The Art of Compassionate Surrender

From the Idiosyncradeck, the Hanged Man; from the Mixed Emotions deck, 'Compassionate:'

          I still laugh when I see Bott's use of the sloth for the Hanged Man; it reminds me of the sloth-run DMV from Zootopia. However, I can absolutely relate to that frustrated bunny in the movie - it's hard to be patient when your hands are tied and it feels like you're standing in a bed of fire ants with a nest of bees in your chest. I find it nearly impossible to sit on a cushion and meditate during such times, so I generally do some sort of movement exercise (walking, yoga, etc.) with a mantra or short phrase. This can unhook my mind from what I crave (wanting or not wanting). It's amazing that the key to turning the volume down on that infuriating sense of helplessness lies in simply changing the channel in my mind. Once calm, I can see with clarity what I can effectively do in the situation and what I'm just going to have to let be. The Compassionate card is a nice reminder to be supportive, gentle and kind, instead of falling into the traps of self-pity or self-indulgence. If I can sit with my own pain without trying to push it away or escalate it with projections, I will be better able to sit with the pain of others without trying to 'fix' them as well.

Save Some Passion

From the Idiosyncradeck Tarot, the King of Arrows (Wands); from the Mixed Emotions deck, 'Loving:'

          With his charisma and energy, the King of Wands is a natural leader. Don't expect him to follow the same old way of doing things; he thrives on creativity and originality. He has the courage of conviction and will follow through on his goal no matter what the challenges. People always feel bold and daring when following this fellow, as if they're in the spotlight too. He reminds me a bit of Elon Musk, who recently successfully launched his own rocket into space (with a Tesla Roadster on board). The downside for people who thrive on such passionate endeavors is that sometimes their close relationships take a back seat. It doesn't take long before the Righteous Brothers are singing in the background, "You lost that lovin' feeling." The Loving card is a reminder that relationships require the same sort of effort and enthusiasm. The problem is not that each partner has separate interests, but that they forget to nurture their common bond too. In the words of J.K. Rowling, "Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike."

Confining or Spacious

From the Idiosyncradeck, the Ten of Swords; from the Mixed Emotions deck, 'Curious:'

          In the bottom of a pit lies a broken sword, yet the night sky is full of stars. It's hard to admit that one's ideas, strategies, and opinions are wrong or aren't working. When what we want or don't want bumps hard into reality, it can twist our minds in strange ways. We may try to think ourselves into a better situation (while holding tightly to our original beliefs). Between our ears this mental method makes sense. But applied in the world, it is ineffective at best and harmful at worst. I've been studying the Buddhist nidanas ('causal links'), a look at how our mind creates our suffering as a reaction to life. Yet just breaking one of those interconnecting links can wake us up, giving us the space to see with clarity. And what happens when we find ourselves in such spaciousness? We become Curious and fascinated with everything, without being so quick to label it with a permanent marker. Our world and the possibilities in it suddenly seem endless rather than confining and oppressive.

Count on Me

From the Idiosyncradeck Tarot, the Two of Cups; from the Mixed Emotions deck, 'Hopeless:'

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives. ~Euripides

          Everyone needs at least one loyal friend: someone who keeps our confidences, inspires us to take a risk, sits patiently with us when we're suffering, has no subject that is off-limits, and who makes us laugh. It's a give-and-take relationship that allows joys and sorrows to be shared equally by both sides. Such a relationship requires courage; its openness and honesty override any hint of ego stroking. When things are going great for one but not the other, there is no lessening of happiness or jealousy, only sympathetic joy. On the other hand, the Hopeless card presents a different scenario. As Arnold Glasow wrote, "A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." When we are in a dark hole and overwhelmed, we need a friend to gently remind us that we're the one with the shovel doing the digging. They will be the ones who don't humiliate with shame but simply reach out a hand for us to grab. As Dionne Warwick reminds us, "That's what friends are for."

Can You Hear Me Now?

From the Idiosyncradeck Tarot, the Knight of Swords; from the Mixed Emotions deck, 'Afraid:'

          This Knight is honest to the point of bluntness, using logic that can make him seem unfeeling. But sometimes it takes the cold, hard facts to cut through those cozy cocoons we hide in. On the plus side, this Knight's sword is grounded, suggesting he's got evidence to back up his ideas. He wants to get to the root of the problem, not just debate the issue. The Afraid card reminds me of something I recently heard psychologist Nicole Currivan speak about. The prefrontal cortex is the part of our brain used for reasoning, planning and processing new information. Our limbic system is responsible for emotions and formation of memory; part of this system is the amygdala, responsible for our 'fight or flight' response. Perceived threats or a high level of stress lights up the amygdala, and it can shut down the prefrontal cortex completely. Basically, people having an emotional surge are unable to think straight. They become incapable of listening to and understanding reason because the prefrontal cortex has been blocked. Knowing our personal triggers and mindfully working with them can be helpful. In speaking with others, calm, respectful conversations will likely have more of an impact.

Responsible Expansion

From the Idiosyncradeck Tarot, the Three of Arrows (Wands); from the Mixed Emotions deck, 'Guilty:'

To educate the intelligence is to expand the horizon of its wants and desires. 

~James Russell Lowell

          Taking a risk beyond the tried and true can lead to great success, especially if you've studied and prepared in advance. Though not everything may work out as planned, what does can ignite a passion to keep expanding. I saw in the news where General Dollar (a 'dollar store' chain) that has exploded all over the rural South plans on opening 900 new stores this year. They remind me of a 'dime store' chain of my youth - Woolworth's. The business spread rapidly over the U.S.; at its height of success, they opened a new store every seventeen days. Of course the Woolworth's chain went out of business in 1997, yet it reinvented itself as Footlocker. Perhaps that's the real definition of success - to be able to adapt with the times. Guilty suggests wrongdoing, and in the case of expansion, a lack of foresight. What gets built or bought must be taken care of, and upkeep should be part of the budget. Also, if the motive behind expansion is simply to have more, then it's likely some people and their livelihoods will be squashed without thought. Perhaps 'responsible expansion' could become a better motto.  

Just Here, Just Now

This week I'll be using the Idiosyncradeck Tarot, created and self-published by Jessica Bott. Along with it, I'll be drawing from the Mixed Emotions Deck, created by Petra Martin with Kris Wiltse (Illustrator) and published by Heron Lake Press. Today's draws are Death and 'Grateful:'

Focus on this life. Live this actual day. Pay attention to just this very moment. This is where it's all happening, not in some future lifetime, not in your next birth or your 'middle existence' between incarnations. Just here. Just now. ~ Brad Warner

          Being a mushroom nerd, I quite like Bott's take on Death. Both the body and tree are being recycled back into the earth, giving sustenance to other living things. Experiencing death can briefly stop the mind. I had this happen yesterday when I learned of the death of a woman with whom I had a conversation with just a week ago. It brings into sharp definition what is truly important and what is simply the debris of my ego. What happens after death is a nonissue; it is the life lived before the ending that creates meaning. I am prompted to ask, "Will what I leave behind sustain and nourish or starve and poison?" The Grateful card suggests I remember the simple joys in my days rather than overlook them. Life can be complicated and difficult, but it's also beautiful and full of wonder. Where I place my attention will determine if my heart feels full or empty.

Let me respectfully remind you

Life and death are of supreme importance

Time swiftly passes by and opportunity is lost

Each of us should strive to awaken....

Awaken....

Take heed.

This night your days are diminished by one.

Do not squander your life.

~ Zen evening chant