From the Legacy of Divine, the Sun; from Steps to Serenity, "Serenity:"
It seems ludicrous to think ancient astronomers thought Earth was the center of the Universe. But then again, that's typically how humans think. I've spent quite a few years wondering why life didn't adjust itself to my plans and desires, and feeling angry that it didn't. It is like trying to build from a plan that uses metric measurements but instead using inches and feet. No wonder things didn't turn out right! But what clarity (and a sense of freedom) occurs when I realize I am not the center of the universe, and things don't depend my every thought and action. I am a part of the whole, a part that can be of benefit, but only if let go of my self-centered views.
I can think of three reasons why I'm not experiencing serenity:
1) I'm so used to chaos that peace seems boring, so I create or engage in emotional drama.
2) My expectations weren't met about some person, place or thing.
3) I'm trying to control what I can't accept instead of embracing reality.
In all of these situations, I am self-absorbed and unwilling to work with "what is." I have to agree with Bill Wilson who said, "Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles." My lack of serenity really is caused by my own choices.
Working on number three has made a lot of difference in my life. Perhaps next year I will focus on number one, a big pitfall for me. Also I want to try not run form inner silence by hiding behind a screen for to long and give meditation another go
ReplyDeleteStriking you have drawn the Sun on this Holiday of the Rebirth of light :)
The Sun was a welcome card, especially after days of heavy rain (exterior) and dealing with the holidays (interior). It was a good reminder that how I think affects how I feel!
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