Feel Without Fixing

From the Tarot of the Secret Forest, the Queen of Swords; from the Faeries' Oracle, the Singer of Healing:

The detached observer's view is one window on the world.     

~Kenneth L. Pike

          This unusual Queen of Swords covers her face with her hands. She may be a parent, therapist, 12 Step sponsor, or simply a friend who has tried to pull back the curtain of fantasy and delusion for someone and present an objective view of reality. But there are people who, no matter how much suffering they endure, hold on to their illusions and refuse to change their mind or behavior. This queen performs a ritual of detachment, letting go of the need to feel responsible for their decisions and their happiness. The Singer of Healing would suggest she avoid tossing them away like an amputated, necrotic limb. Rather than armoring her heart against hurt, it would beneficial to heed the words of Lama Palden Drolma: "The gateway to compassion and lovingkindness is to be able to feel our own pain, and the pain of others. If we are able to open in this way, our hearts can melt, and the healing salve of compassion can anoint all our wounds." We can feel without trying to fix. 

Briars and Bandaids

This week I'll be using Tarot of the Secret Forest, created by Lucia Mattioli and published by Lo Scarabeo. I'll also be drawing from the Faeries' Oracle created by Brian Froud with text by Jessica Macbeth; it was published by Simon & Schuster. Today's cards are the Eight of Swords and the Bright Mother:

          We all find ourselves in the briar patch eventually; sometimes it's our own choices that get us there, and sometimes it's just the unexpected twists and turns of life. But how I meet my situation - my relationship with it - will determine whether or not I manage to extricate myself. If I sit around wringing my hands and conclude the sky is falling, those thorns will just grow in more snugly. But if I take the Brer Rabbit approach, remembering I've been given a mind that is geared to come up with some solutions or options, I can eventually nibble my way clear. The Bright Mother suggests a combination of creativity and compassion. While I'm busy disentangling myself using a variety of tactics, I must not forget to practice some self-care along the way. Bandaids, both literal and metaphorical, can be beneficial when I get pricked too hard.

Viewing slips as simple alerts that our willpower is fatigued and needs to recover (instead as indications of failure) will allow us to acknowledge the lapse without getting further off track.

― Guy Winch

Different isn't Evil

 From the Swietlistej Drogi Tarot, the King of Swords; from the Mirrors of the Heart, Uniqueness:

          This king is honest and thoughtful; he doesn't make any decision or answer anything impulsively. The tip of his sword rests on the ground, implying that he channels everything through the filter of facts, evidence, and experience. While he will acknowledge that an individual can have a particular encounter in a particular situation, he's not willing to take a wide brush and generalize that to everyone. The Uniqueness card is a reminder that just because someone is different or unusual, it doesn't make them bad or wrong. In the words of Maya Angelou, "It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength."

Setting Boundaries

 From the Swietlistej Drogi Tarot, the Eight of Pentacles; from the Mirrors of the Heart, Voice:

Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives. ~William A. Foster

          I imagine this woman as a quality-control worker; she checks the raw product before allowing it to go any further. Like the photographer who looks at shots before printing, or the gem buyer who looks for certain features, she must learn how to be discriminating. Voice shows an expression that comes from the depths within. It is a way to stand up for ourselves, whether it's to the dentist who treats patients as if he were resoling a shoe or the coworker who makes inappropriate remarks. Like the quality-control worker, we learn how to discern what is appropriate and what is not. They might not want to listen, but we have the right to speak our truth about our experience and set boundaries for behavior.

No One Is Coming

 From the Sweitlistej Drogi Tarot, the Chariot; from the Mirrors of the Heart, Home:

Girls like us, we have to save ourselves. Nobody else will get you home.

― Christina Henry

          No one is coming to save me. It's not that they wouldn't if they could. Most people are already carrying around a huge psychological weight of their own. The Dark Box often leads to self-absorption, so it's easy to misinterpret what appears as a lack of concern in others when in reality it's all they can do to stay on their feet themselves. The Chariot encourages and prods: "Get started, with whatever resources you have and wherever you are at the moment. Just move." Others may offer advice, but I'm the one that must make the effort. Do what is necessary, then do something different, just for today. Then tomorrow, start again. Home symbolizes a refuge; one of the greatest havens and supports I can create is in my mind. Rather than positive thinking, neuropsychologist Rick Hanson advocates for positive neuroplasticity: pausing to really pay attention to any small, good experience and enjoying it fully to develop inner strength. Later, it can be brought to mind and relived. Time to get moving.

