When we develop genuine compassion for ourselves and learn to practice self-care, we naturally open our heart to the challenges of others. The paradox of selfless service with no expectations is that such service can take us out of our self-orbit and create within us a sense of joy.

By giving ourselves unconditional kindness and comfort while embracing the human experience, difficult as it is, we avoid destructive patterns of fear, negativity, and isolation.

― Kristin Neff

Passion + Discernment

From the Urban Tarot, the Prince (Knight) of Wands; from the Principles to Live By, Discernment:

          This Prince/Knight likes to create a stir, and he has enough energy and enthusiasm to keep it going. Scott's version (a TV journalist) is a bit of a trickster and based on Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Like the jester of the court, you might have some laughs but there is a lot of hard truths in the mix too. It reminds me of Stewart's impassioned plea to Congress for health benefits for the 9/11 first responders who were exposed to so much toxic dust in their efforts to help. He may be a comedian, but he also knows how to get things done. Discernment is the ability to see with clarity, recognizing truth without it being blocked by personal opinion, wishes or emotion. Like this Prince, we all have causes we are passionate about. The hard part is balancing our compassion with the wisdom of discernment so that we can be effective.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices. ~William James

In memory of the innocent and brave lives lost.

Sacrifice, Acceptance, Evolution

From the Urban Tarot, the Seven of Wands; from the Principles to Live By, Acceptance:

A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.

~Joseph Campbell 

          The keyword for the Seven of Wands is valor, meaning boldness and determination even in the face of great danger. I agree with Campbell that it requires sacrifice and selflessness for a cause larger than one's ego. What is worthy of such a stand, especially among overwhelming odds? Justice, equality, protection of the unprotected, and basic kindness are the qualities that come to mind. Yet the tile of Acceptance reminds me how differently others might define who is worthy of what. This principle involves being receptive to reality without feeling uniquely targeted by it. Focusing on a group who is against my cause and labeling them the enemy will only distract me from what is important. As Nathaniel Branden explains, "Accepting does not necessarily mean liking, enjoying, condoning. I can accept what is - and be determined to evolve from there."

The Road to Hell

From the Urban Tarot, the Ten of Swords; from the Principles to Live By, Trustworthiness:

          No one sets out to become an addict. It often begins by simply looking for a solution for stress and anxiety with a few drinks and later adding a few pills. For some of us, those moments of bliss and relief get superglued in the mind as a sane choice to relieve our suffering. No matter the consequences, that belief sticks. One blind belief is soon buried under dozens more; they keep the illusion alive that we are coping well with life. But eventually, life hits back so hard we can't get up again. Being at rock bottom often allows a sliver of sanity to appear, realizing that our ideas, choices, and actions are what brought us low as we recognize the fantasy of control. Here can be the first step in a steep climb back to clarity. Arrogant people with rigid belief systems (not just substance abusers) can create conflict and chaos wherever they go. It's no wonder that Trustworthiness makes an appearance. People climbing out of dark holes often get peeved because others don't give an inch, as they've been trained not to expect openness and integrity. Like the gold star on a school paper, it must be earned with actions rather than words.

Hell is paved with good intentions. – Samuel Johnson 

Owning What's Mine

This week I'll be using the Urban Tarot, a deck and book set created and self-published by Robin Scott (now published by U.S. Games). I'll be pairing it with an oracle I created called "Principles to Live By." Today's draws are the Five of Cups and Honesty:

          This scene eerily replays one when I was six created by my stepfather (though we didn't have nice china or a cabinet). We were poor, maggots were found in our food, and he went ballistic. We lived in a shithole at the time, so such disgusting discoveries were par for the course. Scott assigns this card the keyword 'disappointment,' which she rightly describes as a raw mixture of anger, grief, and fear. The Honesty tile suggests being genuine and truthful, which includes telling ourselves the truth as well. Like the lotus bud that has opened up completely to the sunlight, I must stop compartmentalizing my thoughts and actions and look at all of them as a whole. As Bhikkhu Analayo stated, "the first step to developing accurate self-awareness is honest acknowledgment of the existence of hidden emotions, motives and tendencies in the mind without immediately suppressing them." Whatever the situation, if I don't own my own stuff, I won't move forward and I'll be unable to see that not everything is broken.

Disentanglement

From the Gill Tarot, the Eight of Cups; from The Circle, Completion:

Take another little piece of my heart now, baby

Break another little bit of my heart now, darling

~Janis Joplin

          On a cracked and crumbling clay wall, goblets begin to spill out their contents. Gill describes the sea below as made of mercury, a good analogy for how our emotions can run hot or cold. But I am unlike Joplin today; I am unwilling to put myself in a situation where such emotional, toxic mercury can splash over me again and again. There comes a time when it is smart and healthy to remove myself from a relationship, whether it is family, friend, partner or coworker. It would be easy to read the Completion card as a successful escape, but from a spiritual point of view, it likely means allowing the distance to give us a larger, more objective view of the situation without getting entangled again.

You can see neurosis from below - as a sickness - as most psychiatrists see it. Or you can understand it as a compassionate man might: respecting the neurosis as a fumbling and inefficient effort toward good ends. ~Abraham Maslow

Finding the Pearl

From the Gill Tarot, the Fool; from The Circle, Nurture:

Why then the world's mine oyster,

Which I with sword will open.

~ William Shakespeare

          Shakespeare's quote popped into my head this morning when I saw this fellow gleefully walking off the edge of a cliff with a globe in his hands. Oysters can supply nourishment and on rare occasions a pearl, but it takes a little digging to get them open. With all the positivity fueling this free spirit, he would likely consider any effort just an adventure. It seems to take much more work to be an optimist than a pessimist these days. Primarily, I must look beyond my personal concerns and search out what is beautiful, awe-inspiring and heart-warming. It's there if I'm willing to dig it out. The Nurture card reminds me this attitude can develop further if I care for it by nourishing it with good rather than toxic things. My husband and I are heading to the four-year-old's preschool this morning for Grandparent's Day. That should be a hoot and a help.