Learning to Use Our Hurt

From the Wheel of Change Tarot, the Three of Swords; from the Oracle of the Dreamtime, Barramundi:

Strength is not the absence of hurt. It is the refusal to let hurt set the terms of who we become.

—Rabbi Yonatan Hambourger

The Three of Swords indicates a painful realization and the loss of an illusion. There are some relationships that just can't be put back together as they were before when truth is revealed. But what do we do with our pain?  Psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun have studied what they call post-traumatic growth - a conscious shift from being a victim to being a student of our experiences. This process does not delete our pain but helps us use it to extract life lessons and gain emotional resilience rather than remaining stuck. The Dreamtime story of Barramundi tells the story between two young lovers who long to be together, however the young woman was already promised to an older man in an arranged marriage. Rather than accept that fate, the lovers jumped into the sea and became fish. Traditional ideas and romantic dreams must often be sacrificed if we want an authentic, fulfilling life. 

Outside the Mental Box

From the Wheel of Change Tarot, the Two of Swords:

I used to love making paper snowflakes when I was a child, especially since snow is as rare as hen's teeth here. First a circle was carefully cut out, then it was folded in half and again in fourths. From the sides and ends, snips of shapes were trimmed. The exciting part was unfolding the circle, because you never knew exactly what it was going to look like. Such is the dilemma of making choices - no one can ever foresee what the consequences will be. The snow theme of this card reminds me to pause long enough to put my emotions on ice in order to make a more sound decision.

From the Oracle of the Dreamtime comes the "Barramundi:"

This wisdom story is the aboriginal equivalent of Romeo and Juliet. Instead of following the established order of doing things, a young couple rebelled and followed their own ideas. In adding this meaning to the tarot card above, I am reminded the traditional way of handling situations is not always the best. A good decision today may depend on me being able to think outside the box.