It's Hell Being Average

This week I'll be using the Prairie Tarot, created and self-published by Robin Ator. Paired with it will be the Medicine Cards, a deck and book set published by St. Martin's Press and created by David Carson and Jamie Sams. Today's cards are the Eight of Cups and "Moose:"

If you are going through hell, keep going. 

― Winston S. Churchill

          I can't imagine packing up all my belongings, pets and people into a covered wagon, and then traveling many miles into remote lands. Those pioneers had courage, which is exactly what the Eight of Cups is asking of me. When I'm miserable and feel useless, why stay in this place? Probably because the hell I'm in feels safer than the unknown of change, but as Churchill states, it's not a place I should want to stay. There's undiscovered territory waiting to be explored.

          Carson and Sams have assigned "self-esteem" to describe the message of Moose. After reading several studies by Kristen Neff, I think I would change it to self-compassion instead. Self-esteem requires a constant evaluation and comparison of myself with others. To be positive, it requires me to be special or above-average. On the other hand, self-compassion (according to Neff) has three main components:

(a) self-kindness—being kind and understanding toward oneself in instances of pain or failure rather than being harshly self-critical

(b) common humanity—perceiving one's experiences as part of the larger human experience rather than seeing them as separating and isolating

(c) mindfulness—holding painful thoughts and feelings in balanced awareness rather than over-identifying with them. 

Self-compassion offers the benefits of self-esteem without the downsides. And I think it would give me the courage to pack my wagon and the resilience to keep going until I find what I'm looking for.

Coming to Terms

From the Prairie Tarot, Judgment:

Unlike in the RWS and other similar decks, the only thing rising up out of the ground in this picture are weeds and tombstones. The angel holds her hand out as if giving a blessing, but she doesn't blow her trumpet. Are these people not yet ready for their "aha" moment, for their spiritual awakening? This angel is asking for something I've buried (and tried to ignore) to be dug up, washed off, and looked at with an objective eye. If I can come to terms with it - instead of keeping it wrapped and hidden in shame - then I can give it a proper burial while I am reborn.

From the Medicine Cards today comes "Moose:"

 As the largest member of the deer family who is known for his bugling call, Moose is associated with the medicine of self-esteem. I don't think the Judgment card truly clicked until I drew this one. I'm meeting a long-time friend today that I haven't seen in several months, but I've had a feeling of unease about it. It just dawned on me that I have a tendency to hold up a  yardstick between us, and in my eyes I fall far short. She is adventurous, kind-hearted and beautiful with an illustrious job history and children who are independent and successful. She's always traveling and involved in numerous, exciting activities. But with Moose I have to ask myself, "Surely there is a legitimate reason I have been a part of her circle of friends for all these years."

Taking Care of the Basics

From the Prairie Tarot, the Ace of Pentacles:

The physicality and groundedness of this Ace is shown in the majestic mountains, along with the evergreen trees below.  My friend Jema drew this card the other day and commented on her blog that "we must see to our basic needs first, before setting out to ascend anything," and I heartily agree.  Whether I seek enlightenment or a chance to make a small difference in the world, it is important to make my essential needs a priority.  But just writing that statement makes me feel selfish and self-centered...  Since when did it become "spiritually correct" to ignore your own needs while taking care of others?  Do you get some kind of brownie points for this?

From the Medicine Cards today comes "Moose:"

With his huge rack of antlers that could pass as small trees and his oddly shaped body, Moose may seem like a real pushover in the animal kingdom.  But his awkwardness is not what it appears - he is powerful and agile, easily defending himself and his territory.  This time of year, the male grunts and bellows loudly to attract a mate, having no timidity about advertising himself as a prime candidate.  His call reminds me that it is okay to tell myself I've done a good job; everyone needs a pat on the back even if you're the one that has to do it.  So today I'll give myself a nod for sticking with my daily exercise and healthy eating habits.  It does require making them a priority, and besides, I'm the only one who can do it.