Digging Up the Root

From the Waking the Wild Spirit, the Six of Water; from the Saltwater Reading Cards, Rough Seas:

It takes radical honesty and a good dose of self-compassion to recognize a repetitive pattern.

—Monika Walankiewicz

Rather than a nostalgic look back, Poppy invites us to look within at what maintains our habitual patterns. At some point in our life, we learned behaviors and beliefs which influence our relationships. Yet here is an opportunity to find those roots and question their validity and efficacy. Have we been operating from false or tainted information (including our inner dialogue)? Rough Seas indicates this investigation may feel powerful, disruptive and overwhelming. What is familiar doesn't like to be uprooted for something new. But with honesty and self-compassion, rather than denial and shame, we can begin to grow some new, healthier roots.

Lightning Strikes and Rough Seas

From Waking the Wild Spirit Tarot, the Lightning Tree (Tower); from the Saltwater Reading Cards, 'Rough Seas:'

          The Lightning Tree and Rough Seas cards fit well together. The tree spirit (having experienced an unexpected strike) seems to be intent on offering insights to those currently asea with storms swirling around them. I've been sharing some information with the women I mentor about dealing with tough times, as each of them has had difficult loads to bear of late. Ironically, I learned this week that it's much easier to talk about dealing with hurt and pain than practice what you preach when in the thick of it. The information was however beneficial for me (and helped me cultivate compassion for others), so I thought I would share it with you:

Retraining the Mind

We can easily get caught up in emotional thoughts that don’t always reflect reality accurately. The primitive part of our brain seeks out what keeps us comfortable; it is why we react so strongly to what is pleasant or unpleasant. But our nervous system can be trained to stay with an experience even when things get uncomfortable (I’m not talking here about an actual dangerous situation). For instance, if our boss reviews our work, we might hear some praise and some criticism. If we can stay present instead of getting hooked by our internal stories (“I can’t believe she had the nerve to say that after all the sacrifices I’ve made!”), we won’t end up reacting out of attachment, aversion or delusion. How do we do this?

a) Stay in the body – It is tempting to try to find refuge in the mind and think our way out of a situation, but our emotions will usually override our clarity and objectivity. Find the part of the body where you feel the emotion (it may feel constricted, hot, cold or heavy); don’t analyze it, just be present with the bodily sensation only (as if you would later describe symptoms to a nurse).
b) Don’t self-identify – Instead of telling yourself, “I’m so overwhelmed” or “I’m so angry,” remind yourself that this is passing not permanent by saying “This is a moment of suffering.” (Place a hand on your heart.) "Suffering is a natural part of life." (I'm not the only one.) "May I be tender with myself." (Don't judge, just be gentle.)When we identify with the emotion, it tends to stick in the mind as if it is a permanent part of us instead of something passing. As Jan Karon wrote, “We don’t have to define ourselves by our wounds.” [The three-part 'mantra' was adapted from the teachings of Kristin Neff.]
c) Choose mindfully - Ask yourself, what behavior pattern do I want to strengthen?