Soft Spots

This week I'll be using the Norse Tarot deck and book set, created by Clive Barrett and published by Aquarian Press. I'll also be using the Wolf Pack, created and self-published by Robert Petro. Today's draws are the Queen of Cups and Obstacle:

          I could learn a lot from the Queen of Cups, a bodhisattva in training. When those I mentor come to me with their problems, I often just give them a reality check instead of sympathy. This particular Queen isn't one to hang out in anyone's pity party either (notice that rock she's standing on). But she's still willing to empathize with the person she's listening to, putting herself in their shoes. It takes a special person to be willing to remove the armor from her heart and experience the pain of another person. Yet it makes me feel vulnerable and afraid to expose my soft spot. However, the kicker is that such protection doesn't really protect; it just keeps makes me in a constant state of fear. Here is my Obstacle, shown by the wolf behind the fence. To become a compassionate warrior (in a spiritual sense), I must train so that I stand firm rather than run. Practices such as tonglen and loving-kindness meditation can help. But sometimes I need to remember why that soft spot is so special, and why I need to leave it open. For that, I use a 'Benefactor Moment' meditation (click 'Read More' for the meditation).

“Benefactor Moment” Meditation

adapted from the teachings of John Makransky

When we feel alone, isolated and unloved, we cling tightly to our ego-centered thoughts. Yet when we feel loved just as we are, our innate capacity to love opens and extends in wider circles to others. This meditation helps us to remember we are worthy of love through the acceptance of someone in our lives – a benefactor. Think of someone with whom you made a loving connection, a person with whom you felt safe, loved and happy to be with (any time from childhood to present). This moment may have been brief, but during that time this person took joy in your being and may have laughed with you, deeply listened to you, showed you kindness or gave you comfort. If it makes you happy to recall such a moment, then it is suitable for this practice.

Bring to mind a benefactor moment, a simple moment of loving connection and joy. Immerse yourself in all the sensations of that instance, not as a distant memory from the past, but as if it is happening right now. See that person responding to your deep worth and potential without judgment. If your mind becomes distracted, gently bring it back to this moment of happiness.

Open your heart to your benefactor’s wishes of joy and well-being for you. Imagine their wishes as a gentle energy, a soft radiance of healing rays. Bathe your body in this tender radiance of love. As thoughts arise, let them be enveloped in this loving energy. No matter who you are or what you think you deserve, just accept the benefactor’s wish for your deepest happiness. Be like a kitten soaking up the rays of the morning sun.

As you release your visualization, acknowledge the basic goodness of your being that deserves such love. Repeat these words in your mind: “May I experience well-being, happiness, and peace. May I experience well-being, happiness, and peace…”