True Power

From the Tarot of Durer, the Ten of Cups; from the Philosopher's Stone Deck, Power:

Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.

―Lao Tzu

Whether a family or another group, finding contentment and joy with others requires that we use our will carefully. We all know the following kinds of people, and at times we have been them:

• Those who constantly share their unasked-for opinions about everything, which has the effect of breaking down rather than healing or cultivating relationships.
• Those who are experts on everything, and therefore never listen or need to apologize for anything they do.
• Those who constantly give 'advice,' which is actually only words that are critical or belittling.

The psychologist Albert Ellis wrote, "People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware." If we want happy, healthy relationships, we need to look at what is hidden within ourselves.

Swinging in the Breeze

From the Tarot of Durer, the Hanged Man; from the Philosopher's Stone, Distance:

Sometimes the simplest and best use of our will is to drop it all and just walk out from under everything that is covering us, even if only for an hour or so—just walk out from under the webs we’ve spun, the tasks we’ve assumed, the problems we have to solve. They’ll be there when we get back, and maybe some of them will fall apart without our worry to hold them up.

—Mark Nepo

The Latin phrase assigned to the Hanged Man can be translated "There are many snares for the good." So many of us have good intentions as we try to help people in a bad spot or attempt to make a serious situation better. Though there is so much we can't control or even influence, our emotions prod us forward anyway. Then we find ourselves trussed up, frustrated because we are unable to make a difference. Distance suggests detachment, but not in an "I could care less" manner. Rather, we pull back enough to get some perspective (wake up to reality), recognizing there are some things that are not in our power to change. We keep our hearts connected, but our hands off.

Not Splinter

From the Tarot of Durer, the Five of Cups; from the Philosopher's Stone, Existence:

Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

―M. Scott Peck

To exist in physical form is to have periods of psychological pain, including regret, grief and despair. Such suffering can shrink our world until the only part we see is what hurts. We often add additional pain by thinking this shouldn't have happened to us, that we don't have the resources to deal with this, that we just don't know what to do now; our pain becomes doubled. What is required at this point is for us to widen our perspective beyond our hurt. As Mark Nepo explained, "When feeling a splinter, we must, while trying to remove it, remember there is a body that is not splinter, and a spirit that is not splinter, and a world that is not splinter."

The Welfare of All

From the Tarot of Durer, the Lovers; from the Philosopher's Stone, Insight:

We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. 

–Carlos Castenada

The Lovers motto can be translated "Nothing is difficult for the one who loves." Watch couples who lose a child or those who are aged and dealing with health struggles, and it is easy to see where love makes strong or blame and complaint make miserable. If I break a finger on my left hand, my right hand will not wag a finger or make obscene gestures; it will do all it can to help find relief for its partner. That is the loving connection of true partnership. Insight suggests that we not only acknowledge our relationship with those we love but recognize our interconnection with all beings. As Helen Keller reminds us, "The welfare of each is bound up in the welfare of all." 

Zoom at Your Own Risk

From the Tarot of Durer, the Knight of Pentacles; from the Philosopher's Stone Deck, Trial/Assessment:

Total certainty can mean there's no assessment of things. 

—Chris Ofili

The detail-oriented Knight of Pentacles pairs well with the Stone card symbolizing trial/assessment. He doesn't mind pausing in the middle of his work because it gives him a chance to assess what's been done so far. He's concerned with the two Es: efficacy (are his actions are producing the desired effect) and efficiency (is he is accomplishing this with a wise rather than wasteful use of resources). Because of three floods, our yard has picked up a lot of weeds. In an effort to keep them from spreading without resorting to chemicals, I mow with a bag attachment to collect the seed heads. I confess I have been in a hurry at times and zoomed up, down and around in order to finish quickly. Unfortunately, I forgot to attach the bag catcher, so I had to mow everything again. Slowing down and pausing to check on things is a must for efficiency and efficacy. 

Don't Just See, Watch

From the Tarot of Durer, the Queen of Batons; from the Philosopher's Stone, Skill:

We live our lives supposing things are as they appear to be when that is almost never the case.

