Riding the Wheel

From the Urban Tarot, the Wheel of Fortune; from the Principles to Live By, Forgiveness:

The neurotic is nailed to the cross of his fiction.

~Alfred Adler

Just when we think we can't endure another thing, our fortunes change. Then weeks later, when we think life couldn't get any better, it goes into a tailspin. Do we blame the universe for the hardships we face and claim the glory of any good fortune? Our choices and actions can influence a lot of our luck, but sometimes we have absolutely no control over the roll of the dice. How do we deal with riding on this Wheel without becoming neurotic? Acceptance, adaptation and an appropriate response help. It's also beneficial if we can let go of any anger, whether it's directed at ourselves or the ebb and flow of life. The quote for Forgiveness cautions us what will happen otherwise: "The present is endlessly overwhelmed and devoured by the past" (Lance Morrow).

Any Moment Now

One way to appreciate virtually any moment of your life 

is to pretend that the whole thing is already over. ―David Cain

          In the evening at a park, people have gathered to grill out and relax. Perhaps they are waiting for fireworks when the sun goes down. But eventually, the day will end and another day of work will begin. Will they fully appreciate this day, or will they spend it anticipating the 'likes' they'll get when they post pictures on Instagram or Facebook? Will they enjoy the belly laughs and beauty around them, or will they be stuck in the past reliving a moment that didn't go their way? Life is happening around us; how lucky we are to be here with the ability to choose how we will respond to our experience. Forgiveness is the ability to accept what has happened while finding a way to live peacefully with it. To hold onto anger and resentment is like scraping off scabs of our hurt and rubbing dirt in our wound. The band-aide suggests leaving the memory alone, to stop poking and prodding it. Our agitated thoughts only infect and make things worse. Forgiveness unlocks our hearts and minds, letting us fully participate in and enjoy our moments.

If you can not even find a bit of happiness in your everyday life, you are sure to never see it in the major events either. Enjoy every moment you have.

―Christine Szymanski

Words of Wisdom

From the Gill Tarot, the Two of Cups; from The Circle, Forgiveness:

If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love. We must look deeply in order to see and understand the needs, aspirations, and suffering of the person we love. This is the ground of real love. You cannot resist loving another person when you really understand him or her.  ―Thich Nhat Hanh

When you recognize that pain and response to pain is a universal thing, it helps explain so many things about others, just as it explains so much about yourself … It essentially tells you what everybody needs. You know what everybody needs? You want to put it in a single word? Everybody needs to be understood. And out of that comes every form of love.  ―Sherwin Nuland

Forgiveness is a deep process, which is repeated over and over and over again in our hearts. It honors the grief and it honors the betrayal. And in its own time, it ripens into the freedom to truly forgive. And if we look honestly at our own lives, we can see the sorrows and pain that have led to our own wrongdoing. We’re not just victims; sometimes we also need to be forgiven. And in this way we can finally extend forgiveness to ourselves and hold the pain that we have caused in the heart of compassion.  ―Gina Sharpe

The process of forgiveness demands courage and a continual remembering of where our deepest happiness lies.  —Sharon Salzberg

The Passionate Ones

From the Tarrochi Celtici, the Queen of Fire (Wands); from the Elements of Recovery, Forgiveness:

          The Queen of Fire is associated with the ogham Ngetal (healing) and Reed (harmony). Behind the reeds is a Celtic statue called The Great Dancer, and in front is a stone eagle that originally sat atop a lintel (both artifacts were found in France). The eagle, a hunter of day, contrasts with the owl, a hunter of night. Just as these birds look for food to fuel their bodies, so this fiery fairy looks for resources to keep her projects moving forward. The dancer complements this Queen, who is an energetic mover and shaker. She is described as having "lasting passion," and she seems to be plugging in to her element to stay fully charged in this card. Passionate people do have an Achilles heel, and that is their temper and lack of patience. They can impulsively lash out at people, leaving those who have been flailed with a burning resentment. Forgiveness is a tough principle to engage, especially if one has been the object of someone else's rage. To practice it, we must accept what has happened and find a way to live peacefully with it.Yet we don't have to condone or continue to endure an injustice - we can still speak out, set boundaries and make changes. Forgiveness heals the forgiver. Without it, "our lives are chained, forced to carry the sufferings of the past and repeat them with no release (Jack Kornfield)." Imagine having the same hurtful event repeat itself each day, over and over without end. That's what internal rage does to us (as we replay it mentally), and we're the ones who suffer. It is healthier for us to work through and let go of our anger; in the process, we may just teach the passionate ones what kindness and forgiveness actually look like.

Cupful of Mercy

From the Whimsical Tarot, the Knight of Cups; from the Over the Moon Oracle, "Forgiveness:"

           The Whimsical's knight is Sir Lancelot of the Round Table. The tales of Lancelot, champion of King Arthur, could supply enough material for psychologists to write multiple books. Kind and courageous, he was flawed when it came to tamping down his desire for Guinevere. Many blamed his affair with the king's wife as the crack in Camelot that would lead to its destruction. After Arthur's death, Guinevere became a nun and Lancelot a priest as a way of penitence. Which leads to the next card, Forgiveness. What price does someone have to pay to receive a pardon? I think most people want the impossible: for history to be rewritten so the act never happened. Whether I am the deceiver or the deceived, a person's whole identity can suddenly become the awful deed itself. I must look outside the story to find mercy, actively look for other more compassionate and loving acts beyond that story. Surely no one has only one chapter in their life.

