Gently Holding Hearts

This week I'll be using Songs for the Journey Home, a deck and book set created and self-published by Catherine Cook and Dwariko von Sommaruga. I'll also be using the Raven Cards, an oracle created by Gabi Bucker and published by AG Muller. Today's draws are Wave Resolving (King of Cups) and "Share Out:"

          What a comforting image from the SJH deck! The creators write: "This image represents mature love. The arms gently encircling the sea to create a tranquil harbour symbolise the ability to lovingly enfold another without grasping or possessiveness. There is no attempt to change the beloved." For the past several days (and weeks), I've experienced the powerlessness of being unable to change painful situations for those I love. All I can do is make a safe space for them, a refuge where they can fully express what they feel without me running away or trying to fix what can't be resolved. The Raven Card talks about too much ballast - in nautical language, heavy material used to steady a ship. By staying grounded myself, I can share that steadiness with another. I can be an anchor as they deal with the rough waves of life.
          Last Friday at meditation, I did a (Westernized) version of tonglen with the group. Because today's cards made me think of this meditation, I thought I would share it with those who might be interested in this heart-opening practice:

          “Tonglen” means “taking and sending” and is a tool for connecting with our compassion. Compassion literally means “to suffer with,” or to be willing to sit with our own or another person’s pain. Most people run away from any kind of suffering or numb themselves to it, but this meditation teaches us to move toward it, embrace it and transform it. It involves breathing in the pain with the wish to remove suffering and breathing out with the desire to replace it with comfort and happiness. This meditation can be directed at an individual or group and may be used for any type of physical or emotional suffering. It is a way to hold yourself or another in your heart with gentleness and kindness. This meditation can help move us away from self-absorption and toward a concern for the welfare of others, especially as we become aware that other people feel the same pain we do.

Take a slow, gentle breath with a relaxed belly. Let the tension in your body melt as your muscles relax. Notice the weight of your body as it relaxes and the sensation of the chair as it supports you. Now imagine lying in a grassy meadow on a soft blanket. It is calm and peaceful here with nothing to disturb you. The sky above is a beautiful shade of blue; a few wispy, white clouds shade you from the glare of the sun. As you gaze upward, sense the spaciousness and freedom of the sky; it is much like the natural openness of your moment-to-moment awareness.

Now bring to mind what is presently causing you pain, whether it is emotional or physical. You may need to visualize the story around it to experience it fully. Begin to move your focus to the physical sensations this suffering causes in your body; explore the intensity and location of it. As you breathe in, notice how these feelings seem to constrict your heart and mind, how small it makes your world. With your next exhalation release this pain outward into the sky, as you say to yourself, “May I be free of the root of this suffering. May I find comfort and happiness.” Continue to breathe in as you gather your pain, and breathe out as you release it. If you have a spiritual mentor or a god of your own understanding, you might imagine them in your heart transforming your pain to joy. “May I be free of the root of this suffering. May I find comfort and happiness.”

As your heart begins to feel more open, remind yourself “Other people feel this too.” Whatever pain or suffering you’ve been experiencing; many others are going through the same kind of feeling. As you breathe in, reach out mentally to those who are suffering like you, with a desire to remove their pain. As you breathe out, say silently to yourself, “May you be free of the root of this suffering. May you find comfort and happiness.” As you send out these wishes, you might imagine people who are smiling and laughing. Again you may envision a mentor or spiritual being in your heart who transforms their pain. Continue for a moment to reach out to these people and send them joy. “May you be free of the root of this suffering. May you find comfort and happiness.”

Now think of something for which you are grateful. It may be as simple as a smile or a kind word. It may be for a friend or partner who has been supportive of you, or it may involve having a moment to enjoy the beauty of nature around you. Visualize this moment or person, and then gradually move your focus to your body. Does such gratitude warm and expand your heart? As you breathe in, focus on this sensation. As you enjoy this feeling, remind yourself, “Other people deserve to feel this too.” As you breathe out, send out a desire for others to feel such joy, saying “May your heart be filled with joy. May you be cheerful and carefree.” <gong>