Soothe Yourself

From the Herbcrafter's Tarot, the Ten of Fire/Wands (Comfrey); from the Green Wheel Oracle, Wren:

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying 'yes' too quickly and not saying 'no' soon enough. —Josh Billings

I've noticed that when you retire from the work force, people often seek you out to join groups or do volunteer work. Such endeavors can be beneficial, as they keep us active and involved with others. But at times they can become a burdensome demand. Comfrey has historically been used in salves and poultices to treat bruises and sprains. Its message is: "There can be too much of a good thing. Stop. Step away. Soothe yourself. Cut it down and it roars back to life." Like this herb, when we cut down our work and take time to rest, we can rejuvenate ourselves. Wren is a tiny bird with a big voice. It reminds us that people don't always accept what we're trying to tell them, but we need to have the confidence to stand up for what we need. Trying to please others rather than taking care of ourselves only leads to resentment, burnout and health issues. As Anna Taylor said, "You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept."

Sweet or Thorny

From the Tarot of the Sidhe, the Ten of Warriors (Wands); from the Green Man Tree Oracle, Blackthorn (Straif):

Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master. 

—Ayn Rand

The Ten of Warriors/Wands illustrates a great sacrifice, yet also reminds us to ask ourselves: "Why am I doing this?" Is our service for the greater good, or to satisfy the wishes of the few? We may need to check and see if we are prioritizing others' wants while neglecting our needs, or whether we are driven by a need for approval. A healthy sacrifice involves freedom of choice, not manipulation or coercion, but with a clear understanding of our 'why.' Blackthorn has a dual meaning, one sinister and one protective. In Ireland, it was used for making both cudgels and walking sticks. A 14th-century Welsh poem describes both sides: "The blackthorn full of spines—but how the child delights in its fruit." Again, we are tasked with asking if what we are doing is truly beneficial or has a thornier side.

Big Smiles, Big Burdens

From the Mystical Moments Tarot, the Ten of Wands; from the Inner Eye Oracle, Decision:

No matter how bad you have it, someone will always trade places with you.

—Vince Flynn

I've been a part of the Armchair Theologians book club for well over a decade now; we are a close group and have developed a great respect and fondness for each other. Yesterday I was leading the discussion ("The Cosmic Web"), and we ended a little early. I took advantage of the extra time and asked each person how they were (really) doing. It is always a shock to find out the people who seem to live such charmed lives are often carrying the heaviest of burdens. Decision asks if we would trade lives with another, especially if we are well acquainted with their actual rather than imagined life. We might reconsider the weight of our own loads, seeing them a little lighter than was first thought. People need us to ask about them, especially now, to let them know someone cares how they're doing. As Oliver Stark said, "Often the people with the biggest smiles can be struggling the most."

Heavy Lifting

From the Tarot of the Masters, the Ten of Wands; from the Key to the Kingdom, the Ten of Clubs:

It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it. 

―Lou Holtz

Just like these women carrying heavy bundles of firewood in the winter, we all shoulder burdens. There are diverse types of loads, some that are hidden and others that are obvious. One of the tools that can help us carry our hardship is to notice others who are trudging along with their own. Compassion brings us together, giving us strength, and keeps us from feeling separate and alone. The Ace of Clubs is paired with a rhyme that describes a keyhole, without a key and a door without a handle or house. It ends with the line "say nothing, creep away, and live to knock another day!" When we find ourselves suddenly having to bear a hardship, we may get stuck in an undertow of "why." Yet even if we have an answer, would that actually satisfy us and make the load lighter? As Arthur Ashe flipped it, "If I don't ask "Why me?" after my victories, I cannot ask "Why me?" after my setbacks and disasters."

A Sea of Expectations

From the Sacred India Tarot, the Ten of Staves; from the Land Sky Oracle, Ahimsa:

He was swimming in a sea of other people’s expectations. Men had drowned in seas like that.