Resting with the Wild Things

From the Swietlistej Drogi Tarot, the Empress; from the Mirrors of the Heart, Nourishment:

          In the middle of a pandemic, where does one go to find nurturing and nourishment, especially when humanity's empathy meter has shorted out? The words of Wendell Berry offer some direction:

When despair for the world grows in me

and I wake in the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things

who do not tax their lives with forethought

of grief. I come into the presence of still water.

And I feel above me the day-blind stars

waiting with their light. For a time

I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

"The Peace of Wild Things" 

 

Practiced Power

 From the Swietlistej Drogi Tarot, the Ace of Swords; from the Mirrors of the Heart, Wholeness:

          The Ace of Wands is illustrated with a teacher (or perhaps scientist), reminding me that knowledge is power. However, it is a power that can fade quickly. If it isn't put into consistent practice, competency won't develop. Waiting until a crisis is not the time to open a toolbox full of instruments never before touched. Wholeness suggests that when it is time to apply the tools, they should be done in an integrated way. The best solutions are those that see the whole system, not just the part affected. Cutting a dying limb off a tree won't help if the roots are not receiving the right amount of nourishment.

Connectedness. One thing leads to another. Often in unexpected ways.

― Holly Goldberg Sloan

Mosquito Bite

From the Swietlistej Drogi Tarot, the Five of Pentacles; from the Mirrors of the Heart, Steadfastness:

          This unusual Five of Pentacles shows a woman leaving behind her treasures rather than desperately seeking them. Who on earth would be willing to give up the things that seemingly make their life stable and secure? People who are depressed and suicidal. I surprised myself by googling 'reasons I should stay alive' last night. I guess I didn't realize how easy it is to slide into the dark and yearn for something lighter. Yet I also remember the words of Sean Dietrich: "The weird thing about depression is that it’s like a mosquito bite that infects you with yellow fever. On the surface it’s a little swollen area. No big deal. It’s just a tiny bite. Suck it up cupcake. But underneath the skin it’s Hiroshima. And yellow fever doesn’t just go away until it’s done some damage." The sturdy dolmen on the Steadfastness card encourages me to ground myself and hang in there. Part of Sean's advice includes to tell someone, say out loud what you feel. Words have power; those left unspoken can fester but those expressed can act as a medicine.

Just One Square in the Quilt

This week I'll be using the Swietlistej Drogi Tarot (Tarot of the Radiant Path), created by Alla Alicja Chrzanowska and published by Studio Astropsychologii. I'll also be drawing from the oracle Mirrors of the Heart, created and self-published by Lily S. May. Today's draws are the Six of Wands and Truthfulness:

          In front of a cozy fireplace (with lots of extra wood to burn), a family sits around a table enjoying each other's company. After the battle, the project, or some natural chaos, life has simplified and stability has returned. There may not be any fanfare, but there's plenty of gratitude for what has been accomplished or come to an end. The faceted diamond depicted in Truthfulness is a reminder that a half-truth is not the whole truth. For instance, someone might declare that he didn't character assassinate a co-worker, yet in reality, he certainly trashed the rest of her family. To shine the light on just one facet is not lighting up the whole gem. In the same way, the family above might enjoy the lull in what had been a stressful ordeal, but they know better than to believe life will be uninterrupted bliss from here on out. 

Every season has its peaks and valleys. What you have to try to do is eliminate the Grand Canyon. 

― Andy Van Slyke

 

Madness or Mission

From the Tarocchi Celtici, the Knight of Fire (Wands); from the Art of Asia Oracle, "Eagle Over 100,000 Acre Plain at Susaki, Fukagawa" by Hiroshige:

          The fiery nature of this knight can be seen in her companion - a scarlet kingsnake (nonpoisonous, but known to eat rodents, skinks, and poisonous snakes) as well as the emblem of a wild boar (known for its ferocity). The Knight of Wands would equally be at home at a Burning Man gathering or in a march for human rights. The downside is the impulsiveness of this knight; once on a trajectory, he or she continues until they get bored rather than achieving an outcome. The Eagle's associated quote by Robert G. Ingersoll calls for discernment even while being an enthusiastic nonconformist: "A freethinker is an eagle parting the clouds with tireless wing."

