Lovingkindness is the antidote to hatred. That is why cultivating it is so beneficial. The practice is about your being able to access and cultivate the healthiest parts of yourself, without allowing anyone to obstruct that. —Andrew Olendzki
Temperance takes the middle path between extremes; it looks for something healthier that offers compromise and balance. It isn't about agreeing or disagreeing, aversion or attachment, but finding a way that works and is beneficial for all in the long run. When it involves two or more people, it helps to come to the table with an attitude of unconditional friendliness rather than seeing the other as the enemy. It requires looking for what is held in common, not just focusing on different opinions or perspectives. The Sea Snake lives far out in the ocean, and according to Bowen, must shed its skin more often than regular snakes to avoid parasites. For this reason, she has assigned it the keywords 'letting go.' It suggests that what could hinder finding middle ground is holding on to views that may be personally important but aren't pertinent to the whole or the current situation. In the above quote, Olendzki ends with the words "without allowing anyone to obstruct that." The irony is that the obstruction doesn't lie with another but within me.
