It's a Journey

From the Gaian Tarot, the Ace of Water; from the Goddess Oracle, Demeter:

The gift of life is yours. It’s an amazing journey, and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.

―Dan Zadra

Can you imagine being this tiny salmon, suddenly hatched into a big world that is completely unfamiliar? We all go through this at some point, such as with divorce or a geographical move. Nothing seems the same, which can at times be exhilarating or terrifying; we may even grieve for what was. Yet there is the potential of new friendships and partnerships, of connecting and belonging, even if at the moment we feel lost. We must only keep our hearts open and pay attention to find them. Demeter is associated with emotions because of the kidnapping of her daughter. How we feel needs to be accepted and expressed appropriately rather than pretending to be fine. As Jason N. Linder reminds us, "Ignoring emotion is like tuning out essential signals to and from our body and brain, obstructing your success and ability to understand, take care of yourself, and act wisely and intentionally."

Conserving Energy But Not Emotions

From the Gaian Tarot, the Star:

The worshipful way this woman looks at the water in the palms of her hands is the way I look at my first cup of coffee in the morning. Riding the menopausal mongoose has disrupted my sleep for quite a while now, and I find myself waking up only to hope the day goes by quickly so I can crawl beneath the sheets again. I've tried every natural remedy and pharmaceutical available; I can fall asleep easily, I just don't stay asleep. The Star is a card of hope and guidance, but it is also a card of healing that reminds me to be gentle with myself when I'm struggling physically, mentally or emotionally. Now is not the time to add obligations or start new projects. The belted kingfisher beside the pool is a bird that waits in a tree or shrub until he spies something to eat, then he swoops down to the water to grab it and goes back to his perch. He teaches me to stay still when I can and conserve my energy.

From the Goddess Oracle comes "Demeter:"

Demeter was the Greek goddess associated with agriculture. When her daughter was abducted by Hades, she was overcome with grief and anger. As a result, the seasons stopped and all growing things began to die.  People and gods didn't care much about her emotional troubles until it affected them, then they clamored for the daughter's return too. The pomegranate Demeter holds is split open, suggesting I release and express my feelings.  Holding them in only results in an inappropriate explosion later (think of Pele the volcanic goddess). I recently watched Bernie on Netflix, a dark comedy about the true story of an elderly woman's companion. The woman was hateful and controlling, and one day Bernie (who was always "nice") shot her. The prosecutor had to move the case to another city because all the townspeople didn't think Bernie should be held accountable, because they knew how nasty and mean the woman had been. But like Bernie, I will have to answer for my outbursts or behavior. I need to find a clear way to communicate my emotions instead of holding them in for the sake of keeping the peace.