I Love Postal Carriers

From the Urban Tarot, the Nine of Wands; from the Principles to Live By oracle, Honesty:

The hand cannot reach higher than does the heart.

~Orison Swett Marden

          A lone postal worker pushes a mail cart in the frigid hours of the early morning. After years of organizational neglect and a new boss who cares more for politics than serving the postal system, I can't think of a more appropriate example of strength in adversity than a mail carrier. Like the waitress yelled at for an overcooked steak, they get blamed for everything that goes wrong. Yet my postman was running several routes, beginning before dawn and lasting after dark, during the height of the Covid pandemic. And how many of us are cheered to see their little truck pulling up to our mailbox, delivering letters or a package? There is dedication implied in this card, a wholehearted devotion to duty or calling. The fully opened lotus flower suggests complete honesty, a truth that underlies words and actions. Even the most devoted and determined need someone with whom they can speak about their challenges and concerns. Being honest about our struggles is the first step in finding the encouragement and assistance we need.

Owning What's Mine

This week I'll be using the Urban Tarot, a deck and book set created and self-published by Robin Scott (now published by U.S. Games). I'll be pairing it with an oracle I created called "Principles to Live By." Today's draws are the Five of Cups and Honesty:

          This scene eerily replays one when I was six created by my stepfather (though we didn't have nice china or a cabinet). We were poor, maggots were found in our food, and he went ballistic. We lived in a shithole at the time, so such disgusting discoveries were par for the course. Scott assigns this card the keyword 'disappointment,' which she rightly describes as a raw mixture of anger, grief, and fear. The Honesty tile suggests being genuine and truthful, which includes telling ourselves the truth as well. Like the lotus bud that has opened up completely to the sunlight, I must stop compartmentalizing my thoughts and actions and look at all of them as a whole. As Bhikkhu Analayo stated, "the first step to developing accurate self-awareness is honest acknowledgment of the existence of hidden emotions, motives and tendencies in the mind without immediately suppressing them." Whatever the situation, if I don't own my own stuff, I won't move forward and I'll be unable to see that not everything is broken.

The Pathology of Altruism

From the Everyday Enchantment Tarot, the Queen of Cups; from the MentorSpirit Cards, 'Honesty:'

          This Queen has brought a cup of coffee for a homeless man and water and biscuits for his dog. She asks, "What else do you need?" The black and white image of the crowd that walks past them suggests she is, in fact, offering what he needs - compassionate attention. This woman must walk mindfully between the landmines of pity (I feel sorry for you), sympathy (I care about you), and empathy (I feel your pain) to arrive at compassion (I recognize your suffering, won't turn away from it, and would like to relieve it). Honesty in her case refers to self-honesty, the ability to know whether she is reacting or responding to a situation. She needs to be objective enough to realize when her desire to help is leaning towards pathological altruism. As Joan Halifax explains (who has long been involved in prison and hospice work): "...altruism that is not principled and grounded and characterized by insight can easily tip into harm. Part of it has to do with our capacity to get grounded and not to get overwhelmed ourselves by over-identification with someone who is suffering. Part of it is maintaining intentional balance and to keep in focus the clear intention of why we’re there, that is to benefit others."

Positive Purpose

This post is a little late because our county was one of several hit by a line of severe thunderstorms and tornadoes that blew through the South last night. My family was one of the lucky ones that just lost power and phones; a lot of the city looks like a bomb went off. Many friends and neighbors have huge oaks and other trees crushing their houses and cars. It is amazing that no one died here. Feeling grateful but also wanted to ask for good thoughts for those who weren't so lucky. 

From the Tarot of the Secret Forest, the Magician; from the Faeries Oracle, Honesty:

          When things fall apart or when life brings the unexpected, what happens to a person’s sense of personal power? Can the will be used to help clean up the chaos that is often left behind, allowing forward movement to eventually begin again? The lemniscate below the Magician is a reminder that the self-will is always within; yet the Magician can use it for positive purposes or to trick and manipulate. The Froud fairy Honesty shows up as a beacon for truth, and a warning to avoid lies, passive-aggressiveness or dramatics for attention. His message is to be honest but also tactful and compassionate. Clarity will be the result, making sure we are moving in the right direction. An objective and realistic view can be immensely helpful when trying to put one foot in front of the other.

