The Soft Spot

From the Ship of Fools Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the Wisdom of the Four Winds, Moss:

Care is a state in which something does matter; it is the source of human tenderness. 

—Rollo May

Have you ever been watching a younger generation at play and fondly thought, "I remember when..." This fool, meeting the young boy on his hobby horse, is likely having the same thoughts. Such moments are important; in a harsh world, we need to be reminded that our hearts can still be tender. Moss, with its beauty and cushiony softness reminds us that we need to nurture this quality. We cultivate the softness of our hearts so that we don't lose our empathy and goodwill. As Robert Frost wrote, "There never was any heart truly great and generous, that was not also tender and compassionate."

Digging Up the Root

From the Waking the Wild Spirit, the Six of Water; from the Saltwater Reading Cards, Rough Seas:

It takes radical honesty and a good dose of self-compassion to recognize a repetitive pattern.

—Monika Walankiewicz

Rather than a nostalgic look back, Poppy invites us to look within at what maintains our habitual patterns. At some point in our life, we learned behaviors and beliefs which influence our relationships. Yet here is an opportunity to find those roots and question their validity and efficacy. Have we been operating from false or tainted information (including our inner dialogue)? Rough Seas indicates this investigation may feel powerful, disruptive and overwhelming. What is familiar doesn't like to be uprooted for something new. But with honesty and self-compassion, rather than denial and shame, we can begin to grow some new, healthier roots.

Moments Big As Years

From the Light Seer's Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the Tapestry Oracle, Congregation:

We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams. ―Jeremy Irons

This card made my heart squeeze a little, remembering our sweet Auggie Doggie who adopted us. She could climb a fence like a cat, and decided our house was now her house. Good memories are good medicine as long as we don't get stuck in them. They help us exit negative thinking and can aid in increasing our sense of well-being. Congregation offers us present-day medicine. Being a part of a group, knowing that someone has our back and is there to celebrate our achievements, is beneficial in experiencing the joys and challenges of life. Whether pets or people, we are social animals.

As we've gotten older, we seem to just collect stray cats rather than dogs. Our latest addition is Tadpole, who came to us starving (weighing only a few ounces), blind in one eye, and making noises like a spring peeper because of a respiratory infection. He's now about 13 lbs. and is walked daily on a leash in the yard because he's so full of energy. He's outgrown his name, so we just call him Taddy Boy.

Remembrance

From the Dark Mansion, the Six of Cups; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Buckle:

Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.

― Jane Austen

Resentment and nostalgia are two very different kinds of remembrance with very dissimilar impacts on our physical and mental health. The Six of Cups and Buckle ("holding things together") made me think of psychologist Rick Hanson who is a proponent of relishing good memories: "Taking in the good is not about putting a happy shiny face on everything, nor is it about turning away from the hard things in life. It's about nourishing well-being, contentment, and peace inside that are refuges you can always come from and return to." According to Hanson, mentally staying with those positive experiences for a bit can turn a passing mental state into a lasting neural structure. We build our memories into a harbor of resilience.

Moving Forward

From the RainShadow Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the Liminal Spirits Oracle, Snail:

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days. 

―Doug Larson

Mack ties the Six of Cups to nostalgia, a wistful affection for the past. Studies have found that sunny recollections of times past can contribute to comfort, mental health and self-esteem. However, nostalgia has also been used as a political tool: by invoking the idea of an idealized past, politicians can provoke anxiety and uncertainty while promising to bring back the good old days. Snail appears to tell us to slow down when such promises are heaped upon us. Nostalgia can be deceptively comforting, leaving out the pain and darkness - the olden days weren't all good or happy. Plus, the world has changed drastically over the years; there is no going back to the way things were, only moving forward in the best way we can find.

New Doors

From the Shadowlands Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the Brownie Wisdom deck, "Early Train:"

Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future. 