― Robert Jordan

King Rama had already asked his wife Sita to walk through fire to prove her purity to others after she returned from being kidnapped. Yet his subjects didn't truly believe that she was undefiled; when Rama needed her for an important ceremony, he asked her to go through another fire ceremony. Sita, however, was not a people pleaser. Being the daughter of Mother Earth, she requested to return to Nature, where she no longer had to deal with the rules and judgments of men. Sita understood that Ahimsa, the moral restraint that encourages nonharm and compassion, applies not only to how we treat others, but also oneself. She knew that false obligation (expectations that are not promised) and wanting to be liked were invalid reasons to cause harm to herself. Rama could have learned a thing or two from her.

You Got Style

From the Classic Tarot, the Ten of Staves; from the Constellations Deck, Canes Venatici:

All creative work builds on what came before. Nothing is completely original.

― Austin Kleon

The Classic's meaning for this card is emulation: the process of copying something achieved by someone else and trying to do it as well as they have. Copying may sound like a horrible thing to do, but if we are trying to learn, it gives us a launching pad. This is how the Renaissance artists studied and gained skills and techniques. Yet achieving the ability to copy a master should not be our end game, as Canes Venatici ("hunting dogs") implies. Instead, we use what we've learned to explore and find our own creative expression and style.

Busy Hands, Light Heart

From the Norse Tarot, the Ten of Wands; from the Wolf Pack, Reunion:

There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes. –William J. Brennan, Jr.

Barrett describes this fellow as a merchant who doesn't mind getting away from the sales counter and doing work that isn't quite as prestigious. When did hard work become something we thumbed our noses at rather than what we were proud of? Just because we can afford to pay someone to do a job that we could do ourselves doesn't make it lowly or inferior. Reunion, while usually referring to two separate people, might refer to two parts of ourselves. Remember as young children when we were proud to accomplish simple tasks on our own? Yet even when we're older, there are reasons to appreciate such work. As Tad Williams wrote: "One should treasure those hum-drum tasks that keep the body occupied but leave the mind and heart unfettered."

A Whiny Edge

From the Ship of Fools Tarot, the Ten of Staves; from the Wisdom of the Four Winds, Obsidian:

You can only whine for so long. Then you need to get your life back. 

―Marya Hornbacher

This fool's body is in a strange position because he is twisting backward instead of looking forward. My guess is that he's looking for someone to complain to about the load he's carrying. Venting can help reduce our stress if we express what's bothering us (without going on and on). But Obsidian suggests we might take a sharper, reflective look to see if our complaining has taken on a whiny edge. Using this checklist may help us be aware if this habit is hurting rather than helping:

1. We feel even worse than before.
2. We resist every helpful suggestion or solution.
3. We ignore any silver linings.
4. We complain in a mean-spirited or catastrophic way.
5. We're starting to wear out our support system.

Burden of the Mind

This week I'll be using the Cosmic Tarot, created by Norbert Losche and published by U.S. Games. I'll also be drawing from L'Oeil de Lotus (Eye of the Lotus), created by Colette and Gérard Lougarre and published by Vox Arkhana. Today's cards are the Ten of Wands and Winter:

The burden in our minds is always heavier than the burdens on our shoulders.

― Mehmet Murat ildan

Intense pain, in some respects, is like an orgasm; it literally sweeps away every thought in the mind except for the physical sensation itself. We've all felt some degree of it, and usually battle it like an enemy, wanting the pain to go away and stop disrupting our busy lives. But these thoughts add to our pain. Rebecca Li defines suffering as an experience of the present moment to which we add vexations (craving, aversion, delusion). We want our health back, hate our infirmity, and believe it will last forever. But perhaps there is another way. The oracle card Winter depicts the season of cold and starkness - a fitting representation for pain (especially with the man using the cane). Yet this season will eventually pass, giving way to spring. Pain too can fluctuate, sometimes ebbing sometimes surging. It will not stay unchanged. Curiosity rather than anger may be a guide to less suffering. 

