Empathic Distress

From Tarot by Caro, the Queen of Cups; from the Holitzka I Ching, Hexagram 37:

Technology amplifies empathic distress. We’re exposed daily to the world’s grief in real time. Every tragedy can feel personal, every injustice, a summons to act.

―Shermin Kruse 

Though this Queen is quite comfortable with the world of emotions, she protects her cup as a giant wave threatens to sweep it away. Seneca reminds us, “Reason wishes to give calm to our emotions, not to root them out.” Rather than indifference or drowning, logic and critical thinking can guide our actions. Shermin Kruse offers three ways to practice:

• Pause Before You Fix - expand the space between stimulus and response.
• Redraw the Circle of Concern - distinguish what can be controlled from what cannot.
• Practice Connection with Boundaries - witness and assist, without allowing empathy to become ego (their emotion is theirs).

Hexagram 37 refers to family or kinship; it is a safe place where there is a mutual sharing of support. This group is what helps us have the confidence and strength to meet the suffering in the world with compassion that has cognitive boundaries.

Just a Steak

 From the Tarot by Caro, the Six of Swords; from the Holitzka I Ching, Hexagram 53:

The greatest stress you go through when dealing with a difficult person is not fueled by the words and actions of the person - it is fueled by your mind that gives their words and actions importance. 

–Stephen White

This card invites us to learn from past experiences in order to stop repeating them. My husband decided he wanted to grill a steak this week and went up to Publix to talk to the butcher (wanting a quality cut for what he would pay). The butcher told him he was a Trump supporter, but my husband sidestepped that landmine and said, "That's okay, I just want a good steak." He knows it's useless to try to reason with unreasonable people. Hexagram 53 is titled Gradual Progress; instead of pushing our way to where we want to be, we take the steps we need to get there. A quote from Marc Chernoff ties these two cards together well: "The most effective way to move away from something you don’t want, is to move toward something you do want, one step at a time."

Coming and Staying

From Tarot by Caro, the Ten of Cups; from the Holitzka I Ching, Hexagram 13:

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.

―Henry Ford

Anyone who's ever owned a house knows that no matter how nice it is, it will require upkeep. Families and partnerships are no different. People change as the years go by and develop new ideas and activities. Unity can thrive with diversity if we don't assume everyone needs to be the same. Emotional awareness (the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions and those of others) and emotional intelligence (using emotional awareness to guide thinking and behavior) are important keys. Hexagram 13 is about gathering with others; it encourages us to step out of our comfort zone and interact. Outside groups can teach us how to deal with disruptions and disagreements without resentment or animosity. Sounds like a great way to learn some skills to keep a family together too. 

Dog Treats for People

From Tarot by Caro, Strength; from the Holitzka I Ching, Hexagram 61:

Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy, and mutual valuing.

―Rollo May

This particular Strength card always makes me think of dog shows and the way handlers slip treats to their pup. Luring is a positive training technique; the handler often slips a treat in their own mouth to keep the dog's focus on them. Whether we're training ourselves to be patient (as opposed to I want this NOW) or courage (rather than hiding our heads under the covers), we need to reinforce our own progress. Though dog treats aren't suggested, congratulating ourselves on taking some steps in right direction is helpful. Hexagram 61 is titled Inner Truth and reminds us that we all have ideals and values we hold. When dealing with difficult situations, we must have the courage and patience to step across the line of our own views and see others' perspectives. When we listen sincerely and speak respectfully, we may open roads that were formerly closed.

Ride the Tide

From the Tarot by Caro, the Two of Pentacles; from the Holitzka I Ching, Hexagram 1:

There is a tide in the affairs of men...

―William Shakespeare

Looks like it's a high tide kind of day, so we better start it with a large cup of caffeine. But above all, we need to prioritize, doing what is most important, what other things hinge on, first. Other tasks that don't really need our oversight can be delegated (let's forget the "but I'm the only one that can do it right" for now). The goal is to get things done while maintaining our sanity and sense of humor. Hexagram 1 has been given several names: the Dynamic, the Receptive and the Creative. Things are constantly in motion and changing, and we would do best to accept things instead of battle them; instead, we focus on creative solutions.

As a Whole

 From Tarot by Caro, the High Priestess; from the Holitzka I Ching, Hexagram 8:

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.

―John Donne

The pomegranates on the High Priestess card are a nod to Persephone (something hidden), the hems of priestly garments (wisdom), and Solomon's temple (an inner essence). She invites us to stop looking outside ourselves for answers and take a peek within. If we plant the seeds we find, they will lead to a wise and fruitful outcome. One insight available is that nothing is independent - everything depends on various causes and conditions to exist, each subject to change. Our actions (or inaction) might instigate such change, creating support or imbalance for the whole. Hexagram 8 represents cohesion, when a group of people focus on what's important and needed rather than on personal, petty things. Kind of like a President obsessed with Big Macs and ballrooms rather than focusing on the services and assistance his constituents need.

Luminous Mind - BK

Hard Choices

This week I'll be using Tarot by Caro, created and self-published by Caroline Clarke. The oracle I'll be drawing from is the I Ching, illustrated by Klaus Holitzka with instructions by Marlies Holitzka; it is published by AGM Urania. Today's cards are the Seven of Cups and Hexagram 17:

Your life is determined by the sum of the choices that YOU make.

―Frank Sonnenberg

Ask anyone what brings them pleasure, and they'll surely have a ready list. Yet ask what brings them fulfillment and contentment, and that's likely to cause a pause in the conversation. We're constantly making choices based on whether something will require struggle and challenge or if we'll receive instant pleasure and gratification from it. But sometimes what involves effort brings us the greatest joy and what seems easy bring boredom and restlessness. The hexagram 'Following' indicates moving smoothly and willingly with reality - in other words, adapting. Flowing down the river of life brings boulders we must go around, eddies to get unstuck from, and fast-moving rapids we must navigate. But those difficulties often teach us what we're good at, what excites us, and what might bring us emotional fulfillment.