― Richelle E. Goodrich

Don't judge a woman by her coverings. This Queen is nearly unrecognizable, but her cheekiness in showing a bare leg is a big hint, as is the crown on her baton and lion at her feet. We are geared to make assumptions about appearances, but we are wiser when we do not. The Stone card shows off its skill in levitating a stone over its head - sort of like us walking while balancing a book on our head. It suggests that we would do well to draw our conclusions from actions rather than how people look or what they say. Our house got hit hard by Hurricane Michael, and the flooding that ensued from it necessitated moving our HVAC unit, pulling all the mucky ductwork from under the house, and putting new ductwork in the attic. These repairs unfortunately left a huge hole where the unit had been with no bricks to fill the wall. After much searching, a friend recommended a fellow who agreed to find some bricks and do the job. This man was in his 80s, had only a few teeth, and couldn't speak well. But today, no one can tell where the old brickwork meets the new. Outer appearances can hide much.

Could Be AstroTurf

This week I'll be using the Tarot of Durer, created by Manfredi Toraldo and Giacinto Gaudenzi and published by Lo Scarabeo. The oracle deck I'll also be using is the Philosopher's Stone, created by De Es and published by AG Muller. Today's draws are the Four of Chalices and Hazard:

"Est modus in rebus" - There is a measure in things.

The booklet for the Durer deck states the Four of Chalices represents stability and reliability. But this little bird has just hatched out of one confining space to find itself surrounded by a circle of cups that are also enclosed with a fence. I know a woman whose husband gave her all the material things she could ever want, but she never had a say in their relationship about anything. History is full of dictators who have promised abundance and prosperity but had a militarized country. In both cases, freedom was sacrificed. Can there be emotional fulfillment where there is such control? The Philosopher's Stone card has the title Hazard, but its subtitle gives more of a clue about its meaning: prevoyance. In other words, we 'hazard' a guess about probability, using foresight to plan and make wise choices. As Karen Salmansohn put it, "The grass is always greener on the other side - until you get there and see it's AstroTurf."

Unfolding

From the Rosetta Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Day of the Dead Lenormand, the Tower:

So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them.

― Sylvia Plath

The Ace of Cups represents loving energy, the need to love and be loved. Meleen describes it as a point of being receptive and merging with others. But these two actions require that we make space in our lives, that we don't just talk about ourselves and do only what we want to do. It means being open to what others are interested in and what's on their minds too. The Tower in Lenormand generally represents big organizations or the government. However, in the area of relationships, it suggests distance and standing alone. As Jo Helm wrote, "Lost in a sea of self, we forget the beauty of the shore."

Out of Motion

From the Rosetta Tarot, the Queen of Wands; from the Day of the Dead Lenormand, Sun:

Unfold your own myth.

― Rumi

The Queen of Wands is straightforward, independent, and self-motivated. An elemental combination of water and fire, she is the steam engine that flies down the tracks to her goal. But because she is also a nurturer, she wants to inspire others to follow their dreams and passions too. She doesn't force but encourages, believing in us until we can believe in ourselves. Learning and doing something new and different can make us feel like a fumbling fool. But as the Sun indicates, having someone cheer us on can keep us going until we find our footing and develop some self-confidence. As Richard E. Byrd reminds us, "Progress grows out of motion."

Long Enough

From the Rosetta Tarot, Death; from the Day of the Dead Lenormand, Heart:

All compounded things are subject to vanish.

―Buddha

Meleen's Death figure wears a fish cloak, depicting how he patrols the river of life, unfolding decay and mortality along the way. Death does not care if such change is welcomed or feared. His appearance reminds me of the Three Insights:

1. Everything is temporary; experiences are continually changing. 
2. Every experience has the potential for startling the mind into confused resistance (suffering) or arousing it into sober attentiveness (equanimity).
3. Everything is contingent. Nothing happens without having been caused by something and without impacting future events.

The Heart reminds us to love deeply, widely and fully, even in this transient world. As Seneca advocated: "It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life, if well lived, is long enough."

