Letting the Clouds Clear

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the Hanged Man; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Teacup:

Acceptance doesn't mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there's got to be a way through it. ―Michael J. Fox

Because humans aren't always adept at learning lessons through unexpected circumstances or from encounters with others, life has a way of grabbing us by the nape of the neck and putting us in time-out to reconsider our perspective. Teacup symbolizes replenishment, taking time to restore what is depleted in us. In this case, it is our peace of mind. Feeling powerless stirs up anger, which only clouds our clarity. But taking time to let go of our story so that we can see what is true can help us to see what would be useful and beneficial rather than creating more damage.

Are You Crying?!

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the King of Swords; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Clover:

Are you crying?! There's no crying in baseball!

―Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own

This King has no patience for histrionics, whether that is sobbing or stomping and ranting. He believes such an exaggerated display of emotions distracts from the real issue and prevents factual details from being known. He'd probably tell us to go for a long walk and come back when we're calmer and more lucid. What would the King of Swords say about the Clover, a symbol of comfort and good luck? Likely, he would quote Thomas Hardy, "Some folk want their luck buttered." Though many events and circumstances are beyond our control (some lucky, some not), we can develop a more useful response to them if we've cultivated flexibility, knowledge, perseverance, and a healthy work ethic. Histrionics might feel good, but they won't get us around the bases.

Remembrance

From the Dark Mansion, the Six of Cups; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Buckle:

Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.

― Jane Austen

Resentment and nostalgia are two very different kinds of remembrance with very dissimilar impacts on our physical and mental health. The Six of Cups and Buckle ("holding things together") made me think of psychologist Rick Hanson who is a proponent of relishing good memories: "Taking in the good is not about putting a happy shiny face on everything, nor is it about turning away from the hard things in life. It's about nourishing well-being, contentment, and peace inside that are refuges you can always come from and return to." According to Hanson, mentally staying with those positive experiences for a bit can turn a passing mental state into a lasting neural structure. We build our memories into a harbor of resilience.

Easy and Hard Choices

From the Dark Mansion, the Lovers; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, the Gentleman:

You cannot reach where you are going if you continue to be the same person you have always been. ― Germany Kent

The Lovers, besides representing a romantic liaison, also represents a choice. The Gentleman symbolizes pride and power; he would choose what would make him look good and feel as if he was an authority. I once dated a young man who was possibly the kindest, sweetest fellow I've ever met. But perhaps because of being raised by an alcoholic father and a submissive mother, he never learned how to push back on anything. As wonderful as he was, I was headstrong and fiery - I needed someone who could tell me bluntly when I was off the rails. Although it made me feel powerful, I ended the relationship because in it I would develop into a more self-absorbed person. I would stagnate instead of grow. The easy choices we are tempted to make aren't always the best choices.

No Boxes, Please

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the Nine of Cups; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Birdcage:

People can create boxes for me by all means, but it doesn't mean I'm going to step inside them. 

―Juliette Lewis

Have you ever gone to a car dealership and sat in a seller's office who had a wall covered in certificates and awards for his salesmanship? That's what this fellow reminds me of, someone slippery and skillful at getting what he wants. The Birdcage shows the flipside of that kind of achievement - people expect and demand the achiever to churn out more of the same. But what if their inspiration and enthusiasm are sagging and they want to do something completely different? Like the successful author of a book series who branches out to another genre, the feedback can be harsh. Yet if we want emotional fulfillment, we must refuse to step into any box others construct for us.

Measure Twice

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the Knight of Pentacles; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Telescope:

Where you stand determines what you see and what you do not see; it determines also the angle you see it from; a change in where you stand changes everything.

―Steve de Shazer

Both the Knight of Pentacles and the Telescope suggest a change in our perspective. Rather than just being in a hurry to get things done, it is important for us to see the lay of the land. We take a wide perspective, seeing all that is about us, not just where we happen to be standing. We see different angles and associations, including how things are interconnected. We take a long perspective, considering not just possibilities, but how our actions might impact the future in negative ways. As the saying goes, "measure twice, cut once."

Instead...

This week I'll be using the Dark Mansion Tarot, an independently published deck (Taroteca Studio) by Krzysztof Wasiuk and Magdalena Kaczan (artist). I'll also be using Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, a self-published deck created by Mai (surname unknown). Today's draws are Death and Pocket Watch:

When you die, the first thing you lose is your life.  The next thing is your illusions.

