That Cloak is Heavier than It Appears

From the New Era Elements Tarot, the King of Water; from the Tao Oracle, 'Great Power:'

          He may be the Father of Water, but there is no doubt this man is both a leader and a warrior. He wears the feathered cloak of a Maori chief; around his neck hangs a greenstone toki. The toki was based on the shape of a tool for cutting and digging. The pendant bestowed strength and authority to the wearer and was believed to increase his or her life force. The hei tiki on the comb in his hair was considered a dwelling place for ancestral spirits. He may be the chief, but he knows he stands on the shoulders of others. The Great Power card (hexagram 34) warns that its influence can be wielded positively or negatively, depending on one's strength of character. Everyone experiences challenges that will test their integrity and ethics; true power results when we can hang on to our spiritual principles rather than give in to pride and self-centeredness. The Maori chief has been through both physical battles and battles of egotism. He has chosen to let these challenges open his heart rather than armor it, finding wisdom in his suffering rather than self-pity or resentment. It's what makes him a compassionate counselor as well as a leader.

Replenishment and Equanimity

This week I'll be using the New Era Elements Tarot, created by Eleonore Pieper and published by U.S. Games. I'll also be using the Tao Oracle, created by Ma Deva Padma and published by St. Martin's Press. Today's draws are the Ten of Water (Cups) and 'Duration:'

          Pieper uses a clear lake to illustrate the Ten of Water and gives it the keyword 'repletion.' It implies that at some point the water dried up, leaving a dry river bed. But now it is full again; such is the cycle of relationships and our own emotions. Yet instead of worrying about changes to come, now is the time to enjoy the contentment and serenity available. When we're fully hydrated, we'll be in a better frame of mind to deal with the unexpected. The Tao Oracle's card (hexagram 32) shows a mountain weathering the seasons. Padma suggests the stability of the mountain is an analogy for the equanimity of life, found only in the present and through emotional maturity. I've been reading about the concept of emotional differentiation (based on cellular biology) by Dr. Murray Bowen. Psychologically, differentiation results in a solid sense of self. If we fear that we won't be loved or accepted, we develop an idealized-self, based on who we think we should be in order to be loved. As he explains:

 People with a poorly differentiated “self” depend so heavily on the acceptance and approval of others that either they quickly adjust what they think, say, and do to please others or they dogmatically proclaim what others should be like and pressure them to conform. A person with a well-differentiated “self” recognizes his realistic dependence on others, but he can stay calm and clear headed enough in the face of conflict, criticism, and rejection to distinguish thinking rooted in a careful assessment of the facts from thinking clouded by emotionality.

Refilling my cup and maintaining emotional balance is my work, independent of the actions of someone else.

Lighting a Fire

From the Rohrig Tarot, the Ace of Batons; from the Master Tarot, 'The Pearl:'

          A match of inspiration has been struck, but like an actual flame, it needs oxygen, fuel, and protection from the wind to take hold. Fully fleshed ideas, resources, and effort will allow the inspiration to take form. But perhaps it is wise to pause and consider what type of fuel will feed my bonfire. I've been motivated by anger and fear, and the actions that I took under their sway did not turn out the way I intended. The Pearl tells a story of a merchant who had a load of goods, found a priceless pearl, then sold what he had to buy the pearl. The wisdom the story hints at is that what appears as valuable and worthwhile on the surface is not what it seems; there may be a better option. The Zen sage Hsin Hsin Ming gives a few hints that might help:

When love and hate are both absent 

everything becomes clear and undisguised. 

Make the smallest distinction, however, 

and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart. 

If you wish to see the truth 

then hold no opinions for or against anything. 

To set up what you like against what you dislike 

is the disease of the mind. 

When the deep meaning of things is not understood, 

the mind's essential peace is disturbed to no avail.  

