Waiting for Us

From the Urban Tarot, the Queen of Disks; from the Principles to Live By tiles, Acceptance:

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.

—Joseph Campbell

Scott describes the Queen of Disks as the emotional center in the material realm. Like her husband, she appreciates what is tangible - her home, food, beautiful things and financial security. Yet because of her watery aspect, she also recognizes the resources she has in people, including family, friends, acquaintances and even strangers. How often has someone gotten a job because they knew someone who could speak up for them? Acceptance is being receptive to reality without fighting what cannot be changed. Many of us might think we don't have the perfect family or are a part of an unpopular social group, but wouldn't some of them help us in a crisis or support us when an opportunity opens? We may need to look at our connections from a wider perspective. 

Raising a Glass

From the Urban Tarot, the Three of Cups; from the Principles to Live By oracle, Acceptance:

We were together. I forget the rest. ― Walt Whitman

          The Three of Cups represents the abundance of joy found in camaraderie. I've found old pictures that showed celebrations that reminded of that feeling found in togetherness. Like Whitman, the details might be fuzzy, but I remember the delight and fun. While those events might be far in the past, Cynthia Rowley reminds me that "There's always an excuse to celebrate someone you love." Acceptance shows an open palm, suggesting a willingness to be receptive to what is. As I get older, many of the holidays, birthdays and anniversaries I would like to celebrate are missing the honoree. Father's Day was a good example; my second step-dad had a big heart and readily welcomed me and my family under his umbrella. Even though he's been gone many years now, I decided I could hold a personal observance in his honor. It warmed my heart and filled it with gratitude, just as if he were still here. Raising a glass to you, Papa Paul.

Sacrifice, Acceptance, Evolution

From the Urban Tarot, the Seven of Wands; from the Principles to Live By, Acceptance:

A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.

~Joseph Campbell 

          The keyword for the Seven of Wands is valor, meaning boldness and determination even in the face of great danger. I agree with Campbell that it requires sacrifice and selflessness for a cause larger than one's ego. What is worthy of such a stand, especially among overwhelming odds? Justice, equality, protection of the unprotected, and basic kindness are the qualities that come to mind. Yet the tile of Acceptance reminds me how differently others might define who is worthy of what. This principle involves being receptive to reality without feeling uniquely targeted by it. Focusing on a group who is against my cause and labeling them the enemy will only distract me from what is important. As Nathaniel Branden explains, "Accepting does not necessarily mean liking, enjoying, condoning. I can accept what is - and be determined to evolve from there."

Heartfelt Wishes

From Waking the Wild Spirit Tarot, the Wishing Well (Three of Water/Cups); from the MentorSpirit Cards, Acceptance:

           An elven lass with her animal friends make wishes as they toss coins into a well. Behind her is a "clootie," a piece of cloth dipped in the well water and tied to a branch as a type of prayer. While I don't believe in a deity that physically intercedes on earth, I still express heartfelt thoughts in meditation form (like tonglen and maitri/metta) for others. It is a way for me to keep my heart open and stay connected with people who are suffering. Friends are great not only for celebrating with, but for leaning on when life gets hard. I've had a couple of scary incidents involving family members the last few days, and knowing someone is sending out such wishes for us gives me strength to keep going.
          To be accepting is to be receptive of “what is” without feeling uniquely targeted. As Nathaniel Branden put it, "Accepting does not necessarily mean liking, enjoying, condoning. I can accept what is - and be determined to evolve from there. It is not acceptance but denial that leaves me stuck." Isolating myself, sticking my head in the ground or becoming self-absorbed won't make anything better, especially not for those who are suffering (including myself). But even if I can't change the way things are, I can stand firmly without running away and offer my support to those who are in the midst of challenges.

Full Stop

From the Legacy of the Divine Tarot, the Four of Swords; from Steps to Serenity, "Acceptance:"

          I have to admit for the past two weeks, as the darkness comes, I watch the clock with anticipation. I've been ready for bedtime long before it arrived. With the holiday now past and my back on the mend, this seems an appropriate card. Nonstop thought chatter, a tidal wave of emotions and physical aches have taken a toll. Rest for the body and mind is in order. The bird flying over the sleeping man holds a red and white poppy; the flowers suggest energy and clarity will return if I take time to recuperate. No project should be more important than downtime right now.
          I can just imagine this little ladybug standing on the edge of her leaf shouting, "As bug-god is my witness, I will find a way to make this rain stop! I will hunt aphids once again!" That's me alright; I love a good problem to solve, a challenge to conquer or a question to answer. But sometimes there are no solutions and no routes around an obstacle. All my thinking and strategizing will net me is a big, fat zero. As long as I keep arguing with reality, I'll keep suffering. Like the fellow in the tarot card, sometimes you have to lay down your swords and let things be.

My New Friend, Reality

From the Legacy of the Divine, the Four of Cups:

“As long as you have certain desires about how it ought to be you can't see how it is.” ~ Ram Dass

This card is a slight twist to most Four of Cups; instead of ignoring the cups around him, he's focused solely on one.  Lately I've felt like I'm walking around with no skin  on - raw and exposed. Like this guy, I've been trying not to notice those other cups because they are filled with things that are frightening. They are the emotional monsters that wake me up in the middle of the night, cause my heart to pound and breathing to constrict. Of course this game I'm playing is a bit like Whac-a-Mole, as the fear never really goes away. The only solution I've found so far are my daily, early morning walks. Each footstep seems to chant Ram Dass's mantra, "Be here now."

“I am a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.” ~ Byron Katie

People new to the philosophy of 12 Step programs generally think of giving up when the topic of acceptance is raised. But what it actually involves is seeing with clarity what can and can't be controlled in my life. If I can do something I do it; if not, I don't. I heard a woman the other day use the phrase "snuggle instead of struggle." Of course my initial thought when I heard that was not a polite one, but sometimes you hear what you need instead of what want. It's time to cease fighting and wrestling with reality and instead get to know it a little better.