Through the Portal

From the Rosetta Tarot, the Fool; from the Day of the Dead Lenormand, the Mountain:

A warrior accepts that we can never know what will happen to us next... This not knowing is part of the adventure, and it’s also what makes us afraid.

―Pema Chödrön

Meleen uses a Dionysian figure to represent the carefree joy of the Fool. He has no fear about what awaits him as he exits this portal to an unknown world. When we first open our eye portals every morning, there is a very brief moment before we make assumptions about the day ahead; like the Fool's entrance, it is a point of possibilities. The Lenormand Mountain represents challenges and obstacles. It might be tempting to wish for a life with no metaphorical mountains to climb, but after experiencing a run of monotonous days with nothing new or different, we might regret that wish. The Fool reminds us that challenges provide us with experiences that can aid our self-confidence and add to our knowledge as well as make a few allies. And that feeling of making it to the top...

No Deal

From the Rosetta Tarot, the Four of Disks; from the Day of the Dead Lenormand, Ring:

You're either growing or dying. Stagnation does not exist in the universe.

―Steve Siebold

The Four of Disks represents earthly power: material success, comfort and security. But with it comes paranoia, which puts so much emphasis on preservation and protection that it becomes stifling. Surely there is a middle way between the extremes of excess and deprivation. The Ring symbolizes commitment and partnership. This literally means a person we are closely involved with who shares in our endeavors. To be locked down, to refuse the give and take of sharing, is to end any hope of a partnership, be it one of business or affection.

A Little Literal

From the Rosetta Tarot, the Eight of Wands; from the Day of the Dead Lenormand, Book:

Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.

—Sam Levenson.

Meleen describes this card as a visual representation of the electrical stimulation of the brain. Fire enters the realm of intellect and knowledge, requiring swift decisions and creative solutions. The Book indicates knowledge and education. Sometimes the cards I pull are so literal, they make me laugh. Many years ago, when my daughter was young, I created a memorial to honor our ancestors for the fall equinox. The pictures were accompanied by trinkets and miniatures that described their lives. For instance, my great-grandmother had a tiny trunk because she spent months traveling overseas with her sisters (leaving behind husbands and children). I'm lucky in that my mother put together five booklets about the ancestors on her side (the family album for the Book!). I've decided to do this again, so I've been busy reading them and making notes, but I also need to do some research on my biological father. I never included him before, but as one teacher reminded me, my life wouldn't exist without him, and that's something. He was a medic helicopter pilot in Korea and Vietnam, so I'll find a little helicopter for him. I've got until September 22 to be ready!

Make It Happen

This week I'll be using the Rosetta Tarot along with its companion book The Book of Seshet. This set was created by M.M. Meleen and published by Atu House. The oracle deck I'll be using is the Day of the Dead Lenormand, created and self-published by Edmund Zebrowski. Today's draws are the Prince (Knight) of Swords and Mice:

Things do not happen. Things are made to happen.

—John F. Kennedy

The Prince of Swords is Air of Air, a combination that makes him an inexhaustible fount of ideas and solutions. A lover of research, he is also comfortable with abstract ideas. However, he'll spend time spinning out a complex plan or concept and then just abandon everything because he's lost interest. The Mice card suggests something is gnawing away at our well-being, resources, or relationships. It doesn't matter how many creative ideas or interesting strategies we come up with to mitigate this problem if we don't apply them. As JFK explained, "There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long-range risks of comfortable inaction."

Seeds of the Past

From the Sheridan-Douglas Tarot, the Wheel of Change; from the Pages of Shustah, Mammoth:

Out on the road today, I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac

A little voice inside my head said, "Don't look back, you can never look back."

—Don Henley

I see a lot of posts on Facebook by people who seem to think the past was so much better than today. Psychologists have even named the cognitive biases for this: rosy retrospection (recalling the past more positively than it was actually experienced) and declinism (viewing the past more favorably and the future more negatively). Sure, some things were simpler and slower in the past, but life was also hard and distressing - for instance, having limited medical tools and knowledge. I don't agree with Henley that we should never look back, but I do think there's no going back. Mammoth shows up to tell us that we all carry seeds of our past. If we want a better present and future, it's time to take a look at them and see if they are worth cultivating or not.