You have to quit confusing a madness with a mission.

― Flannery O'Connor

Uncorking the Bottle

From the Tarocchi Celtici, the Queen of Water (Cups); from the Art of Asia Oracle, "Octopus and Fish" by Ito Jakuchu:

          This shy but wise Queen of Water with seashells in her hair has sent her frog hopping. She knows that inner healing and harmony (the ogham Ngetal and Reed) won't happen if emotions are bottled up and sat on. Stuffed-down anger may appear as depression and hidden depression can leak out as anger. Yet the Octopus painting offers a warning in the words of H. Jackson Brown, Jr.: "Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backwards, or sideways." Letting out suppressed emotions must be done carefully. Many years ago, one therapist had me beat a pillow with a bat. While it did bring up a lot of rage, it just made me want to use that bat on some other people. After having a go at kickboxing with a freestanding bag, I discovered violence does not heal violence. Yoga, Tai Chi, and walks in natural settings were a much better way to find my emotional balance.

Broken Bridges

From the Tarocchi Celtici, the Five of Water (Cups); from the Art of Asia Oracle, "Flowering Cherry with Poem Slips" by Tosa Mitsuoki:

          The bridge overhead in this Five of Cups card has been broken; it likely represents the relationship between the water nymph and the frog. Perhaps he ate one of her friends? I once was involved with a fellow who I discovered was racist (he had up to that point presented himself differently). Being a twenty-something at the time, I'm sure I threw several things at his head and stomped off never to return. It's hard when you realize someone you've begun to care about it is not who they've pretended to be. But as the symbolism of Alder (defense) and Fearn (protection) imply, sometimes we have to look after ourselves. The verse for the painting of the poem tree is by Ikkyu: "Look at the cherry blossoms! Their color and scent fall with them, are gone forever; yet mindless the spring comes again." It's hard to let go of what we thought was going to be beautiful, but our trips around the sun will bring other opportunities.

Take a Sip

From the Tarocchi Celtici, the Four of Water (Cups); from the Art of Asia Oracle, "Old Man and Child" by Fan Zeng:

          After experiencing an emotional onslaught, we may need a period to rebalance and regain our equilibrium. Though we seek a period of retreat, sometimes solitude can turn into isolation. Our mind then begins to spin stories, telling our heart that no one cares, so why should we? The fence we built around ourselves for peace and reflection becomes an island of discontent. Though the bowl is cracked in the Four of Cups, the nymph offers water from a small gourd. Like the symbolism of the ash tree and ogham nion/nuin, the water represents a gift of purpose and connection. The quote for the "Old Man and Child" painting comes from Thoreau: "None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm." This elder knows that joy and laughter are contagious; if he doesn't have any to spare, he'll hang out with someone who does.

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.

― Mark Twain

Overwhelmed

From the Tarocchi Celtici, the Ten of Fire (Wands); from the Art of Asia Oracle, "Maple Tree and Small Birds" by Ito Jakuchu:

The overwhelmed mind underestimates the scale of a human life and therefore over-calculates the ultimate importance of any particular problem. Don’t be fooled.

— David Cain

          These salamander elves look burned out, a sure sign the Ten of Wands is being carried on their backs. The mirror, a spiritual symbol of awareness and truth, lies face down on the ground under the feet of one elf. Another holds a neck torc, a symbol of power, but she does not wear it. When our energy is constantly channeled in many directions, whether by choice or obligation, the feeling of overwhelmed exhaustion is not far behind. After a while, it's easy to believe we are powerless over our lives and that we couldn't find our way out of a paper bag. The quote assigned to Jakuchu's painting was written by John Burroughs: "How beautifully the leaves grow old! They are giving back the light they have been absorbing from the sun all summer." Perhaps these elves could pause for a few minutes a look for what is beautiful around them and see how it is the nature of things to change. But until change comes, maybe they will realize that self-care is as important as any other priority.