―Corrie ten Boom

George Foreman once said that learning to enjoy today has two benefits, it gives us happiness now and becomes a good memory later. Ten Boom suggests the important part our memories can play beyond nostalgia - by being a key to our future. I find that as I age, it seems easier to slip into blue funks. Memories of good times past remind me how to move forward: gathering with friends, visiting family, or taking a risk and opening my heart to someone new. The Brownie card warns us not to procrastinate when we get into such a state. We need to use the keys we have to open new doors.

Distant Friends

From the Wayfarer Tarot, the Six of Water; from the Curious Oracle, Prayer Wheel:

Sweet is the memory of distant friends. Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart. ~Washington Irving

This fellow is on the Bridge of Looking Back, remembering a childhood friend with much fondness. I had a such a companion in Mary Jane; she and her family saved the most tender part of my young heart with their kindness. I wish I knew how to contact her and let her know how vital and cherished our friendship was for me. The Prayer Wheel is a unique technology of devotion, with a cylinder full of sacred mantras that are “read” when spun. It was a way to multiply the prayers of well-being, sending them out to all. It reminds me to send out some good thoughts and prayers to my childhood friend. No one gets to our age without having their hearts dented, and so my wish is that the tender part of her heart will be protected as mine was. 

Conditioning

From the Wild Unknown Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the Pictish Oracle, Cauldron:

A lot of times you're just conditioned by what's around you. 

―Ruben Blades

Not just our genetics have shaped us. Like the seed that is planted - getting or not getting enough sun, water and nutrients - we too are shaped by our experiences and environment. We may learn that anger is okay but showing fear is not, or that kindness should be shared unconditionally. Like the potter's hands that mold the clay, we become conditioned to relate to life in certain ways. Yet all conditioned things are impermanent and changeable, as the Cauldron implies. Though we have incorporated certain emotional patterns, we can also learn and practice new ones. We don't have to cook up the same pot of stew every day. 

Inner Well-Being

From the Tarot of Mystical Moments, the Six of Cups; from the Inner Eye Oracle, Commitment:

One of the best ways to make yourself happy in the present is to recall happy times from the past. 

―Gretchen Rubin

It's funny how certain smells or sights can trigger a memory. Scientists now know that the brain uses a space-saving technique when storing memories - only key features are stored, not all the details. When retrieved, the brain uses its simulating capacities to make the memory seem whole. This rebuilding process allows us to shift our interior emotional landscape. Other things that are in our mind at the same time - particularly if they are pleasant or unpleasant - will shape the memory. As psychologist Rick Hanson explains, "every time you sift positive feelings and views into painful, limiting states of mind, you build a little bit of neural structure. Over time, the accumulating impact of this positive material will literally, synapse by synapse, change your brain." The Six of Hearts indicates commitment, a decision to sincerely dedicate ourselves to someone or something. What could be more worthy than devoting ourselves to our emotional and mental health?

Shaking Off the Yellow Leaves

From the New Era Elements Tarot, the Six of Water (Cups); from the Tao Oracle, Approach (Hexagram 19):

Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. ― Rumi

In the Thoth system, the Six of Cups/Water is not nostalgia but unbounded joy after a crisis is past. Pieper's card shows children splashing and enjoying the fountain jets at a play park. It reminds me of our community emerging after the pandemic lockdown (we were a Covid hotspot in the nation with limited resources and many deaths). We were cautious at first, but then we were like kids running outside when school breaks for recess. Recovery after such an emotional trial brings a special kind of release and happiness. Approach (hexagram 19) suggests beneficial changes are happening and encourages us to move toward them. While we may drag our feet - being wary of vulnerable - it reassures us that this is a development that we should take advantage of without delay.

Many Filters

This week I'll be using the Forest of Enchantment Tarot, created by Meraylah Allwood (artist) and Lunaea Weatherstone (author) and published by Llewellyn. Paired with it will be the Mushroom Spirit Oracle, created by Nicola McIntosh and published by Rockpool. Today's draws are the Six of Visions (Cups) and Octopus Stinkhorn:

Memory is where we have arrived rather than where we have left. ...In other words, memory is produced over time and under erasure.

