Moments Big As Years

From the Light Seer's Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the Tapestry Oracle, Congregation:

We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams. ―Jeremy Irons

This card made my heart squeeze a little, remembering our sweet Auggie Doggie who adopted us. She could climb a fence like a cat, and decided our house was now her house. Good memories are good medicine as long as we don't get stuck in them. They help us exit negative thinking and can aid in increasing our sense of well-being. Congregation offers us present-day medicine. Being a part of a group, knowing that someone has our back and is there to celebrate our achievements, is beneficial in experiencing the joys and challenges of life. Whether pets or people, we are social animals.

As we've gotten older, we seem to just collect stray cats rather than dogs. Our latest addition is Tadpole, who came to us starving (weighing only a few ounces), blind in one eye, and making noises like a spring peeper because of a respiratory infection. He's now about 13 lbs. and is walked daily on a leash in the yard because he's so full of energy. He's outgrown his name, so we just call him Taddy Boy.

Well Lived Life

From the Light Seer's Tarot, the King of Wands; from the Tapestry Oracle, Pride:

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.

—Bessie Anderson Stanley

This King believes in living a full, well-lived life, not simply as a leader, but as a companion to others. Known for his charisma and guidance, his curiosity remains intact. He is a creative visionary, and he encourages us to follow our own innovative ideas and think outside the box. Pride shows a one-legged warrior who lifts his chin to those who offer him pity. He knows he is strong and capable; however, he has learned not to turn down someone who offers a hand in kindness, who regards him as an equal. On our own journey of following what pulls us, there will always be those who attempt to force us to do things their way. Skip their advice and look for those who help without trying to control.  

Real Wealth

From the Light Seer's Tarot, the Ten of Pentacles; from the Tapestry Oracle, Source:

Contentment is the only real wealth. 

―Alfred Nobel

In 2000, a middle-income family could expect to spend roughly $9,201 per year to raise a child; in 2025 that figure jumped to $20,787. A lavish lifestyle can jack up that number to an astronomical level. Money is important to survive in this world, to provide for basic necessities, but is it worth our physical and mental health to work multiple jobs or excess hours to keep up with the 'happiness' portrayed by TV ads and social media? Source suggests we find activities that ground and nurture us, those that don't require us to empty our wallets. As Sharon Salzberg advises, "We need to find ordinary things that can give us a break, can sustain our energy and optimism to keep us going."

Up for It

From the Light Seer's Tarot, the Page of Wands; from the Tapestry Oracle, Fate:

Every why hath a wherefore.

―William Shakespeare

Good luck getting this high energy gal to sit still in a desk for a long period of time. She responds to and thrives on new sounds, sights and experiences, always ready for a challenge or for testing something innovative. Creating rather than settling for the same old same old stokes this Page's enthusiasm. No one gets bored in her company (tired maybe, but not bored). On the other end of the spectrum is Fate, often defined as something that unavoidably befalls a person. Are there things we can't change, that force us to float in that boat with the tide? We can't change our genetics or the past, but we can make an effort in the present that will affect our future. And if we need some encouragement and inspiration, we should invite a Page of Wands along. She'll probably have us carving some oars.

Closed Clam

From the Light Seer's Tarot, the Seven of Wands; from the Tapestry Oracle, Reflection:

Listen to others, but do not become a blind follower. 

―Thurgood Marshall

Try to do anything new or different, whether it's learning a new language, writing a novel or changing careers, and the pessimists and naysayers will appear. Commitment can mean keeping our head down and doing the work without getting distracted. But this young woman has enclosed herself in a bubble, completely walling off herself from any comments. Reflection asks us to consider if there is no room for advice in the methods we're using. Have we taken such a rigid stance that we refuse to hear any other perspectives, compromises or alternatives? There might be a nugget of wisdom in what those worriers and cynics are shoveling at us.

Come and See

From the Light Seer's Tarot, the King of Cups; from the Tapestry Oracle, Faith:

When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life.

— Tara Meyer Robson

In a leadership position, the King of Cups must be a good diplomat, listening to what the other person needs and skillfully communicating how that need might be met without conflict. Diplomacy also requires emotional intelligence: the ability to be aware of and manage his own emotions while understanding how they influence his interactions with others. The King connects with his senses to ground himself when emotions are especially intense - the smell of the ocean air, the feel of the water, and the sound of the waves. He has Faith in his technique to calm himself because he has verified it through use. He invites us to try this direct experience for ourselves. 

Turning Towards

This week I'll be using the Light Seer's Tarot, created by Chris-Anne Donnelly and published by Hay House. The other deck I'll be drawing from is the Tapestry Oracle, created and self-published by Kendall Eifler. Today's draws are the Moon and Nurture:

We turn away from the difficult, we turn away from freedom.

