Unfolding

From the Rosetta Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Day of the Dead Lenormand, the Tower:

So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them.

― Sylvia Plath

The Ace of Cups represents loving energy, the need to love and be loved. Meleen describes it as a point of being receptive and merging with others. But these two actions require that we make space in our lives, that we don't just talk about ourselves and do only what we want to do. It means being open to what others are interested in and what's on their minds too. The Tower in Lenormand generally represents big organizations or the government. However, in the area of relationships, it suggests distance and standing alone. As Jo Helm wrote, "Lost in a sea of self, we forget the beauty of the shore."

Acceptance

From the Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Victorian Flower Oracle, Daisy:

To deepen your love and acceptance of another, first develop love and acceptance for yourself. 

―Leon F. Seltzer

The pairing of the Ace of Cups and Daisy (Family Matters) reminds me that not all of us were raised in healthy environments. Yet the snake wrapped around the tree, representing the Staff of Asclepius, suggests there is healing to be found. It's not true that we can't love another without loving ourselves. However, we do tend to look for (and expect) others to fill our emptiness, and we might be drawn to what we are familiar with (those who treat us as a lesser being). Yet we need others. As Lia Avellino states, "healing happens in connection and pain thrives in isolation." A trusted friend or therapist might help us believe we are worthy of love and kindness so that we make the effort to uncover our value. 

A Few Kites in the Air

From the Ellis Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Brownies Oracle, Attainment:

If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.

– John Maxwell

Ellis states that the Ace of Cups can include emotional healing and growth or a positive shift in attitude. We all have buttons that are easily pushed and an Achilles heel when it comes to our emotions. Growth involves being aware of these things and practicing a different response when we can catch ourselves. Although Attainment from the Brownies Oracle may seem to imply perfection, take a closer look at those kites they're trying to fly. Some of them are soaring, some in a tangle, and others still on the ground. Growth doesn't mean we're never angry, grieving or anxious, just that we're getting a little better at not repeating our same reactive patterns.

A Moment Before

From the Tarot of the Absurd, the Ace of Cups; from the Post-psychedelic Cyberpunk Oracle, the Question:

What is happiness? It’s a moment before you need more happiness.

—Don Draper

Soaking in exuberant joy, this woman has filled and now holds her own cup of happiness. What prevents us from doing the same? We often have joyful times, but then our mind begins to churn out thoughts like: "I wish I could stay in this place forever; tomorrow I have to go back to the daily grind." We've stepped out of our cup of happiness as soon as we seek to make it last longer or bemoan the end of it. Instead, we could fully appreciate the experience while we're in it. The Question advises that we look for answers by asking the right questions. If we're thinking that something or someone is keeping us from being content, perhaps we need to look closer to home and question our own choices and motives.

From Both Sides

From the Tarot Lukumi, the Ace of Cups; from the Diloggun Cards, Oshe (five mouths):

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.

—David Viscott

The Ace of Cups is illustrated with a statue of Yemaya, goddess of the ocean and the mother of all living things. Like many mothers, she loves and protects with a fierceness that is stunning. She offers us a cup of tenderness and kindness - first to sip from, and then to take out into the world. Yet Oshe suggests we use our love wisely and with discernment:

Ifa: Unless we resort to caution and discretion, we will miss the blessings of prosperity.

Proverb: Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.

We want to avoid a codependent relationship, feeling as if our happiness depends on another's contentment. But neither should we use love in a way that enables another, allowing them to bypass all responsibility for their actions. As the Buddha said, just as thought is the forerunner of action, so right thought (seeing things realistically) is the forerunner of right action.

Tomorrow is Already Gone

From the Albano-Waite Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Rumi Cards, Tomorrow:

...my cup overflows. ~Psalm 23:5

An acquaintance posted on Facebook this morning that if anyone knew of a family who was not getting enough to eat to contact him. He said he wouldn't ask questions or tell any tales, he'd just buy them some groceries. A person replied that he was generous and kind; he said his offer was simply because he felt so blessed. Is my life perfect? No, I have physical pain, emotional challenges, and limited income, much like many others. But does my cup overflow with good people and things in my life? Absolutely. Rumi's card - Tomorrow - is a reminder that while we may think about paying it forward by doing a kind deed for someone, we often put if off and then forget about it. Act now, he says, for tomorrow is already gone. You can't fill an empty stomach with good intentions.

