The Asshole in My Head

From the Victoria Regina Tarot, the Four of Cups; from the Universe Cards, "Neutron Star:"

          Wow, look at the size of those canning jars. That woman could pickle herself in one, and with that expression on her face, she looks like she might be a dill. Though richly dressed and adorned with many jewels, she seems depressed, apathetic and unhappy. She's the perfect image for what the Buddha described as dukkha, or dissatisfaction with life. This card fits in well with the Neutron Star, which Stopforth assigns the keyword "intensity." This was a huge star that exploded, causing its core to collapse and become extremely dense. One handful would weigh as much as a fleet of ships. Isn't that how some emotions make us feel, as if we carry such weight on our shoulders? I was listening this morning to an interview with Dan Harris, an ABC news anchor and author, who I'm sure could relate to this woman. After spending time in the war-torn Middle East, he came home bearing emotional trauma. A panic attack in the middle of a national broadcast motivated him to seek help, and he eventually found his way to mindfulness and meditation. In his book, he speaks about "the asshole in my head." This is the voice of the ego that tells us the sky is falling and - because we're such screw-ups - we don't stand a chance of getting out of this mess. Through meditation, Harris began to realize the voice was only a phantom, not reality. Mindfulness helped him catch its whisper before succumbing to it. I too can choose to heed its dire forecast or change to another channel.