—Anshin Devin Ashwood

Emotions that we thought had been tamped down, stuffed into our subconscious mind, have a way of reappearing and pulling us under. Grief, anger or fear can wrap us in their tentacles. Father's Day has this effect on me, after having three dads - one that abandoned, one that abused, and one that loved but died unexpectantly. Yet emotions don't want to hurt us, we just need to feel them without attaching any stories. As the discomfort fills our body, we allow their intensity to crest, then fall away. Nurture reminds us to offer ourselves the warmth of unconditional kindness when these emotions knock us off our feet. As Anne Lamott reminds us, "“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you."

Don't Spill the Beans

From the Neuzeit Tarot, the Knight of Swords; from Rory's Story Cubes, Beans:

Today's gossip is tomorrow's headline. 

—Walter Winchell

Blocking the road, this Knight of Swords forces us to pause before we go running off to call, text or post some tantalizing or inflammatory information that we've heard or read. He's a lover of truth and a hater of gossips, liars and hypocrites. His big book is like consulting Snopes or FactCheck to see if what we're about to let loose is fact, fiction or a mixture of both. Beans bring to mind a quote by Rudyard Kipling: “Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” Spreading unchecked information might give us a thrill, but those words are like unknown seeds that we plant that could boomerang on us. It might be wise not to "spill the beans."

Posted: No Swimming

From the Neuzeit Tarot, the Six of Swords; from Rory's Story Cubes, the Bridge:

Recurring, unhelpful thought patterns shape how we feel and what we do. They feed into anxiety and anger. They limit us...

—Rick Hanson

Last night, I saw a recommendation by cardiologists that advised people not to check their smart phones for an hour after awakening because it can set a negative, reactive tone for the rest of the day. In this card, four sharp tips point outward, as if looking for people, places and things that have caused our anger or fear. But two tips point at each other, an acknowledgement that the agitation and unease we feel is rooted within us. The Bridge offers us an option, which neuropsychologist Rick Hanson explains: "We don't have to believe our thoughts—we can recognize that they are just thoughts. We can step back and evaluate whether or not our thought patterns are truly serving us, or reinforcing limitations, assumptions, and self-doubt." That stream of thoughts will always be there, but we don't have to swim in them.

Traditions

From the Neuzeit Tarot, the Two of Wands; from Rory's Story Cubes, the Whip:

There's a need to respect the past, but it's a mistake to revere your past. 

―Bob Iger

The figures representing the two wands on this card remind me of a mother and daughter. One represents tradition and the other innovation. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the familiar ways of doing things, but change (the Whip) can force us to do something new. My mom has hosted Thanksgiving dinner for many years, doing the bulk of the cooking (and declining most offers to help). But at 87, she tires more easily, and having a lot of things cooking at once has become like spinning plates. She has decided that we'll still gather together but forgo the turkey and dressing and just have something very simple to eat. When traditions are replaced, it is important to realize we don't have to get upset if we consider the root of their purpose - in this case, the gratitude of simply being together.

Master of Patience

From the Neuzeit Tarot, the Three of Pentacles; from Rory's Story Cubes, the Turtle:

A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.

―George Savile

In the Three of Pentacles card, the illustrations on each coin offer symbols which represent the way to master a skill. Leonardo's Vitruvian Man (influenced by the writings of Roman architect and engineer, Vitruvius), suggests an understanding of proportion and measurement - or learning the basics. The four-axis labyrinth pattern (such as in the Chartres Cathedral) represents pilgrimage, an acknowledgement that this will be a journey (not a quick hop) in finding what we seek. The thirteen-pointed star, or tridecagram, is often linked to ideas of growth, transformation, and completion (developing expertise). Logging thousands of oceanic miles each year, Turtle reminds us that even when we become a master in our field, we need to keep looking for inspiration and exploring new developments. With any skill, learning never stops.

Make Your Own Recipe

From the Neuzeit Tarot, the Magician; from Rory's Story Dice, Scales:

The first time you make something, follow the recipe, then figure out how to tailor it to your own tastes. ―Ruth Reichl

When I pulled this tarot in the dim light of morning, I could have sworn it was a club DJ mixing some music. But the Magician is similar, in that he uses his tools and resources to create something. Like the DJ, he might manifest what is expected, following directions that are given. But when he realizes that he has a gift - though perhaps not like others - he can expand how things are mixed and made. As the Scales show, just doing things to please others can create imbalances. In the words of Carl Jung, "The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases."

Costs Too Much

From the Neuzeit Tarot, the Page of Pentacles; from Rory's Story Cubes, Temple Gateway:

Money often costs too much, and power and pleasure are not cheap.

―Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Page of Pentacles has been studying capitalism and has stumbled across a way to earn a lot of money. Studies on state lotteries have shown that people in lower-income groups gamble more frequently and spend a larger proportion of their income than any other group. Though the odds of winning are slim and none, desperate people do desperate things. The Temple Gateway suggests that this Page needs to learn that while money isn't evil, accumulating wealth is not the way to happiness. When it is made off the backs of the poor, using the vulnerable for one's own benefit, it crushes our compassion, increases our selfishness, and turns us into someone we might not recognize down the road.

Dandelion Seeds

This week I'll be using the Neuzeit Tarot created by Walter Wegmuller and published by AG Muller. The "oracle" I'll be using is a combination of two sets of dice: Rory's Story Cubes and Rory's Story Cubes - Voyages.  These dice were created by Rory O'Connor and produced by Gamewright. Today's card and die are the Fool and Possibilities:

 Starting from zero, got nothing to lose

Maybe we'll make something

Me, myself, I got nothing to prove

―Tracy Chapman

Dandelion seeds, able to float on a breeze, symbolize the release of aspirations and dreams into the world. This Fool releases a seed (and more drop from his pocket) as he steps off a cliff into the unknown. He is fearless, curious and trusting, having no hurdles of expectations to leap over. The Possibilities cube looks like a compass rose, showing the many different directions the Fool can go. He embodies the words of Robert Schuller: "What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"

Peaks and Valleys

From the Idiosyncradeck Tarot, the Lovers: from the Mixed Emotions Card, Proud:

Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys.

 —Nicholas Sparks

Flamingos form strong pair bonds and consider compatibility when choosing a friend or mate. These kinds of relationships are meant for the long-haul, knowing that whatever storms come will be faced as a team. Such lifelong partners enjoy an easy companionship, share memories, know each other's vices and virtues, and offer support and encouragement. As the flamingos can attest, it can be good to be particular about who we choose. Proud suggests we give ourselves a pat on the back if we've managed to find a mate, friend or partner with whom we've stuck with and grown with for a lengthy period of time. These relationships are worth celebrating at every opportunity.

My Own Yardstick

From the Idiosyncradeck Tarot, the Page of Arrows (Wands); from the Mixed Emotions Cards, Stressed:

The biggest competition is myself. I am not looking to follow others or pull them down. I'm planning to test my own boundaries. ―Jung Ji-hoon (Rain)

The Page of Wands/Arrows, judging by the leaves, has had some success in his endeavors. His arrow is painted as if keeping a tally of his victories over others. What he hasn't figured out is that there will always be people less creative and noteworthy than him, yet there will also be those who excel beyond him. Excessive competition can generate fraud and unethical behavior as well as leave one's self-esteem in tatters, which explains the Stressed card. Competition only generates one winner. Instead, we can compete with our self, comparing what we've done to what we're currently doing. Rather than focusing on what others are doing, we can experiment and expand in directions that interest us. 

Shades of Gray

From the Idiosyncradeck, Temperance; from the Mixed Emotions Cards, Confusion:

The spaces in between, where absolutes blur, are where growth and understanding thrive. 

―Liz Durden-Myers

The creator's comment on this card was, "Even when it's dark, there's light." We have been trained to think that our security and stability comes from choosing what is right and good and avoiding what is wrong and bad, as if things were clearly marked and defined. Confused is what happens when we experience cognitive dissonance, realizing that two different beliefs could both be true. While binary thinking may be helpful in making quick decisions, Durden-Myers explains that it stifles our creativity, creates societal divisions and overlooks the complexity of life. There's a lot of good in seeing in shades of gray rather than only black or white.

Relationship Saves Everything

From the Idiosyncradeck Tarot, the Tower; from the Mixed Emotions Cards, Hopelessness:

This is how I want to journey through this time of increasing uncertainty. Groundless, hopeless, insecure, patient, clear. And together. ―Margaret Wheatley

These cards sum up my feelings today as  federal grant cuts are hitting our community hard: our local Arts Council will be closing; the Job Corps (that houses and teaches skills to at-risk teens - currently 500) is closing; and our inter-library book loan service (that allows us to borrow books from other libraries in GA that our library doesn't have) will cease. And while Emory hospital is not local, our region has relied on its cutting-edge technology and treatments (which recently saved my husband's life); they lost all of their grants as well. I recently came across this essay by Wheatley, and instead of sitting in a blue funk, I'll share some of her words of wisdom:

I read a quote from Rudolf Bahro that did help: "When the forms of an old culture are dying, the new culture is created by a few people who are not afraid to be insecure." Could insecurity, self-doubt, be a good trait? I find it hard to imagine how I can work for the future without feeling grounded in the belief that my actions will make a difference. 

Being liberated from results, giving up outcomes, doing what feels right rather than effective. He helps me recall the Buddhist teaching that hopelessness is not the opposite of hope. Fear is. Hope and fear are inescapable partners. Anytime we hope for a certain outcome, and work hard to make it a happen, then we also introduce fear...