Simmer, Don't Boil

From the Tarocchi Celtici, the Queen of Fire (Wands); from the Art of Asia Oracle, "Breeze at Riverside" by Takahashi Shotei:

          This salamander elf literally burns with enthusiasm. The stone eagle artifact and the owl, suggest she is a leader with integrity and wisdom. The Celtic dancer relic emphasizes her need to express her passion creatively. The reed and the ogham ngetal are symbolic of healing and harmony; with her tendency to nurture through encouragement, this queen can accomplish both. Yet the "Breeze at Riverside" is a caution not to burn herself out. As Alan Cohen wrote, "There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither." Even the most passionate personality can stand a little flexibility in their routine.

Emotional Fires

This week I'll be using the Tarocchi Celtici, created by Laura Tuan and published by De Vecchi Italia. Paired with it will be the Art of Asia, an oracle I created for my personal use. Today's draws are the Eight of Water (Cups) and "Old Buddhist Monk" by Kim Hong-do:

          The forest seems to be on fire, which would necessitate evacuation for beings that can move. Likewise, the Eight of Cups represents leaving a situation that is emotionally unbalanced or unhealthy. Tuan has added two illustrations of votive artifacts: a gold boat found in N. Ireland that was likely offered to the Celtic sea god Manannán mac Lir and the other a wooden statue found at the springs of the Seine that was probably an offering to the Celtic goddess Sequanna. The god was said to have a self-directed boat, and the springs of Sequanna were known as a place of healing. The oak and ogham (duir) associated with this card are symbolic of stability and strength; along with healing and direction, they are often what an emotionally battered seeker hopes to find.  The painting of the monk is paired with a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh: "Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky." When the emotional fire no longer has any fuel, it will burn itself out. 

Prove It

 From the Spiral Tarot, the Five of Wands; from the Sacred Journey Cards, Fertilize:

          In this battle of how to do things, everyone holds a wand with some leafy sprouts. This suggests that there may be some validity to each person's opinion. The companion booklet states that this is a 'prove your point' opportunity. Charisma, intimidation, and manipulation can only carry so far, but the evidence of facts and research will likely weigh heavier in the end. Fertilize implies that proving a point is only the beginning step. Soil must be tilled, seeds planted and cultivated, and the crop fertilized. Winning doesn't mean a thing unless it is backed up with effort and action that produces results.

People almost invariably arrive at their beliefs not on the basis of proof but on the basis of what they find attractive. ― Blaise Pascal

No 'Us and Them'

 From the Spiral Tarot, Judgment; from the Sacred Journey Cards, Perseverance:

          Judgment asks us to wake up, to hear the call to service, benefiting someone other than just ourselves. We are in the middle of a five-alarm fire, asking us to climb out of our cozy cocoons and see that the world isn't equal or just for everyone. Kindness or hatred has been doled out according to what tribe you represent. But we have an opportunity now to recognize that we're all on this little blue marble together, dependent and interconnected. There is no 'us and them,' only 'us.' It's time to act like it. Perseverance is a reminder that a commitment requires a worthy cause, not an egoic one. If we are fighting only for the good of ourselves, that battle will be brief. But when we include the well-being of all others, we have a source of fuel and support that will keep us going.

24 Hours

 From the Spiral Tarot, the Sun; from the Sacred Journey Cards, Grace:

          The goddess of the dawn (Aurora/Eos) illustrates this Sun card. Darkness gives way to light, warmth, and the nudge to grow. A new day is a chance at a do-over, offering the possibility to test out new ideas and choose new actions. As Stedman Graham stated, "Everybody has 24 hours and the question is, what do you do with your 24 hours? That's what makes everybody equal." Grace is the unanticipated arrival of a moment that takes the past and the future out of the equation. There is a feeling of acceptance and gratitude, as well as a peaceful realization that no matter how things pan out, we'll stay grounded enough to muddle through. But most importantly, grace allows us to feel beloved and held by the universe, subject to its laws but also a recipient of its beauty and joy. So, beloved one, what will you do with this new day?

