Self-forgiveness

From the Victorian Romantic Tarot, the Star; from the Dreaming in Color Cards, Loss:

Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.

— Leo F. Buscaglia

There are times when we hurtful things in anger, when we make a terribly wrong choice or when we judge harshly someone who blameless. The consequences may be that we lose people and things that are important. How do we wash away the pain and heal our grief? First, we must acknowledge our part in the mess, which helps us be accountable as well as learn from our mistakes. We make amends and restitution where it is possible. But perhaps the hardest part is the process of self-forgiveness. Yet as Tara Brach explains, “Feeling compassion for ourselves in no way releases us from responsibility for our actions. Rather, it releases us from the self-hatred that prevents us from responding to our life with clarity and balance.” 

Gain and Loss

From the Russian Lubok Tarot, the Nine of Pentacles; from the Marseille Oracle, Loss:

This pair of cards, representing both gain and loss, made me think of a quote by Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel:

How do we live a life we can’t hold on to?” How do we live with the fact that the moment we’re born we move closer to death; when we fall in love we sign up for grief? How do we reconcile that gain always ends in loss; gathering, in separation?

Perhaps by keeping an open mind and heart while realizing these are natural cycles and changes. And by keeping in mind the words of Bruce Tift:

We can never solve our lives. Life is not a thing that can be broken and then fixed. Life is a process, and we can never solve a process. We can only participate in this process, either consciously or unconsciously.

Picking up Coins

From the Ancient Italian Tarot, the Ace of Coins; from the Marseille Oracle, 'Loss:'

          There is a lot of vegetation surrounding this coin, a promise of growth in the material realm if one chooses to accept this opportunity. There may be several valid reasons for not picking up that coin - a lack of time, not being sufficiently motivated to see it through, or a clash with a backer's ethics or vision. Yet many people probably won't pocket that coin out of a fear of failure. It may help if we frame it as Mary Oliver does: "It's not a competition, it's a doorway." The Loss card shows a candle that has been snuffed out and seems to parallel the choice of not taking the opportunity. The lack of light is suggested by the booklet's phrase, "Clarify things before proceeding." If we are planning to turn down an offer based only on assumptions, perhaps we should get more information before we act; it would help to make sure what we think is actually true.

The Magician's Mojo

From the Deck of the Bastard, the Magician; from the Marseille Oracle, "Loss:"

          This Magician looks like one from the Etteilla deck; instead of the usual items on the table, he has a figure resembling himself. This may be because Etteilla's magus was given the keywords "Sorrow or Illness." He is literally trying to enact the proverb "Physician, heal thyself." He's lost his mojo and is desperately trying to get it back - which leads to the Loss card. However, this may not be something physical that has been lost. If a candle is snuffed out, it is the illumination that disappears. His thinking is cloudy rather than clear. These cards suggest that whatever needs to be healed, it is going to require me doing the work. There is no magic pill to take, enlightening book to read or guru to give advice. I'm the only one who can make the changes necessary to get back my mojo. I know what to do, I just need to do it.