Enduring Courage

From the Swietlistej Drogi Tarot, the Ten of Wands; from the Mirrors of the Heart, Courage:

Don't despair: despair suggests you are in total control and know what is coming. You don't – surrender to events with hope. – Alain de Botton

This is a new twist on the Ten of Wands; the heavy burden usually seen has now become the fuel for a bonfire. But when we're still in the middle of the struggle, it's easy to let our attitude sink into resentment or despondency. When the road ahead is long, it can help to make our goals small instead of focusing solely on the finish line. Then we can celebrate the small successes of each day. The Courage card is paired with a timepiece, suggesting that enduring courage will be needed for the long haul.  The words of Eleanor Roosevelt are an encouragement in this regard: "We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down."

The Way You Carry It

From the Tarot of the Secret Forest, the Ten of Wands; from the Faeries' Oracle, the Topsy Turvets:

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.

― Lou Holtz

Snapping turtles hibernate during the winter months, and when they emerge, they sometimes unintentionally carry part of their winter home with them. Humans too can suddenly find such a weight on their shoulders, especially if they are in a caregiving role. Stress can show up in feelings of frustration, sadness, loneliness and anxiety as well as a strain on our physical health. It is important to realize that the caregiver needs care too. It also helps to remember: nothing lasts forever, humor can lighten the load, and we often find help when we ask others for it. The Topsie Turvets visit when we are in a mental muddle and give us a chance to see from a different viewpoint. They tell us to ask different questions and question our assumptions. There's always another side to every story.

When we cultivate mind in everyday life, we have to let go of everything we experience. We don’t need to add any more baggage. If you just keep letting go of everything and moving forward, you’ll reach the top of the mountain. –Daehaeng Kun Sunim

Laying Down the Load

From the Tarot of Durer, the Ten of Wands; from Philosopher's Stone, Light:

You can’t make radical changes in the pattern of your life until you see yourself exactly as you are now. As soon as you do that changes will flow naturally.

―Henepola Gunaratana

Look closely and you will see that what is being burned is not a real house but a painting of one. Sometimes we have to continue doing the same thing in the same way until it becomes a colossal failure. We often have to experience suffering to see beyond our blinders and find our way to relief. Light suggests clarity and the willingness to see reality as it is. Because of that vulnerable openness, we see what is clearly; truths are discovered and understanding is found. What a relief to lay down that load.

Thorns Have Roses

From the New Liminal Tarot, the Ten of Wands; from the State By State playing cards, the Two of Spades - Illinois:

Perspective is everything when you are experiencing the challenges of life.

–Joni Eareckson Tada

In this Ten of Wands, a man carries a heavy load while walking barefoot over hot coals. It's amazing how the mind can make our challenges larger than they are: our hardship can seem insurmountable and obstacles impassable. We don't need to undermine our difficulties, but neither do we need to allow them to mushroom into mountains. Abraham Lincoln illustrates the Two of Spades, and perhaps no other person has borne a weight greater than he. This quote illuminates his outlook, explaining how he could carry such a burden in reuniting our country: "We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."

Let Me Check My Schedule...

From the Victoria Regina Tarot, the Ten of Wands; from the Alchemist's Oracle, Fun:

I know some folks who easily delegate or sidestep responsibilities and duties without a care for how they might be judged. And then there are the rest of us who trudge along with our daily tasks and willingly take on what others offload onto our backs. It's time to take a look at our motives and the results of our choices. Are we helping or enabling? Are we breaking under a burden that should be shared by others? Do we think we must do something ourselves if we want it done right? The stress of being overworked will catch up with us mentally, physically and emotionally. We might think the answer lies in getting more rest, but the Fun card suggests that it is play that will help us truly unwind, relax and get some clarity. As the saying goes, "Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."

Adulting

From the Tarot of the Absurd, the Ten of Sticks; from the Post Psychedelic Cyberpunk deck, Maze:

This card should be called 'adulting.' If we mature into responsible people with duties and obligations, we'll all have those days when life seems overwhelming. Requests and demands can seem like a list we never make a dent in: find, fix, pay, buy, solve, contact, clean, create, finish, etc. The Maze card indicates that lost feeling, when confusion, frustration and exhaustion leave us thinking there is no way out. But is this true? The to-do list might be real enough, but is it possible to delegate, ask for help or leave some things undone until there is less to do? Can we operate from needs rather than expectations?

