Emotional Maturity

From the Russian Lubok Tarot, the King of Cups; from the Marseille Oracle, Progress:

The Criteria of Emotional Maturity: The ability to deal constructively with reality; The capacity to adapt to change; A relative freedom from symptoms that are produced by tensions and anxieties; The capacity to find more satisfaction in giving than receiving; The capacity to relate to other people in a consistent manner with mutual satisfaction and helpfulness; The capacity to direct one's instinctive hostile energy into creative and constructive outlets; The capacity to love.

―Dr. William C. Menniger

The King of Cups does a lot of listening and guiding; the tools he has cultivated to maintain his equanimity are his secret to staying sane. Beauty, creativity and nature are some of the things that feed his spirit, while self-awareness and personal inventories help him to see reality more clearly. The steam locomotive was first used in the UK in the early 19th century, replacing horse-drawn carts pulled along rails. It represents progress, and in this case, the development of emotional maturity. While few of us would score 100% on Menniger's list, just doing better even in a couple of categories over time counts as an improvement.

The Downside of Imagination

From the Russian Lubok Tarot, the Nine of Swords; from the Marseille Oracle, Presentiments:

When we resist change, it’s called suffering. But when we can let go and not struggle against it, that’s called enlightenment. ~Pema Chödrön

A woman covers her eyes in fear as her horse-drawn sled is surrounded by wolves. The stripes on the wolves are a hint that she's not seeing reality but lost in the forest of ''what ifs." The trumpet represents presentiments, or apprehensions and expectations. When something unexpected and unwanted happens, our mind generally heads down the road of Worst Possible Outcomes. We can become so anxious that we fail to see what we can do that might be beneficial. Before we freak out, let's open our eyes and see what is in front of us rather than what we imagine is there.

A Job Enjoyed

From the Russian Lubok Tarot, the Eight of Pentacles; from the Marseille Oracle, Events:

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined. - Johnny Carson

We don't necessarily have to be great at doing what we love, but if we enjoy our work, we will continue to practice our skills with diligence. As the saying goes, practice makes progress. And part of success is when people appreciate the services or products because they see our joy and satisfaction in doing them. The cup in the oracle card represents Events, or milestones in our lives. There is an achievement that has nothing to do with age or anniversaries. It is when we have the confidence to proclaim the title of what we do, whether it is a baker, artist, or some other occupation. With the tarot card, it suggests the words of Arthur Ashe: "An important key to self-confidence is preparation."

A Matter of Choice

From the Russian Lubok Tarot, the Knight of Wands; from the Marseille Oracle, Destiny:

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.  ~William Jennings Bryan

Some folks are responders, content to relax until a situation arises that requires action. The Knight of Wands is one who triggers situations, the cause and stimulus of many circumstances. This particular knight shields his eyes from the sand picked up by the wind. He rides fast and hard, missing information and details along the way. His mind is on the destination, not the journey. The clock represents Destiny, a term often confused with fate. 'Fate' comes from the Latin, fatum, meaning 'has been spoken;' it suggests outside forces beyond one's control has shaped one's future. 'Destiny' comes from the Latin term destinare, which means 'intended;' it implies choices, not a one-way street. Our families, social status, culture and resources can create expectations about our future that feels sealed. But like the Knight of Wands, we can choose to move away from those assumptions rather than stay stuck in them.

Real Joy

This week I'll be using the Russian Lubok Tarot, created and self-published by Eugene Vinitski and Sergey Savchenko. I'll also be drawing from the Marseille Oracle, a deck created and published by Lo Scarabeo with a little booklet written by Isa Donelli. Today's draws are the Nine of Cups and Passion:

Whenever you get an impression of some pleasure, as with any impression, guard yourself from being carried away by it, let it await your action, give yourself a pause.

—Epictetus

A man sits alone at a beautiful table with food and nine full cups. It seems like this fellow has gotten what he wanted - his wishes have materialized. Whether intended or not, he lacks company to share his pleasures with. Beneath the table an angel and a devil compete for his attention. One suggests he distribute a portion of his good fortune with others, and the other demands that it be consumed all by himself. Passion shows a bellows, a tool used to add oxygen to a fire and increase its size. We long for the dopamine release that will bring us momentary pleasure. Yet what the mind hungers for might need to be questioned; we often crave for things that are not always in our best interest. Is there a healthier alternative that would bring us real joy?