In a letter to a friend, Thomas Merton advised: "Do not depend on the hope of results . . .you may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself. . . .you gradually struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people . . . .In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that saves everything."

Crumbling Infrastructure

From the Idiosyncradeck Tarot, the Ten of Swords; from the Mixed Emotions Cards, Relieved:

If a given idea has been held in the human mind for many generations, as almost all our common ideas have, it takes sincere and continued effort to remove it; and if it is one of the oldest we have in stock, one of the big, common, unquestioned world ideas, vast is the labor of those who seek to change it.

― Charlotte Perkins Gilman

We grow up with a culture and society that firmly shape our ideas. As we age, we may drop some of our views and add others. But occasionally, the whole framework we've rested our purpose and meaning on comes crashing down - we see that what we've held dearly as righteous fact is only a skewed opinion. We had been believing what someone told us was true, often to keep us toeing a line. Not having that structure to rely on may leave us in an uncertain limbo. Yet Relieved suggests we look at it as an expansive freedom that gives us the opportunity to explore and investigate on our own. What amazing things we might learn!

Muddy Reading

From the Idiosyncradeck Tarot, the Moon; from the Mixed Emotions Cards, Vulnerable:

Suspicion comes out of the unrenewed mind; discernment comes out of the renewed spirit.

―Joyce Meyer

"Don't make any major decisions for a year" is advice often heard in the rooms of recovery. It usually takes that long for the brain to recover and come back online so that we see and understand reality clearly. The Moon suggests a pause as well, either because we are physically exhausted, emotionally drained, or currently in the middle of drama or chaos. Vulnerable suggests we are unprotected because of a lack of discernment. We're not processing information and facts accurately at the moment, and should heed Lao Tzu's question: "Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear?"

Not Okay

This week I'll be using the Idiosyncradeck Tarot, created and self-published by Jessica Bott. Along with it, I'll be drawing from the Mixed Emotions Cards, created by Petra Martin with Kris Wiltse (Illustrator) and published by Heron Lake Press. Today's draws are the Five of Stones and Loving:

I am not okay

I'm barely gettin' by

I'm losin' track of days

And losin' sleep at night

I am not okay

I'm hangin' on the rails

So if I say I'm fine

Just know I learned to hide it well

―Jelly Roll

This stone has been eroded by flood, wind and precipitation to the point that just a gust of wind could topple it. It's the same way with humans, when we get hit time and time again with unexpected events, hardship and emotional challenges. We barely have time to get to our feet when we get knocked down again. When sincere folks ask how we're coping, do we answer "Fine"? We all know what that stands for: f#cked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. The Loving card encourages us to drop the tough act and be honest, including being tender to our self. Doing so would allow others to reach behind the wall we've erected and offer support.

Letting the Clouds Clear

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the Hanged Man; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Teacup:

Acceptance doesn't mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there's got to be a way through it. ―Michael J. Fox

Because humans aren't always adept at learning lessons through unexpected circumstances or from encounters with others, life has a way of grabbing us by the nape of the neck and putting us in time-out to reconsider our perspective. Teacup symbolizes replenishment, taking time to restore what is depleted in us. In this case, it is our peace of mind. Feeling powerless stirs up anger, which only clouds our clarity. But taking time to let go of our story so that we can see what is true can help us to see what would be useful and beneficial rather than creating more damage.

Are You Crying?!

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the King of Swords; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Clover:

Are you crying?! There's no crying in baseball!

―Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own

This King has no patience for histrionics, whether that is sobbing or stomping and ranting. He believes such an exaggerated display of emotions distracts from the real issue and prevents factual details from being known. He'd probably tell us to go for a long walk and come back when we're calmer and more lucid. What would the King of Swords say about the Clover, a symbol of comfort and good luck? Likely, he would quote Thomas Hardy, "Some folk want their luck buttered." Though many events and circumstances are beyond our control (some lucky, some not), we can develop a more useful response to them if we've cultivated flexibility, knowledge, perseverance, and a healthy work ethic. Histrionics might feel good, but they won't get us around the bases.

Remembrance

From the Dark Mansion, the Six of Cups; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Buckle:

Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.

― Jane Austen

Resentment and nostalgia are two very different kinds of remembrance with very dissimilar impacts on our physical and mental health. The Six of Cups and Buckle ("holding things together") made me think of psychologist Rick Hanson who is a proponent of relishing good memories: "Taking in the good is not about putting a happy shiny face on everything, nor is it about turning away from the hard things in life. It's about nourishing well-being, contentment, and peace inside that are refuges you can always come from and return to." According to Hanson, mentally staying with those positive experiences for a bit can turn a passing mental state into a lasting neural structure. We build our memories into a harbor of resilience.