― Julia Creet

I see myself in this young girl relishing the escape and enjoyment that reading brings. But my memories of what I read and how it affected me back then are probably not very reliable. As Victoria Chang put it, memory gets up and starts walking when something has passed. But does it matter if those pleasurable memories aren't exact? I don't think so, as long as I don't get stuck wishing for their return and forget to enjoy the present. I'll take joy wherever I can find it. Octopus stinkhorn is also known as devil's fingers; it oozes with a sludge that smells like rotting flesh. It's easy to see how this mushroom could be judged by its appearance and odor. But this stinkhorn is not toxic; its ooze is simply to attract flies in order to distribute its spores. Sometimes memories are not so pleasurable to relive, but they may reveal more about who we are now than our history. In those instances, it may be wise to remember the words of Mandana Chaffa: "There are many filters to our memories: who we are now, who we were when they were formed, the necessarily limited perspectives that each of us have, buffeted by context, environment, and the unreliability of our narration."

Above Water

From the Tarot of the Hidden Realms, the Six of Cups; from the Heart of Faerie Oracle, the Lady of Song:

When we are not submerged in our memories and look at them with a more objective view, they often become more or less than the original version. Maybe it is that maturity and experience gives us other angles from which to see them. We could have a better understanding of why something happened and the mental make-up of the players involved, or we might have an appreciation of an event that we didn't think too much about as a child. The Lady of Song does not sing but listens to the song of the universe, noting how what might at first seem noisy and chaotic has a harmony within it. She knows we are all part of this song. How we choose to integrate our past will affect our present. Acceptance and forgiveness can help us hear the harmony; shame or anger will drown out its sweet song. 

Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future.

~Corrie Ten Boom

Stability at Sea

This week I'll be using the self-published Wayfarer Tarot, created by Stacy Salpietro-Babb with Margaret Shipman. I'll also be drawing from A Curious Oracle, self-published and created by Holly DeFount. Today's draws are Six of Water (Cups) and the Anchor:

 

Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are,

the things you never want to lose. ~Kevin Arnold

Most of us likely remember when we moved away from home, from all those people and places that were familiar. Even those of us who were happy about leaving and being on our own probably experienced a little wistfulness along with our excitement. But memories of the people, places and things we left behind - what we learned and how they shaped us - are the same things that can give us a feeling of stability in our new environment. The Anchor suggests that we don't have to let these things stultify us; we can lift anchor and sail to other waters. But those memory anchors can remind us of our roots, what we've accomplished and overcome. 

No Protection

From the Granny Jones Australian Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the Button Oracle, Eagle:

The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.

― Robert Frost

Like Granny looking through old photo albums, we often relive moments of the past in our mind. But as we get older and grayer, we also find ourselves checking the obituaries and the calendar for doctor appointments. Some of us may feel as if our body is betraying us as we age. Others, upon hearing of a death in their circle, begin to make comments about the person's lack of a healthy diet or exercise, as if that talisman might protect them from a similar fate. It's not that we need to give up taking care of our body and mind, but we do need to accept that we all come to the same end. Eagle represents clarity and a wide perspective: "An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity." (Martin Luther King, Jr.) Moving out of a self-absorbed orbit can help us live out our days with meaning and equanimity.

Not Pure, But Helpful Nonetheless

From the World Spirit Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the Mystic Glyphs, Purity:

Any gathering of friends or family will likely include a "Do you remember" conversation. It turns out there's a good reason investigators want to get a witness statement as soon as possible: Researcher Donna Bridge explains, "Memories aren’t static. If you remember something in the context of a new environment and time, or if you are even in a different mood, your memories might integrate the new information." Every time we remember an event, the memory gets reshaped. Like the circle with the lines running through it, the Purity card indicates that nothing is really pure and whole - especially our memories. But there is a good reason for these adaptations. As psychologist Jeff Zachs clarifies, "Memory isn’t for trying to remember, it’s for doing better the next time." In other words, it's more concerned about what is happening in our life now.

