Grief

This week I'll be using the Spacious Tarot, a self-published deck that was a collaboration between Annie Ruygt and Carrie Mallon. I'll also be using the Phenomena Oracle, a deck self-published by Jessica Bott. Today's draws are Death and the Sun:

I want you, I need you, oh God,

Don't take

These beautiful things that I've got.

–Benson Boone

There is nothing in the physical world that doesn't have an expiration date. Yet the booklet reminds us that Death is an unbiased, neutral force; life cannot exist without decay. As nature teaches, it is that decay which nourishes that which comes next. But first we grieve our losses. The Sun suggests clarity, warmth and energy, and in the case of an ending, acceptance. We begin to see that although the hurt still lingers, we recognize that joy, beauty, and goodness still abounds.

You will not ‘get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to. –Elisabeth Kubler-Ross​

Have Fun With It

From the Tarot of the Masters, the Eight of Coins; from the Key to the Kingdom, the Five of Clubs:

Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun. — Mary Lou Cook

This drawing is based on The Needlewoman, a painting by Diego Velazquez. Ricklef suggests the Eight of Coins urges us to exercise our skills with fulfillment and satisfaction. Those who have talents and make a living from them are often expected to crank out more and more, like the writer of a best-selling novel who then has expectations and deadlines hanging over her head. In our drive to be successful, we take the fun of playing around out of practicing our craft. The Five of Clubs card is paired with a rhyme about bats, the ending of which says: "For something is amiss or out of place, when mice with ears can wear a face." Fear of the unknown can cause us to make choices we likely would not have made if we were thinking clearly. Whatever our talent, experimenting can only help us in the long run as what is popular or wanted by our patrons will change over time.

Just a Sham

From the Tarot of the Masters, the Three of Swords; from the Key to the Kingdom, the Jack of Clubs:

Let them believe that they're loved and wanted and then show them that it's all a sham.

― Agatha Christie

Ricklef's sketch is based on Gustave Courbet's Girl with Seagulls. Used as the Three of Swords, it reminds me of the baiting used to hunt game and birds. The animals see it as an offering of food and end up paying for their trust with their lives. How do we know if people are trustworthy and won't betray our love or friendship? We watch rather than just listen. Do they omit or exaggerate important details? Do they follow up on promises in a timely manner? Do they keep confidences? As Terry Goodkind wrote, "Only those you trust can betray you." The Jack of Clubs is paired with a poem based on Shakespeare's play that ends with: "On Midsummer's eve take you dreams to bed, let you wake a fool with a donkey's head." Sometimes our desires and longings override our common sense. In this case, "sleep on it" might not be a bad idea.

Giving Spirit

 From the Tarot of the Masters, the King of Coins; from the Key to the Kingdom, the Joker:

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. ~James Keller

Ricklef's drawing is based on John's Leech's The Ghost of Christmas Present, an illustration in Dicken's first edition of A Christmas Carol. This Christmas spirit was the personification of cheerfulness, hope and generosity. He has something in common with the King of Coins, who believes in sharing his good fortune with those in need. Yet his goal is not merely to fill the needs of others, but to lift them up so that they might be able to provide for themselves. The Joker is paired with the nursery rhyme of the spider inviting the fly into its parlor, an invitation which the fly smartly declines. This trickster reminds us there is a difference between giving without expectations and giving without strings attached. He also would caution us with the words of D.C. Hyden: "“Enabling is the mortal enemy of consequences.”

Take a Time Out

From the Tarot of the Masters, the Seven of Coins; from the Key to the Kingdom, the Two of Diamonds:

Teatime is a chance to slow down, pull back, and appreciate our surroundings.

~Letitia Baldridge

Ricklef's Seven of Coins is based on Jean-François Millet's Man with a Hoe, which shows a man resting from his labors. Any project or venture requires planning and then effort to put that plan into action. But for those who are wise, a pause to evaluate our work and its early results are necessary as well. As Kenichi Ohmae wrote, "Rowing harder doesn’t help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction." We may be pleased or displeased with what we see, but either way, we'll know which is the better direction to move in from that point. The rhyme assigned to the Two of  Diamonds is "Polly put the kettle on, we'll all have tea." It is a reminder that a time out is helpful to allow us to rest, give our emotions a chance to ebb, and perhaps see with a clearer perspective.

Knowing When to Fight

From the Tarot of the Masters, the Nine of Wands; from the Key to the Kingdom deck, the Four of Spades:

He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.

― Sun Tzu

This rendering is from Théodore Gericault's painting, Nude Warrior with a Spear. This fellow has a relaxed posture yet he is still watchful. He has fortitude, yet he chooses his battles wisely instead of attacking everything that moves or makes a noise. Prolonged challenges can make us weary and may lead to us becoming overly suspicious and high strung. We must not lose our ability to think rationally and ask questions before react as Sun Tzu describes - fighting blindly and desperately like a mad bull. The Four of Spades offers a riddle about sleepy, summer days and an insect that stings (yellow jacket). Anyone whose ever been around bees and wasps will tell you not to swat at them because you might get stung unintentionally. Better to suss out a situation than kick a hornet's nest and create a conflict.

Give Me the Good News

From the Tarot of the Masters, the Two of Coins; from the Key to the Kingdom, the Nine of Hearts:

You gotta dance with the one that brought you.

~ Shania Twain

Ricklef's rendition of The Star by Edgar Degas brings to mind a line from Twain's song. Sometimes we don't have a choice about the many obligations we must juggle. Yet wouldn't it be better to dance with them rather than being disgruntled and sullen? To be resilient means we are flexible as a dancer, able to rebound instead of curling around our resentment. The nursery rhyme associated with the Nine of Hearts is:

What's the news of the day,

Good neighbor, I pray?

They say a balloon

Is gone up to the moon.

Humans have a cognitive bias toward what is negative. We must balance out this tendency if we want to relieve our stress and anxiety. Instead, we can note: what made us laugh or smile, what touched our hearts, or what made us pause in awe or wonder.