A Step Out

From the Sheridan-Douglas Tarot, the Five of Swords; from the Pages of Shustah, the Path:

Living well is the best revenge. 

—George Herbert

Some folks don't just want to best others, they want to humiliate them, stomping on them while they're down. Our natural inclination is to plot our revenge, but even if we succeed, it won't wipe away the past. And vengeance just lays the groundwork for a back-and-forth conflict of hostility. We end up wasting a lot of energy that could be used on something more useful or enjoyable. The Path encourages us not to get distracted by the trolls and bullies of the world. Instead, we concentrate on our spiritual compass and take care of ourselves. As we feel our feelings (without mentally adding to the story), we might take Rilke's advice:

Whoever you are; some evening take a step

out of your house, which you know so well.

Enormous space is near.

River of Change

 From the Sheridan-Douglas Tarot, the Three of Cups; from the Pages of Shustah, Aquarius:

A person is a fluid process, not a fixed and static entity; a flowing river of change, not a block of solid material; a continually changing constellation of potentialities, not a fixed quantity of traits.

—Dr. Carl Rogers

Douglas describes the Three of Cups as enjoying the fruits of love and companionship. The people we choose to befriend are important because they can influence and enrich our lives. We can celebrate each other's joys and successes and support each other through hard times and loss. Our relationships make life meaningful. Aquarius indicates change - an awakening due to new ideas. What happens when our partner or close friend suddenly appears bearing a new philosophy to present to us? It may feel like (no matter how illogical it sounds) that they should have discussed this with us first. Yet this is not a terrible development if these new ideas are constructive and beneficial. We may find that they improve or enhance our life too.

The Difference

From the Sheridan-Douglas Tarot, the King of Pentacles; from the Pages of Shustah, the Whip:

Today, I'm looking at life from a realistic point of view instead of the way I would want things to be. 

—Otis Williams

The King of Pentacles is a practical yet farsighted in material matters. He knows that although we desire bodies that function well and a hefty bank account, even the natural world doesn't thrive all the time. He suggests we investigate prudent ways to navigate those times of decline. The Whip is a symbol of self-control and discipline. Do we constantly require a carrot or the fear of the stick to motivate us? Do we jump toward the easiest solution even if it will have heavy consequences? As Jim Rohn explains, “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”

Intoxicating Focus

From the Sheridan-Douglas Tarot, Justice; from the Pages of Shustah, Scorpio:

What we need to strive for is not perfection, but balance.

—Ani DiFranco

What does balance look like in an individual life? At times our focus gets caught up in a project or crisis and loses track of everything else. Bills don't get paid, bodies don't get exercised or rested, and connections with others become frayed. Our world shrinks down to whatever focal point has intoxicated us. Justice looks like she wants to poke us with that big sword to get our attention. Scorpio tells us it is time to investigate and discover where our scales are out of balance, but without any pettiness. It might appear that someone or something else is to blame, but we ultimately have the final say in how we direct our attention.

Revoking Power

From the Sheridan-Douglas Tarot, the Eight of Swords; from the Pages of Shustah, Destiny:

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

― Marcus Aurelius

Destiny (the Shustah card) refers to external things that we can't control. The Eight of Swords puts us smack dab in the middle of a bunch of them. It's easy to get overwhelmed in this place and fall into "woe is me" mode. In Buddhism, suffering is said to be caused by the disconnect between what we want and what reality gives us. Yet if we can find a way to calm and center ourselves, we can take another peek at reality and perhaps see that while it may be upsetting, it isn't as horrible as we imagined it to be. At this point, we can determine an appropriate response to deal with it. 

The Process

This week I'll be using the Sheridan-Douglas Tarot, created by David Sheridan and Alfred Douglas and published by Sheridan Douglas Press. The oracle deck I'll be using is Pages of Shustah, created by Ann Manser and Cecil North and published by Shustah Inc. Today's draws are the Hermit and the Gnomes:

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility. 