 

Only True Possession

From the Wheel of Change Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the Oracle of the Dreamtime, Ochre:

Rather than fond memories of the past, Genetti's Six of Cups shows broken pottery in a thunderstorm. Some of us had enjoyable childhoods, while the rest of us simply tried to survive them. It's easy to want to blame the past for the way we behave in the present, but the truth is we have a choice to live our lives differently. Any pain and suffering we endured can energize us to step out of old cycles and create new memories. Ochre tells the story of a dingo pup cared for by the tribe who would later save the people from a deadly, giant lizard. The blood shed by the lizard produced red ochre, a symbol of life and bravery. We'll all leave our hand print somewhere in history one day. As the fifth Remembrance states: "My only true possession is my actions."

Becoming an Island

From the Stone Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the Buddhist Quote Cards, a verse from the second chapter of the Dhammapada:

Stone's Six of Cups illustrates the way we integrate past memories into the present. If you speak to anyone for an hour or so, it soon become obvious which memories they carry in their consciousness. Some cups are full of loss and grief, pain and suffering; others are full of joy and wonder, challenges met and insights gained. It's not that we should try to forget the painful ones and only remember the joyful times.  But a negative bias (a function of evolution) can affect our outlook in detrimental ways. It takes effort to relive happy moments, remembering when our hearts were warmly touched, but it helps us to live lightly instead of trudging through life. In fact, it is a practice. As the Dhammapada states:

Through effort, vigilance, restraint, and self-control,

the wise person can become an island no flood will overwhelm. 

Memory Prompts

From the Touchstone Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the John Waterhouse Oracle, Sweet Idleness:

One of the best ways to make yourself happy in the present is to recall happy times from the past. Photos are a great memory-prompt, and because we tend to take photos of happy occasions, they weight our memories to the good. —Gretchen Rubin

Can you think of six happy memories? I imagine going through some old photos might help us remember quite a few. Or even better, we could get together with an old friend and talk about the craziness of our youth. Sweet Idleness, however, offers a caution. Our minds are wired to gravitate towards the negative rather than the positive; it was useful for staying aware of saber tooth tigers, but not so beneficial in today's world for those who suffer from depression or anxiety. Letting our minds drift on their own could steer us to emotional quicksand. So find (or make) a set of photos or other pictures that help shine a light when things get dark.

It Always Rolls Back

This week I'll be using the Somnia Tarot and its companion book, created and self-published by Nicholas Bruno. I'll also be using the Lojong for the Layperson deck, a set of cards based on the 59 Buddhist mind training slogans. Today's draws are the Six of Cups and Slogan 32 (Don't wait in ambush.):

An older family member pours water from the ancestral well into the bucket of a young woman. Instead of just sharing memories, helpful wisdom is offered about how to deal with life on life's terms. Perhaps one lesson contributed might be this lojong slogan: Don't wait in ambush. When we have been hurt in some way, we may seek revenge with the same concentrated focus as the ladybug seeks aphids. We can convince ourselves that retribution is only fair and will teach a lesson to the other person. Meanwhile, resentment locks us in a cycle of misery and any retributive action leads us to worry about a backlash. If history has shown us anything, it's is that acts of revenge never lead to peace. 

Revenge... is like a rolling stone, which, when a man hath forced up a hill, will return upon him with a greater violence, and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion. ~Jeremy Taylor

The Natural Order

From the Gaian Tarot, the Six of Water (Cups); from the Goddess Oracle, The Erinyes:

Several generations unite in this card, a reunion of reconnection and remembrance. During such occasions, we often discover the changes in each other; our mind must play catch up with the way people have aged or have adopted new opinions and beliefs. Do we find it hard to still care about these people we once loved because they are different in ways we don't approve of? The Erinyes were Greek goddesses of vengeance, punishing humans for crimes against the natural order. Change is the natural order of things; to expect otherwise is to create suffering for ourselves. Sean Dietrich wrote, "Nostalgia is a powerful narcotic." No matter how hard we may wish it were so, it is not reality. Surely there is something in the present we can find to love and be joyful about.