Radical Service

From the Rohrig Tarot, the Queen of Disks; from the Master Tarot, the 'Son of Man:'

          The Queen of Disks nurtures through her body, whether she is creating and feeding a baby, making a garden, building a house or leading a conservation effort. Her body is a temple, not because she's into taking selfies every hour, but because it allows her to serve others through it. Her service is practical and grounded in what will be of immediate help. You'll get little talk therapy from her, but she might take you on a hike in the forest if she thinks that would be beneficial. The Son of Man looks a little wild-eyed, but anyone who's studied the historical Jesus (rather than the myth) will know the human behind the name was a social reformer who believed more in taking care of others than rigidly following dogma. The booklet suggests he offers a challenge to us for radical self-discovery. Perhaps the labels we've assigned ourselves need to be widened (along with our mind) in order to serve an even greater audience.

An Education in Relations

From the Rohrig Tarot, the Four of Cups; from the Master Tarot, 'The Children:'

          The Thoth framework calls this card 'luxury.' The excess found in the Four of Cups is a saturation of love and devotion that can begin to feel confining. One person smothers another with attention, while the other person stagnates without an outlet. Thus what would normally give pleasure and joy has been transformed into apathy and ingratitude. Resentment is just a few sips away; the giver feels unappreciated, and the taker feels undeserving and uncomfortable. The Children card suggests we remember that innocent part of ourselves before all the causes and conditions we experienced shaped us. Rarely does anyone get a helpful education in how to have healthy relationships growing up. What we crave and what we fear often becomes how we love and live. Could we have a do-over?

To be in any sort of relationship where you do not express yourself, simply to keep the peace, is a relationship ruled by one person and will never be balanced or healthy.

~Bronnie Ware

On a Timer

From the Rohrig Tarot, the Princess (Page) of Wands; from the Master Tarot, 'The Galaxy:'

          This gal's got magnetic charm in spades, but the big cats hidden in the fall of her hair show her personality. When she gets enthused about something, she can track and pounce on it with the eagerness and skill of any predator. But for her, the thrill is in the 'kill;' the book describes her as having a "short-lived ability to surrender to one particular thing." Indeed, she has a Rolodex full of all her adventures, but it's doubtful that she could talk about any of them very deeply. She reminds me of an article I came across the other day written by John Beckett about the common reasons people can't decide and stick with a spiritual path. People like this Princess seem to enjoy switching channels of whatever they're interested in so they don't get bored. The Galaxy card is a reminder that we are part of a collective, interconnected whole. Our needs go far beyond the basics of food, water, and air - they also include belonging. Yet we often treat our friends and family like this Princess treats her interests - with brief attentiveness rather than deep affection. The Galaxy suggests we grant these important relationships the respect they're due.

Furnace of Love

From the Rohrig Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Master Tarot, 'The Comet:'

          The companion book describes the Ace of Cups as "love in all its modes of expression." A woman walks into the fiery radiance of such love, offering no resistance. Where there is love, the heart is vulnerable and wears no armor. Whether it's a pet, a child, a spouse, a lover or friend, our heart resonates with their joys and their sorrows. Love can melt us in its furnace, yet it can also transform our heart. It requires us not to become self-absorbed in the emotion so that we lose sight of our connection. The Comet suggests an auspicious time and states that "something is about to pierce through our armor." Sounds like an opening of the heart, but in order to welcome it fearlessly, it might be best to take Sharon Salzberg's advice:

Love is a feeling and it’s what we yearn for, but looking deeper, it’s a capacity within us to care and to want others and ourselves to be free from suffering. We want to have a sense of belonging that’s rightful no matter who we are, and that is an ability within us. If we think of it as a warm fuzzy feeling then it’s in the hands of someone else. I describe it as being beholden to person holding a package on our doorstep who then changes their mind. They’ve gone somewhere else and then there’s no love in our lives. That’s the way we usually think about it. But if we see love as a capacity within ourselves to connect, then people can enliven it, enrich it or threaten it but no one is giving it to us. Or taking it away.