It's a Practice

From the Idiosyncradeck, the Ace of Cups; from the Mixed Emotions deck, Compassionate:

To love without knowing how to love, wounds the person we love.

― Thich Nhat Hanh 

I have learned that having a full heart, one that overflows with love to share, takes practice. Some of the tools I use are: 

• Bring to mind (from childhood to present) your benefactors, those who have been kind without any agenda or strings attached.
• At the end of each day, ask: What happened today that made me smile or laugh? What touched or warmed my heart? What made me pause in wonder or awe?
• Make use of a loving-kindness meditation.

Compassion means being willing to sit with another's pain with a desire to help. But notice how the hands in this card tenderly hold rather than control the bird. Sometimes, in our desire to make our own discomfort go away or when we want to 'fix' the other person, we react inappropriately. As Ed and Deb Shapiro caution, "Wise compassion is inherently skillful, sees the whole situation and aims to bring release from suffering; its opposite is known as blind or idiot compassion, which does not take into account the whole situation and so, while appearing compassionate, is inherently unskillful and may actually increase suffering."

The Art of Compassionate Surrender

From the Idiosyncradeck, the Hanged Man; from the Mixed Emotions deck, 'Compassionate:'

          I still laugh when I see Bott's use of the sloth for the Hanged Man; it reminds me of the sloth-run DMV from Zootopia. However, I can absolutely relate to that frustrated bunny in the movie - it's hard to be patient when your hands are tied and it feels like you're standing in a bed of fire ants with a nest of bees in your chest. I find it nearly impossible to sit on a cushion and meditate during such times, so I generally do some sort of movement exercise (walking, yoga, etc.) with a mantra or short phrase. This can unhook my mind from what I crave (wanting or not wanting). It's amazing that the key to turning the volume down on that infuriating sense of helplessness lies in simply changing the channel in my mind. Once calm, I can see with clarity what I can effectively do in the situation and what I'm just going to have to let be. The Compassionate card is a nice reminder to be supportive, gentle and kind, instead of falling into the traps of self-pity or self-indulgence. If I can sit with my own pain without trying to push it away or escalate it with projections, I will be better able to sit with the pain of others without trying to 'fix' them as well.