Awareness of the Past

From the Sacred India Tarot, the Six of Lotuses (Cups); from the American Pen Oracle, David Ignatow:

          Parvati, daughter of the mountain lord, wanted to marry the god Shiva. But Shiva was content to stay deep within his meditation, even going so far as to burn up the love god Kama when he showed up with his bow and arrow and interrupted him. Parvati finally figured out that her beauty would never impress Shiva, only spiritual practice. She began performing tapas ("to heat") - rigorous ascetic practices designed to burn away past karma. Her intense, inner cleansing did make Shiva take notice, and he accepted Parvati as his wife. This version of the Six of Cups reminds me of the 12 Step "searching and fearless moral inventory" that is required to be able to see patterns of past behavior and realize what part a person played in how his or her life unfolded. Choices and actions based on fear, anger, pride and self-centeredness are examined. The process is not meant to bring shame but awareness and illumination; it allows a new, liberated way of life to begin. In a poem to his daughter, Ignatow writes: When I die choose a star and name it after me, that you may know I have not abandoned or forgotten you. His words make me wonder what others will remember about me when I am gone. Will it be acts of kindness or acts of frustration and resentment that shine from the darkness? Though I can't rewrite the past, I can learn to live more mindfully in the present.