Make Some Space

From the Lilifer Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Wandering Soul Oracle, Rebirth:

Joy, it seems, mostly comes unbidden. 

~Christina Feldman

This demon takes advantage of a rain storm to fill her cup, giving her the resources to nourish her body, mind and spirit. The lotus flower in Rebirth brings to mind reaching up through the muck and muddy water until the sun is reached. Together these cards imply that we need something to lift and fill our hearts while easing our mind. Buddhist teacher Christina Feldman writes, "Gladness allows us to find rest even in the midst of action. Joy helps us to remember and treasure our capacity for ease and peace." But if joy mostly comes unbidden, how do we fill our cup with it? Feldman explains that this state has its roots in mindfulness, which brings an intimacy with all things. She suggests we also need to make time for 'sacred idleness' - not an escape from reality, but simply being rather than doing. Joy needs space to emerge.

It's a Practice

From the Idiosyncradeck, the Ace of Cups; from the Mixed Emotions deck, Compassionate:

To love without knowing how to love, wounds the person we love.

― Thich Nhat Hanh 

I have learned that having a full heart, one that overflows with love to share, takes practice. Some of the tools I use are: 

• Bring to mind (from childhood to present) your benefactors, those who have been kind without any agenda or strings attached.
• At the end of each day, ask: What happened today that made me smile or laugh? What touched or warmed my heart? What made me pause in wonder or awe?
• Make use of a loving-kindness meditation.

Compassion means being willing to sit with another's pain with a desire to help. But notice how the hands in this card tenderly hold rather than control the bird. Sometimes, in our desire to make our own discomfort go away or when we want to 'fix' the other person, we react inappropriately. As Ed and Deb Shapiro caution, "Wise compassion is inherently skillful, sees the whole situation and aims to bring release from suffering; its opposite is known as blind or idiot compassion, which does not take into account the whole situation and so, while appearing compassionate, is inherently unskillful and may actually increase suffering."

Just a Cigar

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, the Stranger:

 It's often easy to see symbolism where none exists.

~Gene Tierney

When I pull my cards for my daily reflection, it can be easy to forget that sometimes what I see is as far as it goes. There is no need to imagine or ponder what each may represent. Today is one of many days of heat advisories that has been issued for our area this summer. High temperatures and high humidity (that keeps sweat from evaporating and cooling a person) create a dangerous situation. A large cup and a stranger ('caution') is likely just a reminder to stay hydrated as I go through a very busy day ahead.

Forget the Plus and Minus

This week I'll be using the Mary-El Tarot, created by Marie White and published by Schiffer. I'll be pairing it with the OH Cards, created by Ely Raman and Joe Schlichter and published by Eos Enterprises. The OH draw is actually two cards - one a picture and the other a word. Today's draws are the Ace of Cups and Military Parade/Give:

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.

~Winston Churchill

This hermaphroditic angel is based on the constellation Aquarius, the water bearer. Rather than seeing the cool water they carry - water that can heal, sustain and nurture - we might get caught up judging the outer package. At that point, any relationship would be superficial, based simply on what we like or dislike. The OH card shows a formation of soldiers drilling, an ancient practice that began when men stopped fighting as individuals and started to fight together as units. The word card combined with it is 'Give,' suggesting selfless rather than selfish action. As Emma Goldman wrote, "If love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction that never fails to lay stress on a plus and a minus."

Open Heart and Ears

From the Restored Order Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Oracle of Kabbalah, Zayin:

Zayin painting by Victor Brindatch

The wafer of bread the dove brings to the chalice brings to mind the Eucharist, yet it also is symbolic of something or someone that comes into our life and touches our heart. It is a connection that can grow if we pay attention and nurture it, or one that will dissolve if it is ignored. Zayin is often assigned the meaning of 'weapon' and is equated with the number seven (a number of completion in Jewish mysticism). This letter begins the charge to "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy." The knife used to cut the challah (bread) is covered on the Sabbath as a sign of peace. Both of these draws suggest that when we meet someone different from us, we should be open-minded rather than mounting an aggressive challenge. We don't have to give up our values, but we might just learn something new and beneficial if we listen with our heart and our ears.