Climbing or Staying Put

 From the Spiral Tarot, the Two of Wands; from the Sacred Journey Cards, Change:

          Whether to be content or to expand our horizons, to go it alone or form a partnership - these are the types of questions created by the restlessness of the Two of Wands. Perhaps he should ask himself, "Do I have a workable vision of something better and more beneficial?" Fear or the need for an adrenaline rush may not be a wise motivation. The Change card suggests that a new choice may be a good one if it helps us develop and grow, rather than just grasping for instant gratification. As the saying goes, "You can't float down a river to get to the top of the mountain." 

Now is not Then

 From the Spiral Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the Sacred Journey Cards, Courage:

The fact that we don’t know—that nothing is certain and we therefore can’t hold on to anything—can evoke fear and depression, but it can also evoke a sense of wonder, curiosity, and freedom. Some of our best moments come when we haven’t yet decided what will happen next.

—Elizabeth Mattis Namgyel

          A man and woman look at the past, represented by a sepia photograph. Not all their cups are standing, suggesting that some of the past wasn't a time to be fondly remembered. It may in fact be something that haunts them in the present. Courage suggests that while the past may be useful to learn from, it doesn't have to ride around on our shoulders. Certain conditions and circumstances brought about that experience, and though something in the present may show a slight resemblance, it doesn't mean we'll be repeating it. Step forward with eyes wide open, watching each moment unfold instead.

Feeling not Feeding

 From the Spiral Tarot, the Queen of Cups; from the Spiral Journey Cards, Believe:

          No matter how stoic someone might try to appear, they might as well be an open book when it comes to the Queen of Cups reading their feelings. She advises: "You don't have to feed your feelings, but you do need to feel them." For those of us brought up to hide any signs of vulnerability, this may be a tall order. However, the Believe card encourages us not to rigidly hold onto our ideas but to make space for other possibilities. I was on Zoom with some friends last night and we were discussing koans (koe-ahns), a tool that can shake us loose from our normal biases so that we see from a larger perspective. Koans don't offer a solution but a way to see a situation from other angles. I think the Queen would appreciate some personal ones we talked about using: "Perhaps there is a better way;" "Are you sure?;" "Thinking it doesn't require believing it."  

Weeding the Mind

 This week I'll be using the Spiral Tarot, a book and deck set created by Kay Steventon and published by U.S. Games. I'll also be drawing from the Sacred Journey Cards, a set created by Cheryl Thiele and published by Pomegranate. Today's draws are the Seven of Cups and Reflection:

          A woman stands in the rain while a foggy mist keeps her from clearly seeing the seven cups around her. She must make a choice, but what will bring fulfillment? The mist represents the way our mind is shaped by past information and experiences, which in turn leads to expectations and assumptions. The Reflection card suggests that when we drag along old mental file cabinets into new situations, we see only what's in those files, not what's in front of us. If we expect to find good, we do; if we expect to find bad, we will. But if we go in with an open mind and heart - with curiosity - we might just see what is actually there.

When people will not weed their own minds, they are apt to be overrun by nettles. ― Horace Walpole

Perching or Flying

 From the Prisma Visions Tarot, the Fool; from The Secret Language of Color Cards, Amber:

A pelican sits on a pylon, ready to take flight into the unknown. The Fool represents an abundance of optimism and trust, idealism which later gets tempered with the experience of hardships. Still, that type of enthusiasm and confidence is what gets us off our comfy perches, risking a leap into the unknown. Amber is associated with awakening creativity. The resin of the same name often traps animals and plants in it, creating a fossil of what existed many years ago. If right at this moment we became fossilized, would we later be discovered simply sitting on our perch or doing something we loved, something that brought us fulfillment?

Tipping Things Over

 From the Prisma Visions Tarot, the Five of Cups; from The Secret Language of Color Cards, Chocolate:

A young man nearly falls off a precipice as he releases three cups. That is how it often feels emotionally when we must let go of something or someone that has been a familiar constant in our lives. Yet it is better to let go of pain and allow for possibility. That cycle of emotional suffering never changes unless someone does something different. Chocolate symbolizes nourishment, not of the body necessarily, but of the spirit. It's not self-indulgence or self-pity we need during these times, but self-care and compassion.