Conserving Energy But Not Emotions

From the Gaian Tarot, the Star:

The worshipful way this woman looks at the water in the palms of her hands is the way I look at my first cup of coffee in the morning. Riding the menopausal mongoose has disrupted my sleep for quite a while now, and I find myself waking up only to hope the day goes by quickly so I can crawl beneath the sheets again. I've tried every natural remedy and pharmaceutical available; I can fall asleep easily, I just don't stay asleep. The Star is a card of hope and guidance, but it is also a card of healing that reminds me to be gentle with myself when I'm struggling physically, mentally or emotionally. Now is not the time to add obligations or start new projects. The belted kingfisher beside the pool is a bird that waits in a tree or shrub until he spies something to eat, then he swoops down to the water to grab it and goes back to his perch. He teaches me to stay still when I can and conserve my energy.

From the Goddess Oracle comes "Demeter:"

Demeter was the Greek goddess associated with agriculture. When her daughter was abducted by Hades, she was overcome with grief and anger. As a result, the seasons stopped and all growing things began to die.  People and gods didn't care much about her emotional troubles until it affected them, then they clamored for the daughter's return too. The pomegranate Demeter holds is split open, suggesting I release and express my feelings.  Holding them in only results in an inappropriate explosion later (think of Pele the volcanic goddess). I recently watched Bernie on Netflix, a dark comedy about the true story of an elderly woman's companion. The woman was hateful and controlling, and one day Bernie (who was always "nice") shot her. The prosecutor had to move the case to another city because all the townspeople didn't think Bernie should be held accountable, because they knew how nasty and mean the woman had been. But like Bernie, I will have to answer for my outbursts or behavior. I need to find a clear way to communicate my emotions instead of holding them in for the sake of keeping the peace.

Small Victories

From the Gaian Tarot, the Four of Fire (Wands):

In a desert under the light of a full moon, a woman stands in a sacred circle. Colbert describes her version of the Four of Wands as a celebration of one's personal power. I don't mark my personal successes much, mostly because I think I don't have any. But it's really a misconception on my part; I'm only looking for the "big" moments, not the small ones. If I look hard enough, I can find small victories and joys. I got my aching body out of bed and went for a long walk at 7:30 am this morning (missing the gnats and the humid heat). The flower seeds that I planted a month ago and have watered religiously are beginning to sprout. I managed to find a new computer at a reasonable price and learn a new Windows system. I've kept up a daily blog for over two years and a daily nature journal for almost a year and a half. None of these things will get me listed in history books, but they are small personal achievements that help keep me grounded in this fast-paced world.

From the Goddess Oracle comes "Sphinx:"

In the Greek tradition, the sphinx had the body of a lion, the wings of an eagle, and the face of a woman.  She wasn't like the more benevolent Egyptian version; if you wanted to pass her gates, you'd better know the answer to her riddle or death would be inevitable. The Sphinx reminds me that challenges aren't necessarily bad. I need to stretch and work out my mental and spiritual muscles just as much as I do my physical ones.  Otherwise, it won't be a sphinx that kills me, but the monotony of boredom.  Life as a slug doesn't seem very enticing.

Who's Holding the Paddle?

From the Gaian Tarot, the Canoe (Chariot):

I rather like the idea of a canoe instead of the usual chariot. With horses pulling the vehicle, there's always a ready excuse - "I don't know what's gotten into them; they dragged me all over the place except where I wanted to go!" With the canoe, there's no doubt who's paddling the boat and choosing the direction of travel. It reminds me of statements like: "He makes me so mad!" "I could be happy if I had a more fulfilling job." I'm as guilty as anyone else about making such comments. But in reality, I alone can allow my emotions, senses and instincts to manipulate me, or I can skim above them and paddle with the tool of rational self-control.

From the Goddess Oracle comes the card "Hestia:"

Hestia was the Greek goddess of hearth and home, who had the ability to turn any building into a sacred place.  And while the author focuses her meaning of the goddess on the home, the myth that stands out to me is the one that shows her humility. Although Hestia held one of the original seats in the Olympian pantheon, when the new god of wine and ecstasy showed up (Dionysus), she willingly gave up her seat to him and went to tend the hearth.  Hestia teaches me to ask myself - before I get in a tizzy about something - just how important it is in the big scheme of things.  I could save myself a lot of time and drama by taking care of my responsibilities instead.

Mindful Thinking and Eating

From the Gaian Tarot, the Elder of Air (King of Swords):

The flute this elder plays is a symbol of paying attention to what one hears and says. The luna moth in the top corner of the card brings to mind the Lunestra commercial (remember the one where a person is sleeping soundly while a large, lime-green moth is floating around the bed?). Lamb, Hair, and MacDaniel, in their book Marketing 10e, reported that the makers of this drug had the highest advertising recall by consumers in 2007. The manufacturer flooded the media with ads until something beautiful in nature became associated with a pill in a bottle. The authors of Marketing 10e include the relevant comment, "firms should hold off advertising a new medicine for an appropriate period of time. This would allow doctors enough time to learn about the risks and benefits of a new medication before television and Web viewers see an ad and demand a prescription." The King of Swords adamantly warns me not to make assumptions or believe everything I hear. Many people aren't looking out for my welfare but their own; I need facts and figures to make the best choice for myself.