― Terry Pratchett

Death looks tired and perplexed, probably wondering why humans can't grasp that everything and everyone has an end date. People get sick, age and die. Things wear down and fall apart. The Pocket Watch is ticking, as minutes, hours and days are wasted with needless worry, anger, and envy instead of used for joy, kindness, and wonder. As Pratchett's Death intoned, "That's mortals for you, they've only got a few years in this world, and they spend them all in making things more complicated for themselves." I vote for a day of simplicity, laughter, and appreciation instead.

Perceiving

From the Slow Tarot, the Queen of Swords; from the ROAR Oracle, Georgia O'Keeffe:

Happiness is temporary, but interest is continuous.

―Georgia O'Keeffe

People are often intimidated by this Queen, not only by her intellect, but because of her laser-like focus. When she listens, the person speaking has her full attention. She's not only hearing what they say, she's watching gestures, postures, and facial expressions as well as noticing their tone. Much of the Queen's insight comes from paying close attention; it allows her to separate the wheat from the chaff. Georgia O'Keeffe has been called the "Mother of Modern Art" and is known for her large, simplified portraits of nature. She painted her subjects the way they made her feel, making them over-sized because she wanted people to see their beauty: "We haven't time, and to see takes time." both of these women encourage us to slow down and be more perceptive and curious about what surrounds us each day.

Pushing Back

From the Slow Tarot, the Nine of Wands; from the ROAR Oracle, Ada Lovelace:

There is no greater education than one that is self-driven.

―Neil deGrasse Tyson

I can just imagine someone asking this woman, "Haven't you had enough? Why are you so stubborn?" But she is no contrarian, no rebel without a cause. She's seen what this fight is worth (the flowering branches behind her) and knows the fruit of her effort will be worth the hardship. Ada Lovelace's mathematical talents led her to a long working relationship and friendship with mathematician Charles Babbage, known as the "father of computers." Lovelace recognized that their work on the Analytical Engine had applications far beyond pure calculation. She didn't have time for sexist Victorian BS; she encourages us to push against boundaries set into place by others that limit us. 

Making Our Own Luck

From the Slow Tarot, the Seven of Cups; from the ROAR Oracle, Mary Fields:

For too many of us, dreams stay dreams. Or worse, they get stuck in the fantasy category — never acted on, and never invested in.  ―Rhonda Britten

Fantasies are easy - we just let the mind wander. But dreams about what will add meaning and purpose to our lives, whether a career, relationship, travel or a new hobby, take effort. Those cups won't float down to this young girl just because she chooses one; she's going to have to climb that tree or get a ladder. After emancipation, Mary Fields worked many jobs, many of them considered 'men's work.' Her tough spirit and industry did not go unnoticed. At age sixty, she became the first black woman to become a Star Route Mail Carrier, using a stagecoach to deliver mail in the harsh weather and terrain of Montana. Mary would agree with the words of Loretta Lynn: "In the long run, you make your own luck – good, bad, or indifferent."

Seeing Clearly

From the Slow Tarot, the Ten of Swords; from the ROAR Oracle, the Mirabal Sisters:

The fundamental job... is to see clearly what is real and true, and to not be fooled. 

―Lewis Richmond

The Ten of Swords is the end of a cycle, when the intellect realizes it doesn't have everything nicely boxed as it thought. Seeing this lady on the floor in her kitchen suggests a possible "death" from toxic positivity. This mindset emphasizes extreme positivity in all situations, to the point of denying and invalidating negative emotions and experiences. Encouraging statements are used to ward off anything that looks remotely gloomy or detrimental. But suppressed emotions only serve to activate the body's stress response. The Mirabal sisters are considered national heroines of the Dominican Republic for standing up to the brutal dictatorship of Rafael Trujillo. Their message is that we need to stand up for what is true, no matter how difficult that might be. 

Checking Advice

From the Slow Tarot, the Star; from the ROAR Oracle, Toypurina:

A man's pride can be his downfall, and he needs to learn when to turn to others for support and guidance.  ―Bear Grylls

Crossword puzzles often use the word 'asea' for the clue 'confused or uncertain.' In Bryant's card, a woman recognizes that she is lost and uses a sextant, a celestial navigational instrument for determining longitude and latitude. Embarrassment over our face plant may lead us to try the same thing over again, but those who've learned from their fall reach out for guidance. Toypurina was a Kizh medicine woman who led a revolt against the colonial rule of the Spanish missionaries in California. Though the missionaries promised them heaven, they took the indigenous people's land, culture and freedom instead. Toypurina cautions us to look for hidden motives before we follow anyone's adamant opinions. Will their advice empower you or oppress you?

