Seven Tools

From the Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot, the Ten of Cups; from the Victorian Flower Oracle, Thistle:

For better or worse, intelligence can come to nothing when the emotions hold sway.

― Daniel Goleman

Looks like this happy family did build their home on a firm foundation. The companion book says the man is planting a shamrock (timely, as today is St. Patrick's Day). Yet emotional intelligence likely has more to do with emotional fulfillment than luck. Goleman defined it as "the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships." Thistle may be sharp and prickly, but donkeys could care less, thus the keyword 'threat.' When our contentment is under attack, what tools do we use? Justin Bariso (EQ Applied) lists seven:

1. The pause button.
2. Volume control (dial things back).
3. The tuning dial (listen carefully).
4. Mute (during intense emotions, sharing a point of view isn't usually helpful).
5. Record (while on mute, remember key points that are shared).
6. Playback (revisit the topic when both parties have cooled down).
7. Playback (think about how what you're about to say or do will affect all involved in the long run).