Forced Cooperation?

From the Spiral Tarot, the Three of Cups; from the Sacred Journey Cards, "Forgiveness:"

          Now who in their right mind goes dancing and prancing in the pumpkin patch while wearing such formal attire? I'll bet when they accidentally step on a pumpkin and ruin their satin shoes, they'll be upset. These ladies appear much too restrained for the Three of Cups for my taste. They are doing what is expected of them, but there doesn't seem to be any authentic, let-your-hair-down celebration going on. The SJ card suggests forgiveness is an issue. Have you ever signed on for something out of a sense of obligation then regretted it later? I always feel resentful in those types of situations. The joy of service that might naturally be present is removed by believing I was forced to cooperate. Yet I am holding someone responsible for something they didn't do. I was the one who agreed to help, so the fault rests on my shoulders. If I can forgive myself for not being honest and let the other party off the hook, I'll bet we'll be shimmying and shaking in no time with real exuberance.

The Way Forward

From the Legacy of the Divine, the Eight of Wands; from Steps to Serenity, "Forgiveness:"

          Marchetti describes this card as eight wands breaking through the clouds to open sky. We're now "free to move ahead, get things going, and implement some of our ideas." The Archer depicted in the sky is a symbol of Sagittarius, representing energy, optimism and exploration. But how do we get through the clouds to find that freedom of expression? Forgiveness. I was listening to a Tara Brach meditation on this topic, and she said, "If we hold onto our blame, we bypass the feelings that most need our attention for healing. We avoid the hurt and loss that need processing. Vengeance is a lazy form of grief, and it prevents us from moving forward in our life as a whole, awakened being." It might not just be someone else I need to forgive, but myself as well.
          To all my blogging friends and acquaintances, no matter what Season of Light you celebrate, I wish you good health, happiness and a ready sense of humor to accompany you along the way.

It Sounds Good, But...

From the Touchstone Tarot, the Knight of Swords:

This tough guy looks like he has issued an ultimatum, "Stop your whining and excuses, and tell me the truth!" Behind him on a wall beneath the window is a moth. Though these insects are attracted to bright lights (positive phototaxis), they don't actually incinerate themselves in most cases. Instead, they move around the light at a distance of approximately one foot. The Knight of Swords demands that I cut through the emotional dust storm and look at a situation from a realistic viewpoint (the moth's bright light). I don't need to fall on my sword when I see the truth, but I will need to take positive action.

From the Oracle of the Grail Code comes "Forgiveness:"

Forgive, sounds good.

Forget, I'm not sure I could.

They say time heals everything,

But I'm still waiting.

~ Dixie Chicks

Funny that the moth from the top card has now turned into a butterfly on this card. Can a person forgive while at the same time protect themselves from being emotionally manipulated and hurt again? I personally think it is naive to trust an untrustworthy person again, even if I let go of the hurt and anger. The irony is that my forgiveness is not a gift to the other person but to myself. Otherwise, they get free rent in my head.

A Different Kind of Freedom

  From the Golden Dawn Tarot, another major arcana card, Death:

Ever since I've read the Terry Prachett Discworld series that features the character Death in most of the stories, I just can't feel bad about this guy.  When the sand runs out of your hour glass, he goes to collect your soul and send it off to the next realm; no hard feelings, it's just his job.  If only I could feel that way about all the endings that happen in my life, especially those that catch me off guard, knock the breath out of me, and make my legs turn to jelly.  In this depiction, a flaming serpent (the creative life force), rises to meet a falcon (Horus, the Egyptian sky/sun god).  In the left corner, a solar eclipse is occurring - an encouraging sign that though things may seem dark now, the sun (clarity and understanding) will eventually return.  Disintegration first, transformation later...

     From The Circle, "Forgiveness:"

Some of the greatest lessons I've learned about forgiveness came from Jack Kornfield's  book, The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness and Peace.  Here are a few quotes that I refer to often; they remind why I need to make it a daily practice:

    Traditionally the work of the heart begins with forgiveness.  Forgiveness is the necessary ground for any healing.  Without forgiveness our lives are chained, forced to carry the sufferings of the past and repeat them with no release.
    It is painful to hate.  Without forgiveness we continue to perpetuate the illusion that hate can heal our pain and the pain of others.  The past is over:  Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.
    Forgiveness does not happen quickly.  It may include a long process of grief, outrage, sadness, loss, and pain.  True forgiveness does not paper over what has happened in a superficial way.  It is a deep process repeated over and over in our heart which honors the grief and betrayal, and in its own time ripens into the freedom to truly forgive.
    Forgiveness does not forget, nor does it condone the past.  Forgiveness sees wisely.  When we forgive we can also say, "Never again will I allow these things to happen."  Forgiveness does not mean that we have to continue to relate to those who have done us harm.  In the end, it simply means never putting another person out of our heart.