Rethinking

From the Victorian Romantic Tarot, the Nine of Cups; from the Dreaming in Color Deck, Serenity:

I've always felt a little sorry for the fellow on the Nine of Cups who seems happy but alone. I guess I was under the influence of thinkers like George Gordon Byron who said, "To have joy, one must share it." Getting older has made me rethink this philosophy. While it can be nice to share many moments with others, the Serenity card reminds me that sometimes it's nice to just enjoy them on my own. I don't need to post the sunrise I'm viewing on Facebook or call a friend about an insight I had as I was reading. Instead I can just be mindful of my enjoyment while it's in front of me.

The Center, The Root

From the Legacy of Divine, the Sun; from Steps to Serenity, "Serenity:"

          It seems ludicrous to think ancient astronomers thought Earth was the center of the Universe. But then again, that's typically how humans think. I've spent quite a few years wondering why life didn't adjust itself to my plans and desires, and feeling angry that it didn't. It is like trying to build from a plan that uses metric measurements but instead using inches and feet. No wonder things didn't turn out right! But what clarity (and a sense of freedom) occurs when I realize I am not the center of the universe, and things don't depend my every thought and action. I am a part of the whole, a part that can be of benefit, but only if let go of my self-centered views.
          I can think of three reasons why I'm not experiencing serenity:
1) I'm so used to chaos that peace seems boring, so I create or engage in emotional drama.
2) My expectations weren't met about some person, place or thing.
3) I'm trying to control what I can't accept instead of embracing reality.
In all of these situations, I am self-absorbed and unwilling to work with "what is." I have to agree with Bill Wilson who said, "Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles." My lack of serenity really is caused by my own choices.