 

True Love

From the Norse Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Wolf Pack, Rejoice:

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.

~Erich Fromm

To draw the Ace of Cups (a card of joyful relationship) and the card Rejoice seems a lovely coincidence as today my husband and I celebrate our 33rd anniversary. While our hair is much grayer and our bodies achier, I have to agree with Henry Ward Beecher about older love:

Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable.

Before I got married, a friend told me she was at first concerned because my husband-to-be was sort of a strange and unusual fellow. But then she said since I was pretty weird too,  she thought we'd probably be okay. So I had to laugh when I came across the quote by Robert Fulghum:

We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.

Deposits

From Hadar's Veritable Tarot de Marseille, the Ace of Cups; from the Greek Rune Tiles, Delta:

The covered chalice on the Ace of Cups is likely based on the ciborium used to hold the hosts for the Eucharist. The lid preserved its consecrated form while also keeping dust and bugs out of the bread and wine. I'm guessing the building on top of the Marseille-style Ace of Cups represented the kingdom (either of God or earthly) that would bring a sense of security and belonging. This particular card asks me whether I treat my relationship with other beings as sacred or whether they are taken for granted. Delta, besides being a Greek letter, is also used to describe the fertile sediment deposited when a river reaches a lake or an ocean. Like the meandering river, all the phases of any relationship can lead to my own emotional growth and development. There will be fertile soil to grow healthy connections with others if I pay attention along the way.

In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that saves everything.

—Thomas Merton

How Do I Look?

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, The Gentleman:

If we were to scry into the contents of this cup, we might see many people and things that will bring us happiness and fulfillment. Yet what it won't show us is how these same people and things will also bring anger, tears and heartache. The dragonfly on this card is a hint of its hidden meaning. This insect spends most of its life underwater as a nymph; they only emerge as winged adults in the later part of their life. In the same way, we are offered various cups in our life, not so that we'll find perfect happiness but so we can develop enough maturity to know that kind of perfection doesn't exist. The Gentleman card represents outward appearances, thus his keyword is pride. He reminds me of a quote by Sallie Tisdale: "How do I look?" is nothing more than "Where do I belong?" While our instinct to belong and be with others is natural, we need not give up our autonomy, inner values or self-respect to do so. Otherwise, we'll find ourselves back in the nymph stage.

Cups of Light and Darkness

From the Hidden Realm Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Heart of Faerie, the Gift:

Someone fills the cup in front of us.

We taste only sacredness.

—Jelaluddin Rumi

With their long bodies, webbed feet and insulating underfur, otters are made for swimming. The river otter uses the water mostly for hunting or traveling, but often engages in other activities for the sheer enjoyment of play. While the human element is in both air (intellectual) and water (emotions), many of us who've had our hearts hurt often prefer to stay on land, closing off our feelings in an attempt to protect ourselves. Yet this is an essential part of us that keeps us connected and gives us a sense of belonging. The Gift is an offering of recognition and wisdom. I am sure this fairy would suggest we see all the cups we've sipped from as a way to grow, learn and develop kindness and compassion (even if it was not extended to us). 

Someone I loved once gave me

a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand

that this, too, was a gift.

—Mary Oliver

Luck or Attention?

From the Deirdre of Sorrows Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Victorian Flower Oracle, , Tuberose and Daffodil:

A lot of what we ascribe to luck is not luck at all. It's seizing the day and accepting responsibility for your future. It's seeing what other people don't see and pursuing that vision. 