Perceived Threat

From the Slow Tarot, the Four of Coins; from the ROAR Oracle, Octavia E. Butler:

What had been a perceived threat, a lien in a sense on future human behavior, was quickly reduced to a historical curiosity.  — Arthur C. Clarke

When there is a perceived threat - a subjective assessment of danger, even if that threat is not real or imminent - harsh laws, lockdowns and big walls are often a consequence. If that perception involves our possessions, the result is a withholding of mercy and generosity. It's a reactive response that can become hard to break. Octavia Butler, a science fiction writer with many honors including the notable MacArthur Fellowship, was raised by a widowed mom who was a housemaid. The extremely shy Octavia found solace in reading and writing stories. Discovering the wide-open world of science fiction, she learned to create herself as well a story. She would tell us that expectations and assumptions may wound, but we don't have to let them fester within us. The spacious mind can recognize the nuance of the present moment rather than assuming it is just like what we've encountered before. Lockdown might not be necessary.

What We've Been Given

This week I'll be using the Slow Tarot, created by Lacey Bryant and published through Modern Eden Gallery. Paired with it will be the ROAR Oracle, created and self-published by MJ Cullinane. Today's draws are the Ace of Pentacles and Mary Shelley:

You can’t escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.

―Abraham Lincoln

Have you ever been cleaning out your purse, wallet or pockets and found money you didn't know was there? The Ace of Pentacles is about discovering an unexpected resource, something that could be useful to us if we do something prudent with it. The card shows games of chance (die and marbles), rings, a burned down candle and keys. Do we use this resource on a lottery ticket, more trinkets or household items, or do we use it to unlock a door that might lead to a beneficial opportunity? Mary Shelley is known for writing Frankenstein, a book about a scientist who created life and was horrified by what he had made. These cards encourage us to recognize and accept responsibility for how we use what we've been given. 

 

Take a Leap?

From the Hidden Realms Tarot, the Two of Wands; from the Heart of Faerie, Of Two Minds:

There are 2 types of risk: little “r” risk, and big “R” risk. They’re very different, and it’s important to know what you’re facing by doing some simple reflection. ~Jason Leuenberger

These young fey girls use play to learn about themselves and their environment. But like all kids, at some point they will dare each other to do something risky. Will she attempt the task so she won't be called a fraidy-cat? In Two Minds represents a state of being stuck, unable to make a decision. Yet if we reflect on the choices, we can ask ourselves whether our fear is informed and factual or based on an emotional 'what if'. Little risks help us learn to face uncertainty and adapt to change. Unlike big risks, which could have long-lasting, significant impacts, small risks don't cause a disaster if things don't turn out the way we'd like.

Finding Peace

From the Hidden Realms Tarot, the Hanged Man; from the Heart of Faerie, Bright Spark:

I’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit.

― Paulo Coelho

This fairy has learned that when things aren't working out as planned or people aren't doing what he thinks they should be doing, he needs to stop trying to force and control them. Instead, he climbs a tree full of ivy and hangs upside down to change his perspective. When his body and mind relax, he begins to notice birds singing in the branches and hear the rush of water nearby. He releases his agendas and realizes that there's a lot of life going on that he can participate in if he will stop using up his energy in useless ways. Bright Spark brings inspiration, a small flicker that's easy to miss if we're distracted. He can guide us in what we can do while we wait for things to change. 

I've been visiting my mom for the past few days. We went to Fancy Girl Farms, which has a restaurant (that serves fresh from the farm vegetables), coffee shop, and a lovely, landscaped area to sit and relax in outside. We also visited Bell's Daylily Farm, a beautiful place on a lake that is so peaceful and inviting (from which the photos are from).

Hobbies?

From the Hidden Realms Tarot, the Seven of Swords; from the Heart of Faerie, the Prince of Light:

If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.

―Jon Stewart

This fey looks to the heavens for guidance, wondering if he should bend the truth and ignore his values just this one time. But of course, it's never once, because it gets easier and easier to rationalize doing wrong after we do it the first time. Repeated actions can become habits, which form as the brain creates shortcuts, reducing the need for conscious thought. The Prince of Light holds an egg, representing a new beginning, while also shedding light on a situation. Is this who we want to become, someone who claims ethics and values but ignores them when it favors us?

An Obesity of Grief

From the Hidden Realms Tarot, the Five of Cups; from the Heart of Faerie, the Child:

When grief sits with you, its tropical heat

thickening the air, heavy as water

more fit for gills than lungs;

when grief weights you like your own flesh

only more of it, an obesity of grief,

you think, How can a body withstand this?

―Ellen Bass

Anyone who has ever deeply loved and lost anything or anyone knows the depths of despair. Grief engulfs us, like a huge wave; just when we think we can breathe again, another wave hits us. As poet Edward Hirsch described, grief is the task of Sisyphus. It is only when we stop focusing on the loss and also remember the good that we stop pushing the boulder. The Child comes to help us regain our sense of curiosity and wonder, to experience life without judgment. It is in realizing that this is a season of life, natural not personal, that we begin to heal. With compassion, we realize how many others have had their own boulders to deal with.

