Who's Responsible for this Mess?

From the Tarot of the Masters, the King of Cups:

  

Whether the rhythmic pounding of ocean waves or the trickling sound of a stream, listening to the movement of water has always created a feeling of calm in me. The King of Cups has found that peaceful center within himself. The rushing of emotions - anger, grief, anxiety - that drive the actions of so many people just roll off him like water on a duck's back. I was doing my best to channel him when I got a call late last night. A female acquaintance had gotten herself into all sorts of problems because of an addiction, and I got the impression she wanted me to be as upset about the situation as she was. She begged for sympathy and advice about what to do. I've dealt with her too many times before to know she won't do anything I suggest unless it will get her out of the mess she's created. I have compassion for this woman, but I refuse to follow her down the rabbit hole she's in.

From the Key to the Kingdom comes the "Two of Hearts:"

The Big Baboon is found upon

The plains of Cariboo.

He goes about with nothing on

(A shocking thing to do).

But if he dressed respectably

And let his whiskers grow,

How like this Big Baboon would be

To Mister So-and-so!

Clothes, money, heritage or group affiliation don't make a person better or more moral than anyone without those things. I am amazed at the people who feel entitled to being excused for behavior which they would never condone if done by others. In an article on Cracked.com, David Wong wrote, "It's not just that we make excuses for our behavior, it's that we make a really specific excuse: That the person who did the bad thing wasn't the 'real' us." For instance, "I would never have said those hurtful things if I wasn't drunk." I can only take responsibility for my stuff, but I also need to make sure I'm not trying to make a pile of poo smell sweeter when I do it.

Stages and Choices

From the Tarot of the Masters, the Hanged Man:

There are times when my life gets turned upside down; things that I originally deemed necessary to give all my energy and attention suddenly seem unimportant.  At first I fight for control, thinking that somehow I can fix this person or situation, but I find myself powerless.  I usually go through Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  It is this last stage, acceptance, where I can find peace of mind without emotional attachment (as with depression).  If I can find my way to this place, it can have a profound impact on my heart and mind.

     From the Key to the Kingdom deck comes the "Two of Hearts:"

"The Big Baboon is found upon the plains of Cariboo. He goes about with nothing on (A shocking thing to do). But if he dressed respectably and let his whiskers grow, how like this Big Baboon would be to Mister So-and-so!"  ~ Hilaire Belloc

First, a few definitions:
instinct - a complex pattern of behavior embedded in the genes which cannot be overridden by will.
reflex - an involuntary movement in response to a stimulus.
drive - motivation to take action (goal-directed behavior).
Yes, we homo sapiens are humans, and we are also animals.  But I can't blame my bad behavior on my animal nature, because it comes from drives not instincts or reflexes.  If I want to give up my cognitive self-awareness and ability to choose, I might as well go hang out on the plains of Cariboo.