Not a Happy Feeling

This week I'll be using the Buckland Romani Tarot, created by Lissanne Lake and Raymond Buckland; this book and deck set was published by Galde Press. Along with it, I'll be using the Lakota Sweat Lodge Cards, created by Chief Archie Fire Lame Deer and Helene Sarkis; this deck and book set was published by Inner Traditions. Today's draws are the Five of Bolers/Wagon Wheels (Pentacles) and Prayer Ties:

Compassion, in and of itself, is decidedly not a happy feeling.

~Constance Kassor

          These two cards, one implying destitution and the other social conscience, reflect what is all around me. People are on every main thoroughfare or near large businesses holding cardboard signs asking for help. Are they in real need or are they addicts or con artists? Either way, compassion asks that I not turn my head and pretend not to see them but to acknowledge their suffering with a wish to remove it. Yet compassion has some 'near enemies' - actions that appear positive on the surface but are actually unhelpful. The first is pity, when we feel so sorry for the poor person we see. But pity separates us from them; it allows us to think we could never be in their shoes. The second is enabling, when we try to fix the other person and their problems (according to what we think they need). Unfortunately, this offers no long-term aid for the other, it only relieves our short-term discomfort. Finally, despair happens when we self-identify and drown in the sorrows of another. Rather than extending a helpful hand, we both find ourselves in an emotional rip current. Genuine compassion requires an equal measure of kindness and wisdom. It acknowledges that not every problem can be solved, but still endeavors to keep the heart open with a resolve to act with kindness.

The Science of Love

From the Buckland Romani Tarot, the Lovers; from the Lakota Sweat Lodge Cards, 'Prayer Ties:'

As it turns out, love is all about the brain – which, in turn,
makes the rest of your body go haywire. ~Katherine Wu

          According to Dr. Helen Fisher, romantic love can be broken down into three categories: lust, attraction, and attachment (each fueled by different hormones). If a relationship continues over a period of time, dopamine (motivation, excitement) decreases while oxytocin and vasopressin (bonding, affiliation, nurturance) increase, thus allowing attachment and the chance for a long-term relationship. Gosh, that sort of takes all the roses, candy and Valentine cards right out of the equation, doesn't it? Well, not really. All those hormones still react according to the thoughts we have and the actions we take, so becoming self-absorbed is liable to dry them right up. Prayer Ties are a visible wish for the well-being of others and an expression of gratitude. They are a way to knock us out of our self-centered orbit and consider the needs of others. Probably would give those hormones a boost too.