—Eleanor Roosevelt

The Hermit suggests seeking solitude for reflection, exploration and examination. When there is a great upheaval in our lives, whether it is change for the good or something awful, we need time to process things once the dust settles. With compassion, we ask ourselves what our spirit needs to replenish itself. We look to see how we handled things, and if there were moments when we might have made a better choice. Then we consider what would be the most beneficial ways to adapt to this new normal. Gnomes represent hard work and being tenacious in the face of challenges. Contemplation is just the first step of adjustment; we must follow that up with action. 

Make It a Priority

From the Anima Mundi Tarot, the Queen of Swords; from the Nature's Pharmacy Deck, Chicory:

Despite its importance, listening is often neglected in everyday interactions. One of the primary reasons for this is the human tendency to prioritize response over comprehension. 

—Ramesh Meda

The Queen of Swords is illustrated with an Eurasian eagle-owl, one of the largest owls. Like other owls, it is equipped with a facial disk, a group of feathers around its head that helps direct sound to its ears (useful in hunting). The Queen of Swords may be known for her sharp intellect, but she also is an astute listener. She notices what isn't being said as well as the emotions and tone behind the words. The Queen finds the facts by paying attention, not by jumping to conclusions. Chicory's root has long been roasted and used as a coffee substitute when coffee was hard to come by. Even today, it is often added for its nutty, earthy flavor without increasing caffeine content. Likewise, listening deeply in conversations can change how we relate to others in a positive way, creating connection rather than division. 

Something New

From the Anima Mundi Tarot, the Ace of Wands; from the Nature's Pharmacy Deck, Cranberry:

Without creativity, there would be no progress, and we would be forever repeating the same patterns.

—Edward de Bono

The white banner behind this Ace of Wands seems to wave at us to get our attention. "Is anyone bored and restless? Then do something creative or new rather than rely on old, unhealthy habits for that edgy energy." There are so many possibilities we could try: find books at the library to learn something different; try out a new recipe; check YouTube for any low impact exercise videos to get moving; or do something artsy, whether that's painting, crafting, playing music or writing poetry. Cranberry is most often thought of as a side dish with turkey and dressing, but it is also well known for reducing the risk of urinary tract infections. It reminds us that doing new and creative things is good medicine for our mental and physical well-being.

Leaning Post

From the Anima Mundi Tarot, the Emperor; from the Nature's Pharmacy Deck, Feverfew:

I can't promise to fix all of your problems, but I can promise you won't have to face them alone. 

—Mac Miller

The Emperor is illustrated with a Douglas fir, an evergreen that is one of the tallest in the pine family. Its evergreen nature - no matter the season - brings to mind those trustworthy friends or family members who have our back. It doesn't matter if the timing is inconvenient, if they're tired, or if they are in the middle of having fun; when we really need their help, they come. Feverfew is marketed as an herbal aid to prevent migraines and help with symptoms (pain, nausea, light sensitivity). However, when taken on a regular basis and then abruptly stopped, withdrawals symptoms such as rebound headaches and muscle and joint pains occur. No one can be a constant leaning post; everyone is subject to health issues and their own unexpected crises. At some point. we have to learn to be our own supportive, best friend. 

Know Your Own Welfare

From the Anima Mundi Tarot, the Empress; from the Nature's Pharmacy Deck, Myrrh:

Don’t give up your own welfare

For the sake of others’ welfare, however great.

Clearly know your own welfare

And be intent on the highest good. 

—Dhammapada, chapter 12

The peony is a beauty that can stop people in their tracks; the Chinese call it the "flower of riches and honor." Ants are attracted to the nectar on the outside of its buds, though they do not cause harm. In fact, it's likely the ants deter other harmful insects. This Empress has figured out how to give abundantly while also caring for herself. Myrrh is a gum-resin extracted by making cuts in the thorny tree Commiphora myrrha. The resin has been used as an analgesic for toothache pain, bruises, aching muscles, and sprains. There is evidence to suggest certain compounds in myrrh interact with central opioid pathways in the brain. Extreme sacrifices can be like a drug, making us feel we are making a difference when we are really only harming ourselves. Know your own welfare.