~Howard Schultz

          The horseshoe in this Ace of Cups made me chuckle. Are the relationships we find a matter of being lucky in love or simply paying attention and following through? My money is on the latter. The warm affection and sincere devotion we have for others isn't based on what another can give us. Love is an offering that flows both ways. Tuberose, known for its use in perfume, and Daffodil, known for its showy spring blooms, are very different plants. But it appears this relationship is based on seeing the best in each other rather than being just alike. And, I would imagine, such a supportive relationship gives the other the confidence to grow into something even better. 

Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.

~Samuel Lover

Known and Loved

From the Tabula Mundi Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Universe Cards, Binary System:

          Meleen describes the Ace of Cups as receptiveness that leads to form (the manifestation of a relationship). Often what is poured out runs off an overturned cup not willing to be filled. For these folks, past experience has made them believe no one is to be trusted and allowed into the heart. Unknowingly, they have painted with too wide a brush in an effort to protect themselves. Trust is hard to cultivate where there is fear, but consistency of action may create a more open mind - that there is also a chance for joy and devotion. Binary System is a pair of stars linked by mutual gravity, a relationship of sorts. There is a give and take in mutual, healthy relationships, an interdependence rather than an imbalance of dependency or control. Such is a gift not to be missed.

To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is... what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us. ― Timothy Keller

Swept Under the Rug

From the Tarot of the Cat People, the Ace of Cups; from the Sacred Geometry Oracle, Discontinuous Proportion:

          Cats will often expose their bellies to people they trust (but unlike dogs, it has nothing to do with requesting a belly rub). It is their language of feeling safe around someone enough to expose a vulnerable side. Is it possible to care about someone without exposing oneself to harm? Discontinuous proportion means that the measurements making up different sets of ratios have no particular connection with each other besides the proportion itself. In this case, patterns are dependent on someone else's contributions that may not at first be obvious. There are plenty of controlling and abusive relations that begin so subtly, the person on the receiving end may not at first realize that things are abnormal and unhealthy. It may be time to take a closer look at what we've been sweeping under the rug.

Self-Service

 From the Cosmic Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the L'Oeil de Lotus, Interdictment:

Self-care isn’t being selfish, it’s a public service. When you fill your own cup,

you’ve got more to give to others. ~Melissa Goodwin

How do we keep our cup full to overflowing when we are in the middle of millions of acres burning, hurricanes, a national leader interested in only himself, and a pandemic? It's tempting to try to do it with the stuff we buy or the ways we seek to have others stroke our ego. But those small sparks of pleasure don't last and certainly don't fill the void in our hearts. Melissa Goodwin suggests six ideas:

1. Take time out - make it a priority to schedule some self-care time.
2. Question your standards of perfection - the world won't stop spinning if things aren't just 'so.'
3. Take care of your health - get enough sleep, eat good food, exercise (you know this already, but probably don't do it).
4. Feel good by looking good and finding what's wonderful  - get out of those PJs, take a shower, and find something beautiful to appreciate.
5. Use your spiritual tools - if you don't have any, now is the time to investigate some.
6. Connect with others - talk with others who make you laugh and make you feel like you belong.

Interdiction (the act of prohibiting movement) is a warning about how we often empty our cup without taking a sip of it ourselves - by trying to fix or save others. That is a Sisyphean task that will drain us dry every time.

Hefty Keyring

 From the Secret Forest Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Faeries' Oracle, the Guardian at the Gate:

I'm pretty easily overwhelmed and pretty tough as well. I think I'm tougher than I used to be. There's been a lot of hardship along the way. But that's what life is. And it's how you deal with those things, and how you let them shape you that makes you a better person and defines what sort of person you're going to be. ~Nathaniel Rateliff

          Like the lotus or water lily, sometimes beautiful, amazing things grow out of the muck. I can easily think of several women who (in my opinion) have dealt with more than their share of hardships. Yet their hearts remain open; their generosity, compassion, and kindness are easily witnessed. Their challenges have not shaped them into bitter people, but people who remain grateful and find joy in small things. They are my role models. The Guardian at the Gate allows those who are ready to pass from one phase or stage to the next. People who have not developed emotionally and spiritually, who remain self-absorbed and unaware, do not go through. But those who deal with what comes as best they can - rather than shaking an angry fist at the universe - have quite a hefty keyring.