Essence of Love

From the Prairie Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Medicine Cards, Turtle:

We think we need to be able to trust, just as we think we need to be able to be loved. But we have it backwards. As adults, we don't need to be loved. The only real emotional need, if we want to call it that, is to love. To love is our essence; it is who we are. ― Ezra Bayda

          How do we love with an open heart that is without discrimination? In Pali, mind and heart are considered as one; there is no compassion without wisdom. Chogyam Trungpa coined the term 'idiot compassion,' our ego's version of love that has more to do with our own expectations, self-image and desires than fulfilling a real need. True compassion uses discernment and offers the right action at the right time in response to another’s suffering. It doesn't support or condone an unhealthy situation, attempt to people please, or try to 'fix' a person because we want to escape their suffering. It requires that we question the ego's intentions and self-involved version of reality. Turtle is the oldest symbol for Earth in Native American teachings, and its message is a reminder of the cycle of give and take. In adding it to the Ace of Cups, the idea of self-compassion emerges. No one can build their happiness on the back of another; we each are responsible for our own. When I practice self-care rather than self-indulgence or self- pity, I can keep my own cup full.