Getting My Wings

From the Tarot of the Cat People, the Seven of Cups; from the Insectorum Divinorum, the Caterpillar:

Expectations are the shackles that will not permit something to be what it actually is.

― Craig D. Lounsbrough

In my younger years, I've had relationships, jobs, and experiences that might have been truly fulfilling if it weren't for my unrealistic expectations. I assumed these things would make me feel happy, secure and content without much effort on my part. It was as though I expected them to have some sort of power or capability that I lacked. Much like the Caterpillar who fails to become a butterfly, I gave up before the real magic happened, before I realized my own agency. As Rod Stewart sings, "I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger." But I know now, and so I'll be on the lookout for attitudes that will suck the life out of anything that could bring satisfaction and joy. I'm going to work on getting my wings.

Knowing and Doing

From the Da Vinci Enigma Tarot, Renewal (Judgment); from the Insectorum Divinorum, Caterpillar:

The gap between knowing and doing is larger than the gap between ignorance and knowledge. ~Robert Sutton

          In this partial sketch, a crowned eagle sits atop a globe. In the full rendering of the drawing, a wolf sails a boat toward the eagle. It has been suggested that the wolf represented the Church or the Pope, and the eagle on the world the life of man. Such symbolism doesn't paint the Church in too favorable a light, and perhaps it implied the rivalry of political and religious leaders with the common people caught in the middle. Judgment represents discernment that in turn causes a transformation. It is an understanding that can't be undone or dismissed. Yet the Caterpillar card emphasizes work must be done before the full metamorphosis can take place. Knowing is the first phase, and acting the second.

Just a Human

From the Da Vinci Enigma Tarot, the Eight of Earth (Pentacles); from the Insectorum Divinorum, the Caterpillar:

 Where are your skills needed?

          In these sketches, Leonardo made of a study of the body as it moved in various actions of work. It was one of the many ways he honed his craft to become a great artist. The dimmi above seems to ask a two-fold question: where do I need to become more skillful and how will these talents then be applied? The majority of my 'work' (not including home and family) is in mentoring other folks in recovery. Like many people in helping professions, I find it is easy to forget to take care of myself. But it's hard to be of benefit when I'm not pausing to nourish, restore and check-in with my own body and mind. The Caterpillar represents potential not yet realized. Rupp-Spangle writes in the lwb that a period of growth and development is necessary. It may include a lot of work with little reward for the time being, so patience is needed. I may have skills that are needed out in the world, but that doesn't negate my own growth and care.

Gently accept your humanness. – Deborah Day

Might and Right

From the Da Vinci Enigma Tarot, Strength; from the Insectorum Divinorum, "Caterpillar:"

Strength shows Da Vinci's study of the hero Herakles and his defeat of the Nemean lion. Afterward, he slept so long the people thought him dead. Zeus transformed the lion into the constellation Leo. The dimmi asks, "What forces are you bringing into play, and what tendencies need taming here?" Matthews makes the statement in the companion book, "Not everything you meet on the road is evil, though it may be challenging." With certain people who have rigid and unkind worldviews, my knee-jerk reaction is to shut them down and put them in their place. Perhaps instead I could ask them to help me understand why they feel the way they do. Rather than refusing to hear their rant, I could attempt to uncover whatever fear or anger is beneath it. For some folks, I will need patience and tolerance that equals the strength of that Nemean lion. The Caterpillar brings the message that there must be a period of growth and development before any potential is realized. Which makes me think of taking my own inventory - cleaning up my own backyard as Elvis sang - before I worry about trying to make someone else clean up theirs.

Euphorbia cyathophora, "Fire on the Mountain" or Wild Poinsettia

Happy Holidays!