How We Respond

From the New Era Elements Tarot, the Daughter of Water (Princess/Page of Cups); from the Tao Oracle, Conflict (Hexagram 6):

All conflict can be traced back to someone’s feelings getting hurt, don’t you think?

—  Liane Moriarty

The Daughter of Water is warm, compassionate, kind and tender. From an elemental standpoint, she is water of water; emotionally, she lives on a tiny isle of romance and joy. Responsive to the needs of others, people enjoy her sensitivity and attention. Because she guards her inner island of harmony closely, she does not handle discord well. Yet conflict does not imply that relationships are imperfect. Hexagram 6 speaks of a clash of wills about the rightness of their ideas or ways of doing things. It's easy to slip into brain-lock, being unable to hear and consider another point of view. However being open-minded doesn't mean giving up our values but making space to consider a wider, more expansive view; it means seeing a more complete picture of the situation. As Thomas Crum explained, "The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not we have conflicts, but on how we respond to them."

A Sense of Responsibility

From the Gill Tarot, the Six of Disks; from The Circle, Conflict:

Until the great mass of the people shall be filled with the sense of responsibility for each other's welfare, social justice can never be attained. ~Helen Keller

Gill gives this card the keyword of well-being, not just for an individual but applying it to all. In Buddhism, the three poisons - greed, hatred and delusion - have antidotes in generosity, loving-kindness and wisdom. The first three bring discontent while the second three bring joy and a sense of well-being. But getting people to willingly share their resources usually creates a push back, as Conflict shows. Often, we don't want to imagine ourselves in a place of need, so we try to ignore those who currently are. But that worrisome feeling will dog us no matter how far we try to push it down. Psychiatrist and researcher Helen Riess found that physicians who turned off their feelings and created emotional distance not only had patients who distrusted them, they became lonelier and burned out themselves. As Riess explained, "All parties are equally enriched when we perceive and respond to each other with empathy and compassion."

Focus on the Solution

 From the Cosmic Tarot, the Seven of Pentacles; from the L'Oeil de Lotus, Conflict:

Try again. Fail again. Fail better. —Samuel Beckett

          I've tried to grow an assortment of flowers, herbs, and vegetables over the years, so I understand the frustration and despair of this young man. All of his hard work has been for naught. So what does Beckett mean when he suggests we should 'fail better'? In my case, it means I need to investigate what went wrong and educate myself on how I might prevent it from happening again. Each time things go awry gives me an opportunity to learn. But the Conflict card brings up what often happens when a project or task involves others. Failure can create a trigger response of blaming the other for any unhappy result. But sometimes, even when people do their best, things don't work out. As Catherine Pulsifer explained, "Blaming does not solve a problem; it usually only makes people defensive." 

Work Clothes

From the New Era Elements Tarot, the Father of Earth (King of Pentacles); from the Tao Oracle, 'Conflict:'

          Instead of a crown, this King wears a cap, and his cloak has been exchanged for work clothes. He could be the illustration for a Thomas Edison quote: "Most people don't recognize opportunity when it comes, because it's usually dressed in overalls and looks a lot like work." Young people often have visions of making big money by doing something that seems exciting, like being a rap star or an NFL quarterback. This man would tell them to work on finding their own talents and develop them, no matter what they might be. Just because a person isn't in the limelight doesn't mean he or she isn't successful. The Conflict card (hexagram 6) shows a clash of wills that can range from stubborn competitiveness to aggressive hostility. Padma suggests looking for the root of strife within ourselves before pointing any fingers. Both these cards seem to imply advice that is asked for and given yet is not received with open arms. The Father of Earth would probably laugh and say that there's no reason to get angry about it - time will tell the tale.

The Joy of Doing

From the Art of Life Tarot, the Three of Pentacles (detail from Tightrope Walker by August Mack):

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

The fellow on the tightrope didn't just hop up there one day and do it perfectly. I'm sure he had people and tools to help him: a mentor to teach him, a pole to help him balance, special shoes to wear, and a net to catch him if he fell. And though he may be a master of the rope now, some of those resources he continues to use to perform his act. Yet it is more than just a job and a paycheck; I'm sure the thrill of accomplishment and the awe of the crowds encourage him too. As Emerson reminds me, loving what you do and being able to do it is the true reward. And I can't think of a better way to thank those who help me do what I love by doing it joyfully.  

From the Tao Oracle comes the card "Conflict:"

Two robot-like beings struggle with each other, creating steam above their heads from the water they stand in. The bricks and stones that make up their bodies make me think the conflict is one between the two different beliefs of institutions and individuals. I feel this card indicates an internal struggle for me between the "shoulds" of society and what my heart wants to do. Money is necessary, but it sure can't buy happiness. If I look for where the greater benefit will be found, the choice is easy. If I'm doing what I love, then that joy will spill over to other people too. 

Clear or Partly Cloudy

From the Gill Tarot, the Queen of Swords:

The queen sits on her throne made of a cloud, emphasizing her rational, logical way of thinking (her head is not "in the clouds").  The alchemical vessel beside her indicates that she boils away all that is not helpful in coming to a judgment about a person or situation.  Looking at this image makes me reflect on all the ways I am influenced by internal or external sources that keep me from making sane decisions:
1) My emotions - If I love someone or a cause so dearly, I may see only their good points and none of their flaws.  Likewise if I hate something or someone, I will see only what is bad about them and none of their virtues.  Fear and sadness can keep me from acknowledging an opportunity or other need for action.
2) My desires - It is amazing how deftly the human mind can delude a person into denying reality because of what they crave or long for.  For instance, the woman who wants so desperately to be in a relationship, she ignores the fact that the man she is with is emotionally abusive.
3) My preconceived ideas - As much as I would like to believe I am the most open-minded person in the world, I know I have a set of beliefs that keep my reality neatly boxed.  Even when someone shares an experience with me, I evaluate the information against what I "know," and decide whether any of it is useful or not.  There are many doors in my mind that might have opened had I even entertained these new ideas or been less attached to my tightly held ideas.
So how about you?  What keeps you from seeing clearly?

From The Circle deck comes "Conflict:"

Years ago I lived on a farm surrounded by acres and acres of pastures, groves and fields.  Because of its vast size, economical barbed wire fences were used to keep the cattle and horses out of the fields planted with crops.  I can remember being woken up late at night or early morning when the cattle had pushed down a fence (probably scratching themselves on a post).  A calf would become separated from its mother, and make poor bleating noises outside my window while its mom would moo deeply on the other side of the house.  Fences do help keep the peace, in more ways than one.  I am reminded by this card that the best boundary I can have in place to avoid conflict is respect - both for others and myself.

Food for Thought

From the Fairytale Tarot, the Seven of Coins:

The Seven of Coins deals with sizing up a situation and deciding on the next course of action.  In the tale of the brave tailor, this fellow decides that brains are better than brawn, and gets what he wants in the end.  Society often teaches us that physical force is the way to achieve what we want, but looking at the ongoing battles in the Middle East and elsewhere show the fallacy of this thinking.  Better to be like the water that gently wears away the stones as it flows downstream.

From the Tao Oracle comes "Conflict:"

Ah, the holidays.... Take groups of family members, a mix of liberal and conservative beliefs, and toss them together for a day.  Inevitably, conflict will rear its head.  But Padma says there is another way, one that doesn't require fleeing or fighting.  We relax the clenched fist and allow the heart and mind to be open.  Food for thought that won't add any Thanksgiving calories today.