Then you hold life like a face

between your palms, a plain face,

no charming smile, no violet eyes,

and you say, yes, I will take you

I will love you, again.

―Ellen Bass

Nourishing, Flourishing

From the Hidden Realms Tarot, the Three of Cups; from the Heart of Faerie, the Lady of Sorrows:

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

―Oprah Winfrey

We have many reasons to celebrate - graduations, weddings, births and birthdays. But these fairies are celebrating just for the heck of it. Without all the plans and formalities, this spontaneous get-together has no expectations other than to have fun and share each other's company. This lively party doesn't even have a guest list; it's open to anyone who wants to laugh, dance and have a good time. The Lady of Sorrows is a hoarder of hurts. She's easy to recognize in groups because she's too busy griping instead of enjoying herself. But her resentments are like acid reflux, hurting her every time she relives them. As Wendy Froud writes, "To feed on hurts and sorrow is to live, perhaps, but never to thrive." Forgiveness grants us the light and space for flourishing.

Focused Target

This week I'll be using the Tarot of the Hidden Realm, created by Julia Jeffrey with Barbara Moore, and published by Llewellyn. I'll also be drawing from the Heart of Faerie Oracle created by Brian and Wendy Froud and published by Abrams. Today's cards are the Ace of Wands and the Hidden One:

Alertness is a wide scan of all possible incoming stimuli while focus is the narrowing of this scan on a very focused target. ―Kevin McGrew

With bright energy and whiskers quivering with anticipation, the red fox is a fitting symbol of the Ace of Wands. Shakespeare's words describe her well: "‘Though she be but little she is fierce." As she hunts for her supper, she reminds us to stay alert, wait for the right moment, then act with decisiveness. The Hidden One is sent by the faeries to those who aren't paying attention to their surroundings. Too often we're in our heads, fantasizing about how things are going to turn out before we even get started. Then we trip over the curb and land flat on our face. The fox would recommend staying connected to our senses even as we move towards our objective.

Discovery

From the Mary-El Tarot, the World; from the OH Cards, Companionship:

I did not know that I could only get the most out of life by giving myself up to it.

― Marion Milner

As we begin our lives, we step off into the landscape of the abyss, with wide open minds and hearts. Gradually we form beliefs and opinions, which serve to separate us from other people and things. Yet if we're attentive on this journey of pleasure and hard knocks, we'll discover that we are a small part of a magnificent whole - a glorious living entity. When we see the World as it is, we see its entirety and interconnection. It is a perspective changer - as Milner wrote, "let no one undertake such an experiment who is not prepared to find himself more of a fool than he thought." Companionship is an admonition to remember our relationship with everything. We can choose to act as a medicine or a poison; either way, we affect the World we live in.

Competition

From the Mary-El Tarot, the Six of Disks; from the OH cards, Measurement:

They are consumed with envy. Surrounded by all they desire, they enjoy none of it. Instead, they are constantly at war with one another: competing, comparing and consumed with their perceived lower status. ―Kellie Schorr

White uses the angel Gabriel, bringer of good news and helpful information, in her vision of the Six of Disks. This card refers to harmony restored after a period of gain and loss. Hopefully by this time we have reconsidered our attachments to comfort and material things, realizing how easily they can disappear and later reappear in different form. Such an understanding keeps us from taking things for granted or placing an unfounded value on them. Measurement paired with the Six of Disks is like the Buddhist realm of the jealous gods. Those that dwell (psychologically) in this place have a good life, yet they think it's not as great as the gods that live next door. Such comparison completely wrecks our chances for contentment, gratitude and happiness. 

Solar Eclipse

From the Mary-El Tarot, the Seven of Disks; from the OH Cards, Stairway:

You get out of life what you put into it. I think you need a bit of luck, but you also make a bit of luck. ―John Key

An eclipsed sun in this card implies that things don't seem very bright and enjoyable at the moment. Yet the two beams that still shine resemble a drafting compass. White writes that we are the demiurge of our own lives, tasked with creating meaning and order out of what we've been given. Both card and comment are apropos to aging - finding ourselves in bodies that ache, endure insomnia, have less energy, and deal with health challenges. Like the Stairway, we're going up a steep incline with no idea of what's behind the door at the top. Yet from that height, we also have a much better view of what's important and what's just small potatoes. We have a chance to stop in awe and wonder, appreciating what's all around us. As Jules Renard said, "It's not how old you are. It's how you are old."