Unlocked

 From the Cosmic Tarot, the Three of Cups; from the L'Oeil de Lotus, Man:

The body cannot lie. It will always tell the truth. ―Dr. Gabor Maté

Unlike the typical carefree dancing of the Three of Cups, here we see a slow, pensive dance. It might suggest freeing the body of emotions locked inside. As Maté explains, stress is just as much physical as mental; our bodies are intrinsically linked to our mind and emotions. Having trustworthy people that we can be vulnerable with may help release what binds us. The illustration for the Man card made me think of an opening line in a Spinners song: "Hand me down my walkin' cane, hand me down my hat." Though it speaks of going to a dance club, movement - walking, yoga, etc. -can be an aid when we attempt to deal with suppressed feelings. 

The quality of our relationships and the support we receive greatly impact our health.

―Dr. Gabor Maté

 

No Tethers

From the Cosmic Tarot, the Nine of Cups; from the L'Oeil de Lotus, Hope:

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck.

― Emma Goldman

What is it that warms your heart, attracts your curiosity, focuses your attention or makes you smile? Whether it involves nature, people, the arts, a hobby, a career or an organization, it is probably something that fulfills us and brings joy and contentment. Yet emotional fulfilment can't be found in the future, only in each moment of our precious life. It can be found if we pay attention and look with a wide view and open mind. Hope suggests we do the work without attachment; we become an optimistic realist. We recognize the potential for change and growth without tethering our happiness to a specific result. 

It's Not Personal

From the Cosmic Tarot, the Nine of Swords; from the L'Oeil de Lotus, Spring:

Q-TIP: Quit taking it personally. ~Al-Anon

A man crouches in pain and fear as swords rain down, serpents slither and buildings crumble. The companion book states this card represents someone who perceives themself as a victim of malice beyond their control. There is no doubt that the world can hit us with metaphorical hailstones at times. But what often makes things worse is that we feel whoever has set these things into motion has a personal vendetta against us. We can get so caught up in our hurt and anger at the other, we forget to take care of ourselves. Spring suggests an awakening, an ability to see anew as if through a child's eyes. It reminds us to ask, "What if it's not really about me?" This doesn't mean people aren't accountable for their actions, but it does allow our emotions to settle so that we can see the situation more clearly and respond appropriately.  

Fierce Love

From the Cosmic Tarot, the Eight of Wands; from the L'Oeil de Lotus, Death:

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink.

— Shunryu Suzuki

In our younger years, we eagerly hurdle toward adulthood, ready to be independent and make our own decisions. In middle age, we are busy with families, jobs, and social groups. Then as we reach elderhood, we begin to realize what we've actually been racing toward - Death. It dawns on us that doing more might not be as important as loving more, and accumulating things not as significant as being generous. Yet Death on the horizon doesn't have to dampen our enthusiasm for life, in fact we can begin to love it all even more fiercely.  

Tempered Transformation

From the Cosmic Tarot, Temperance; from the L'Oeil de Lotus, Interdiction:

And where two raging fires meet together,

They do consume the thing that feeds their fury

―William Shakespeare

Temperance mixes elements in order to create something useful and beneficial. We see it in cooperation, when each person doesn't demand doing everything their way. It is seen in compromise, when countries give up some things in order to reach an accord. Temperance is transformational, helping us avoid extremes so that we can live more skillfully and peacefully. Yet Interdiction - the act of forbidding something in order to prevent something - suggests that Temperance can also save us from overindulging in anything that might cause us or others harm.

It's Good, But...

From the Cosmic Tarot, the Nine of Pentacles; from the L'Oeil de Lotus, Summer:

It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy. 

―George Lorimer

A neighbor once told a friend, "I know money doesn't bring you happiness, but it can help!" She was referring to the breathing space financial stability gives us. The lady in this card, who has time to smell the roses and listen to a bird's song, holds a key in her hand. That key represents the options that she didn't have before. Having worked hard to get to this place of security, it's doubtful she will be impulsive and use her resources unwisely. Summer indicates a time of personal growth through the arts, travel, education and spiritual practice. Economic stability can give us the freedom to seek and discover what we've been missing, things that can add to our lives a more lasting joy than simply increasing our collection of possessions.  

Burden of the Mind

This week I'll be using the Cosmic Tarot, created by Norbert Losche and published by U.S. Games. I'll also be drawing from L'Oeil de Lotus (Eye of the Lotus), created by Colette and Gérard Lougarre and published by Vox Arkhana. Today's cards are the Ten of Wands and Winter:

The burden in our minds is always heavier than the burdens on our shoulders.

― Mehmet Murat ildan

Intense pain, in some respects, is like an orgasm; it literally sweeps away every thought in the mind except for the physical sensation itself. We've all felt some degree of it, and usually battle it like an enemy, wanting the pain to go away and stop disrupting our busy lives. But these thoughts add to our pain. Rebecca Li defines suffering as an experience of the present moment to which we add vexations (craving, aversion, delusion). We want our health back, hate our infirmity, and believe it will last forever. But perhaps there is another way. The oracle card Winter depicts the season of cold and starkness - a fitting representation for pain (especially with the man using the cane). Yet this season will eventually pass, giving way to spring. Pain too can fluctuate, sometimes ebbing sometimes surging. It will not stay unchanged. Curiosity rather than anger may be a guide to less suffering. 