Strong Foundation

From the Waking the Wild Spirit Tarot, the Smith (Four of Fire/Wands); from the MentorSpirit Cards, Honesty:

          This smith has melted metal ore at high temperatures and now pours it into a mold. When it cools, he will hammer the piece into its final shape (the word "smith" means to hit or strike). Palin likens his forge to our will; it is the fire inside us that helps us take raw inspiration and shape it as we desire. I wonder what this man's crafted piece will be - a weapon, a farming implement, a tool for building or creating, or just something of beauty? Our wills are constantly shaping our lives, sometimes in conscious ways and other times in unconscious ways. With the Four of Fire/Wands, a foundation has been laid. Perhaps before things progress any further, we can make sure what we're building is really what we want. As Alan Morinis wrote, "Too often, we become aware of the desire only when we discover ourselves already living out circumstances of which we are unquestionably the author, and which we have to deal with, even though we didn’t consciously choose them." The image on the Honesty card reminds me of a jellyfish; both can cause us some discomfort. Fear of consequences can make us ignore or reshape the truth, while real honesty is not swayed by self-serving biases. And though dishonesty seems to protect us, it will eventually bring down whatever we've built. The truth, on the other hand, will make for a strong foundation.

Not a Free-for-All

From the Legacy of the Divine Tarot, the Ace of Swords; from Steps to Serenity, "Honesty:"

          Being a birder, the first things I notice about this Ace of Swords are the eagles in the foreground and the hawks in the background. As an American, I associate the eagle with freedom (and with the sword, the truth that sets you free). I see hawks frequently; they're expert hunters, diving at great speeds from great heights to catch their meals. They tear apart their prey with a sharp bill and talons, and what they capture has a quick (though not painless) death. These birds of prey remind me of Marchetti's words about this card: "This power of the mind can be used for good or evil, because the two edges of the sword are peace and suffering."
          Honesty can be like that two-edged sword, inflicting harm or righting a wrong. Ginny on 78 Notes to Self had an excellent post a few years ago about honesty. She posted a picture she had found on Facebook that said "I'm not rude, I'm honest." She expressed the opinion that rudeness isn't tough love - it isn't love at all. I have to agree; it feels more like passive-aggressiveness than honesty. It is interesting that in the 12 Steps, the one that deals with making amends suggests we make: "direct amends [rigorous honesty and restitution] to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." Honesty is not a free-for-all food fight. People shouldn't wind up with more damage and harm than before I opened my mouth. I need to handle that sword very carefully.

The Challenge of Honesty

This week I'll be using the Picture Postcard Tarot created by Marcia McCord.  Today's card is the Six of Wands:

The Mounted Police lead a parade through the streets.  Here are the heroes, who keep order and make the city safe for all.  The number six often refers to a return to harmony - things have settled down and life is restored to sanity once again.  Add the wands to the mix, and you get a challenge that has been successfully met, with others recognizing your achievement.  Today begins our holiday madness, and I'm so glad to see we'll be returning home this evening feeling like we've made a difference by just showing up.  Sometimes its not about the presents we give but the attitude we ride out with...

     The oracle I'll be working with this week is called Steps to Serenity; it's one I created myself and is based on the principles and philosophy behind the 12 Steps.  This morning's draw is "Honesty:"

"He is very much the actor.  To the outer world he presents his stage character.  This is the one he likes his fellows to see.  He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it." ~ AA Big Book

Just as this cheetah hides in the grass, I am adept at hiding my true self, living behind my masks.  I don't mean what I say or say what I mean.  I don't allow myself to be vulnerable by showing what is within to those on the outside.  Self-honesty relieves me of this weight, and puts me on the path to wholeness.  Then I truly can live in freedom without fear.  My masks during the holidays want me to be the martyr, to tell everyone "Look at all I have to do with no help!"  Yet if am honest, I know I have a daughter and a husband who are willing to assist if I will only ask.  Like the Mounted Police above, we can act as a team if I will allow it.