From the Goddess Oracle comes "Corn Mother:"

The Corn Mother was a figure known to indigenous tribes of America who relied on corn as a staple. In many myths, she gives her life so that the humans will have something to eat. The Corn Mother reminds me to slow down and be mindful of the nourishment I absorb. Taking the time to eat slowly and choose healthy foods is just as important as choosing what beliefs and ideas I allow in my head.

The Sacredness of Solitude

From the Gaian Tarot, the Hermit:

Last night we had a powerful thunderstorm roll through, and during it I realized my older cat was missing.  I searched high and low in all her usual spots, but eventually found her hiding behind the glider on the screened-in back porch.  She'd become too frightened to move, so I scooped her up and brought her inside.  Colbert calls this card "sacred solitude;" unlike my petrified cat, it has nothing to do with being overwhelmed and hiding out.  The reason for this solitude is purposeful - while it might be a time to rest, it is also a time for a personal inventory.  I originally tried this spiritual exercise when I was thirty; I looked at my fears, resentments and relationships of the past to see where I had done harm (to myself and others), and looked for people to whom I owed amends.  I also made an honest attempt to forgive those who had wronged me and release my own shame.  What surprised me most from this exercise was the clarity to see the patterns in my life - those that were beneficial and those that were destructive.  This self examination is not something I can do well while multi-tasking.  Just as the Hermit finds quiet time alone to do his work, so must I.

From the Goddess Oracle comes "Tara:"

I sit in stillness, in focused awareness

breathing in and out

as the ocean that is life

churns and pulses around me

Marashinsky gives this goddess the keyword "centering."  Like the Hermit, Tara reminds me that there are times when I need to find the eye of the hurricane by detaching from what is going on.  My emotions and thoughts are not "me," they are only temporary and will eventually pass.  By staying in the present moment, I will find an inner awareness that can both calm and guide me.

Non-Zero-Sum Solution

From the Gaian Tarot, the World:

The more complex societies get and the more complex the networks of interdependence within and beyond community and national borders get, the more people are forced in their own interests to find non-zero-sum solutions. That is, win–win solutions instead of win–lose solutions.... Because we find as our interdependence increases that, on the whole, we do better when other people do better as well — so we have to find ways that we can all win, we have to accommodate each other....

~ Bill Clinton

It's taken many, many years, but I'm finally beginning to realize the impact of my selfishness and self-centeredness.  My attitudes, actions and beliefs have tendrils that reach out and wrap around other lives and environments, affecting them.  If I want a peaceful, compassionate world, the work is going to have to start with me.

From the Goddess Oracle cards comes "Uzume:"

This Japanese goddess literally let it all hang out, but not so she could be the center of attention.  Her bawdy dance and antics were designed to lure the sun goddess out of her cave.  She figured all the laughter and pandemonium would entice her, and sure enough, Amaterasu came out.  Uzume teaches me not to be afraid to laugh at myself, especially if it might help someone else.  The heads-up I gave to the reporter and police about the Microsoft phone scam going around ended up on the front page of yesterday's paper (a slow news day, obviously).  Needless to say I have been teased about my new role as a crime fighter by friends and family - my husband wants to paint a bat on my car and buy me a cape.  But the playful bantering will be worth it if it helps keep someone from getting conned.

Cutting the Mustard

This week I'll be using the Gaian Tarot LE, created and published by Joanna Powell Colbert.  Today's draw is the Guardian of Air (Queen of Swords):

Atop a mountain, a snowy owl flies overhead as a woman plays a crystal singing bowl. I have a metal Tibetan bowl, and when it is played, the sound grows in strength and vibrates the stick until it rattles against the bowl's side. The Guardian of Air encourages me to make sure I don't stumble and mumble when I speak; I need to make sure I state clearly what I mean without worrying about who I rattle. I can be tactful, but my words should be truthful. Yet before I open my mouth, I need to take a look at myself. Like the pellets of fur and bone the owl expels after eating, this bird tells me I am also holding onto a pattern of thinking that is not beneficial. It will be helpful to replace this worn out template I've been using before I attempt to say what's on my mind.

The second deck I'll be using this week is the Goddess Oracle, created by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and Hrana Janto and published by Element Books.  This morning's card is "Shakti:"

Shakti is actually inseparable from her counterpart Siva; Shakti is the imminent/manifest component of this energy and Siva is the transcendent part. Imagine a soul trying to create in this world without a body - it would be impossible. Shakti is what gives this force shape and form so that it can physically exist - she is the container. I am reminded by this card to be aware of the "container" I use for my words. Tone, body language and the words I choose can change the meaning of what I say from compassionate to passive-aggressive, from humble to condescending. The line "I'm not rude, I'm just honest" is not going to cut it.