From the Mary-El Tarot, the Devil; from the OH Cards, Shepherd/Intimidate:
The contrived, over-the-top look of this Devil makes him look as if he is in agony, to be pitied rather than feared. The Thoth tradition reminds us that we are indeed animals (regardless of the "human" label) and have basic instincts for our survival. Often in trying to moderate our natural drives, we go to the other extreme and attempt to suppress them altogether. Primary emotions - felt first as a response to a situation - aren't evil but a cue for needed action. Anger may be the fuel for assaulting someone, but it can also be used as motivation to correct an injustice. The tricky part is pausing long enough to know where on that instinctual continuum I am. If I act or speak from where I stand, will I implode (hurt myself), explode (hurt others) or do something beneficial that would help the situation?
A shepherd opens the gate to allow his sheep the freedom to graze, but the word card "intimidate" suggests there is a reason they might balk. The shepherd's crook reminds me of a crosier, the staff Catholic bishops carry. The intention of both is to pull back their "sheep" to keep them out of trouble. But have we, in trying to be nice and maintain our goodness, lost our fire? Have I become so emotionally locked down that the only thing I'm capable of is a passive-aggressive reaction? Perhaps the horns on that Devil might be useful in making some needed headway.
Please not passive aggressive. my mil has been honing this to perfection for 92 years.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'm more at the other end of the spectrum - prone to rip off the bandages and give verbal head-slaps. Meeting with the different dept. heads of the nursing home shortly. We ended up in the better home in the next county over, but if this is "better" I would hate to see "worse."
DeletePassive Aggressive lets not start talking about that!!
ReplyDeletePeople are often fearful of emotions but it is feeling we should be cautious with because these are emotions with repetitive stories attach to them. A pure emotion doesn't last long
For me it is the assumptions and expectations - the stories I write around the emotions that get me in trouble. I've heard if we don't pay attention to the story, just the physical sensation, the emotion will pass in about 90 seconds.
DeleteI always wanted the OH cards. Something about the randomness of the word cards appeals to me. I find decks like that can really pull things out that you need to examine--the freshness of them, you know?
ReplyDeleteThe spouse is passive-aggressive--yikes I know, I know. We are very fortunate to have found a good nursing home for my Dad and he has a veteran's supplement to help with the cost. They've kept him alive and well years after we thought he was dying. I empathize with you--many of these places are purely scary.
My set of OH Card were a gift from Sharyn of Quirkeries (she of the generous heart). I love the random nature of pairing a painting card with a word card. It's like having a deck that is constantly changing.
DeleteThe meeting at the nursing home went well this morning, and I feel much better about the place. A lot of the confusion was caused by the hospital they neglected to send some needed information, meds, etc. They had no idea about her dementia, so they were just running blind until we caught them up to speed. Very helpful and very nice people there, thank goodness.
I am so glad the nursing home is to your liking. It will make a big difference both for you MIl as for the family
DeleteI play that passive - aggressive game with myself sometimes. It is a no win situation. It is really hard to select a nursing home, because they can do what we can do, but it is good to turn the responsibilities over for awhile and remind yourself it is okay to do so. Glad you found someplace that you like.
ReplyDeleteWe have actually been on a waiting list for over a year for all the homes in the area. It was only through a hospital caseworker that we were able to find an opening. They will try rehab with her to see if she can go home; if not, she will probably stay there.
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