Forget the Prince

From the Cosmic Tarot, the Nine of Cups; from L'Oeil de Lotus, Healing:

If you look to others for fulfillment,

you will never truly be fulfilled.

—Tao Te Ching, 44

This image has the song from Disney's Snow White running through my head: "Some day, my Prince will come." Often our wishes are fulfilled, but then after a period of time we find the prince or princess we expected to bring us contentment failed to do so. Is it the other person's fault? Not if we thought it was their duty to make us happy and fill our emptiness inside. Healing comes when we discover we don't need another person to make us feel good about ourselves. Instead, we find a cause or a passion and dig into it. It is what we do and think that can make us feel whole. As Christina Grimmie said, "Confidence is not, 'They will like me'. Confidence instead is, 'I'll be fine if they don't'."

Bad Moments, Good Friends

From the Cosmic Tarot, the Nine of Swords; from the L'Oeil de Lotus, Healing:

This is the human version of Chicken Little's "the sky is falling." Keep in mind those swords are thoughts and words, and it's easy to make the comparison. Granted, biology has wired us for cognitive bias. But sometimes we need to pause and ask what actually has happened and what part is the imagination mushrooming things into a destined disaster. The body doesn't know what's real or fantasy, so it will keep pumping out adrenaline and stress hormones based on what the mind settles on. No wonder Healing makes an appearance. In such cases, the best remedy can often be a wise, compassionate friend who will listen and then show us how we have taken a bad moment or situation and stretched it into never-ending woe.  

Compassionate listening is a very deep practice. You listen not to judge or to blame. You listen just because you want the other person to suffer less.

—Thich Nhat Hanh

  

No Smooth Ride

From the Norse Tarot, the Tower; from the Wolf Pack, Healing:

There is something aggressive about that approach to life, trying to flatten out all the rough spots and imperfections into a nice smooth ride. ~Pema Chodron

The Norse gods established order and restrained the forces of chaos, but at Ragnarök ("Fate of the Gods"), these forces broke free. The inevitable, massive battle resulted in the cataclysmic destruction of the cosmos and everything in it. I suppose it is human nature to want to have our ducks in a row, to fix what is broken, and to create stability where there is insecurity. But as Chodron states, life is never going to be an unending smooth ride. People, places, and things just never stay in perfect condition or continue to perform in the way that pleases us. Anger, fear or grief nearly always follow what is unexpected. While there's nothing wrong with these emotions, we can get stuck in them if we feel we've been unfairly and personally attacked. Healing suggests giving ourselves a time out to come to grips with reality. Instead of battling what is, we rest with what is, allowing us to view it over time with a bit more clarity and perspective. 

My Best Thinking

From the Victoria Regina Tarot, the Ten of Swords; from the Alchemist's Oracle, 'Healing:'

          The dead man is a reminder of a phrase often heard in 12 Step meetings - "My best thinking got me here." As much as we'd like to imagine that we could be an intellectual island, solving any problem or challenge on our own, that is just not the case. Some of us have to hit a hard bottom to revise this tightly held delusion. Yet the Healing card suggests we do not need to denigrate or indulge ourselves but become receptive in order to open new pathways. Take a few sips of some fresh, unfamiliar viewpoints. Of course, we could continue to insist on doing the same thing over and over while getting the same result. In that case, we might as well stay on the ground as there won't be far to fall.

Spiritual Inventory

This week I'll be using the Victoria Regina Tarot, a deck and book set created by Sarah Ovenall with text assistance from Georg Patterson. This tarot set was published by Llewellyn. I'll be pairing it with the Alchemist Oracle (aka Connected and Free), a deck and booklet set self-published by Lauren Aletta. Today's draws are the Hermit and 'Healing':

          Holding a lantern and a pen, the Hermit isolates himself for the purpose of a spiritual evaluation. The withdrawal will provide distance from the daily, external distractions, allowing him to do a written inventory of his path so far. What does he believe and why? Has he tested his philosophy or faith against reality, or is he comfortable with only an intellectual version? Has this path made him more or less selfish and self-centered? If he can answer these questions honestly, he'll find some insights that might change the path he's been walking. The Healing card shows a hot cup of tea, a drink meant to be savored slowly. Sounds like the perfect way to mull over those insights, renew his intentions and heal (forgive) himself for any mistakes.

Every Yom Kippur, Jewish tradition requires a strict spiritual inventory. You aren't supposed

to just sit around feeling guilty, but to take action in the real world to set things right.

~ Naomi Wolf

What is Essential?

From the Gill Tarot, the Queen of Cups; from The Circle, "Healing:"

          Gill gives this Queen the keyword "contemplation," which comes from the Latin contemplatio, meaning a cleared space in front of an altar. This word and meditation are often confused, especially within the mix of various religions and philosophies. I like Sri Chinmoy's explanation: "Concentration gives the message of alertness. Meditation gives the message of vastness. Contemplation gives the message of inseparable oneness." I've no doubt this Queen has the noble heart on her altar, a heart without the armor of protection. As the sea eagle seeks sustenance flying over the water, she seeks the truth based on compassion. The lone figure in the Healing card suggests an interior restoration; added to the Queen, it would indicate a renewal of the heart. The two cards made me think of a recent mini meditation I heard from Rick Hansen (adapted by me):

Imagine coming home after a long, tiring trip and standing at your front door with two heavy suitcases. These suitcases seem to be filled with lead, and your arms tremble as you hold them because of their great weight. One suitcase is filled with regrets of the past; the other is filled with worries about the future. Do you want to continue carrying this heaviness into the new year? Put them down, and feel the relief of no longer holding them. As you place your hand on the doorknob to enter, pause and ask yourself, "What is really important in my life? If I trim all the nonessential daily concerns away, what is left?" Now open the door and enter into your home and the new year. 

Putting On and Taking Off Armor

From the Tabula Mundi Tarot, the Five of Disks; from the Alchemist's Oracle, "Healing:"

          Meleen describes this card as the "chains of materiality that bind the mind." A padlocked chain and a huge nail through the disks (with the bottom one cracked) are efforts to prevent further loss and ease worry. I understand this impractical way of dealing with loss. Let a pet die, a job end or a major health concern happen, and humans instinctively move to shield themselves in any way possible from being vulnerable in the physical world. Yet this reaction only serves to constrict our hearts and minds while offering no protection from an impermanent world. What is the key for opening the lock, the alternative for shutting down and shutting out?
          Aletta's Healing card is welcome, and I can almost feel myself relaxing as I imagine sipping that hot cup of tea. She suggests it means that once the grief of loss begins to subside, the work of unblocking new pathways can begin. Instead of trying to fight or flee, I take off my armor, embrace it all and lean into it. I allow my heart to experience hurt, yet I continue to welcome what brings joy with open arms. For it is its impermanence that makes it so precious and beautiful.

 Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. 

~ Pema Chodron