The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem. —Theodore Isaac Rubin

Oppressed Thinking

From the Tabula Mundi Colores Arcus Tarot, the Ten of Wands; from the Words of the Brehon Oracle, 'The laughing-stocks of the world:'

The Thoth keyword for the Ten of Wands is oppression. Indeed, with the heavy anvil atop the flask, it gives a feeling of being trapped, a cog in a machine that has no choice but to keep going. The hammer and pick in the card are often represent mining, and working in the dark far below ground is an appropriate symbol. Feeling as if we have no free will, it's easy to become frustrated and hopeless. The Brehon triad suggests that those who are angry, jealous or miserly become laughing-stocks. The irony is that these people feel self-righteous about their reaction to the situation, refusing to widen their view. Yet isn't there more to life than these moments that cause us to feel this way? We have the power to step out of such self-identities. We might not be able to choose what we experience, but we can choose how we respond. And that can include leaving behind old patterns that only serve us in detrimental ways. 

Nourishing Pause

This week I'll be using the Morgan Greer Tarot, created by Bill Greer and Lloyd Morgan and published by U.S. Games. I'll also be using the Celtic Book of the Dead, published by Grange Books, created by Caitlin Matthews and illustrated by Danuta Mayer. Today's draws are the Ten of Wands and the Island of Plenteous Salmon:

The Ten of Wands represents an exhausting struggle to complete a task or reach a goal. Sometimes the hardship is self-created when we add too much to an already full load. But other times - such as in the aftermath of a hurricane, a devastating illness, or great loss - we can only play the cards dealt to us. We simply continue to take the next necessary step as best we can. The 'Plenteous Salmon' card is part of the myth of of Maelduin's voyage; it began as a quest for vengeance that was soon forgotten as the Otherworld was explored. Before arriving at this island, the voyagers had spent a week at sea with very little food. The hostel they discovered was empty but filled with food, drink and beds, as if the island itself was offering hospitality to the men. Together, these two cards encourage a nourishing pause that allows us to rest, recover, and proceed with clarity. 

Effort Isn't Stress

From the Rohrig Tarot, the Ten of Wands; from the Master Tarot, the Children:

But effort isn't stress! It's important to distinguish between them: what makes things stressful is when we hold negative emotions against them. –Dr. Rick Hanson

The Thoth version of the Ten of Wands indicates feeling oppressed and having our will thwarted. We want to do something, but are stuck doing something else. The Children card suggests having an open mind and heart, being curious rather then seeing in black and white. As Hanson explains in the quote above, it is our obsessive thinking about how awful or difficult something is that causes most of our stress, not the task or circumstance itself.  

Just an Ember

From the Waking the Wild Spirit Tarot, Glow/Ten of Fire (Wands); from the Saltwater Reading Cards, Sea Anemones:

All that zooming around, busy-as-a-bee lifestyle finally catches up with us in the Ten of Wands. Passion will either burn itself out or the container that carries it. So now is a time to step back, letting our body and all the mind's many plans rest. Trying to get back in the fast lane at this point will only bring an uninspired effort and a second-rate result. Beautiful Sea Anemones might look colorful and delicate, but they can inflict a mighty sting on anyone or thing that gets too close. They suggest that while we might have trained people to expect an unceasing output from us, we might need to retrain them to give us some space so we can restore our physical and mental capacities. In the words of Anne Lamott, "No" is a complete sentence."

Move the Job Along

From the Neuzeit Tarot, the Ten of Wands; from Rory's Story Dice, Music:

A robin feathering his nest

Has very little time to rest

While gathering his bits of twine and twig

Though quite intent in his pursuit

He has a merry tune to toot

He knows a song will move the job along

~from Mary Poppins

I look at all those people lined up like candles on a birthday cake, waiting for me to do the million and one things on my need-to-do list. I went to bed in a blue funk, had a sleepless night, and still find myself in one this morning. My list of duties and obligations seems to grow by the hour, but I'm tired, achy and feel paralyzed to do any of it. Yet the Music die reminds me that staying in this negative head space will neither help me get things done nor feel better. I need a distraction to get unhooked from my thoughts (which will likely help my mood as well). Music might just be the ticket.