Choice and Effect

From the Somnia Tarot, the Seven of Cups; from the Spirits of Nature Oracle, Diamond (Radiance):

The hardest choices in life aren't between what's right and what's wrong but between what's right and what's best. ― Jamie Ford

There are times when we feel we don't have any options, and there are times when we are spoiled for choice. The latter can be just as challenging, especially when others are pressuring us, when we are under the influence of our emotions, or when we prefer an easier quicker path rather than a longer, more demanding one. It may be helpful to ask ourselves if our visions of the future are based in reality or fantasy. The Diamond card suggests that people also radiate a particular energy, whether warm and positive or manipulative and negative. Since we often want other's input regarding a major decision, it is important to ask those who will be honest with us and who hold no hidden agendas. As Sarah Dessen wrote, "The choices you make now, the people you surround yourself with, they all have the potential to affect your life, even who you are... "

I Want to be Your Friend

From the Somnia Tarot, the Ace of Coins; from the Spirits of Nature Oracle, Rose (Love):

And I said to my body, softly, "I want to be your friend." It took a long breath. And replied, "I have been waiting my whole life for this." —Nayyirah Waheed

Among the fog, several chests sit half-buried, yet only one produces a coin. This display reminds me of all the advertising that constantly tries to sell us their 'chests,' most of which will only supply us with a brief moment of contentment. Yes, we do need income to supply us with necessary shelter, food, clothing and a bit of fun. But wellness of the body is our greatest wealth - a gift that is easy to forget about when there is so much shiny bling to attract our attention. The Rose has long symbolized love, and with the Ace of Coins, it asks us to look at our priorities. What is more important: an accumulation of possessions or the physical care of our bodies?

Restorative Effects

From the Somnia Tarot, the Four of Swords; from the Spirits of Nature, Honeybee (Community):

Nature can have a calming and restorative effect, giving our mind a rest from the intense and mentally fatiguing focus and concentration required in much of our day-to-day lives.

― Noel Brick

Restful solitude, restorative sleep, and a space to breathe deeply are represented by the Four of Swords. Like the sleeping figure in this card, we all need to be able to lay down the boulder we carry and just relax. Relieving the mental weight we bear is an essential part of clearing our mind and allowing it some relief. Our ability to think and perceive reality with discernment depends on it. The Honeybee reminds us of the people with whom we associate and share common interests. I have found that when I am living in a constant state of stress, I need to be careful of the community I spend time with. Those folks who make me laugh, who point out what is beautiful, joyful or awe-inspiring can have the same effect as being in nature or a good night's sleep. 

What to Do with a Lit Match

From the Somnia Tarot, the Hermit; from the Spirits of Nature Oracle, River (Flow):

Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.

―Justin Bariso

Bruno describes the solitude of this Hermit as allowing him unencumbered self-reflection. He stands on a rock, lantern in hand, while icy waters crash around him. It makes me think of examining our feelings rather than letting them direct our choices and actions. Emotions are just reactive energies that color life but also cloud our clarity. If we pause and observe them without commentary (shine our lantern on them), they tend to dissipate. River (Flow) suggests that we immerse ourselves in the moment with mindfulness. We pay attention without judgment, without grasping or pushing away what shows up. We can't control our emotions, but we can choose what to do with them. Like a struck match, we can either fuel them with thoughts or let them burn out without adding any tender.

Newton's Law

From the Somnia Tarot, the Two of Coins; from the Spirits of Nature Oracle, Cicadas:

The law of centrifugal force seems to be as true for the human condition as it is for the Newtonian mechanics. The faster our lives spin, the more things tend to fly apart.

― Richard Paul Evans

I saw a pin-on button once with a duck and the slogan, "I may look like I'm gliding across water, but I'm paddling like hell underneath." Life often calls on us to step up our obligations and duties, but doing so for too long can take a toll. Our bodies try to warn us that we're overloaded as our thoughts struggle through a fog of exhaustion. When we begin to feel busy but not productive, we may need to take Haemin Sunim's advice and ask ourselves, "Is it the world that’s busy, or is it my mind?" Maybe we are trying to fix or change a situation that is impossible. The Cicada, an insect that emerges in mass numbers and produces an oceanic buzzing sound, tells us to find our voice. Can we tell people 'No' when they try to add to our load - even those who think they are being helpful? Can we delegate some of our duties to others? We may be able to assist others, but we can only save ourselves.

A Thousand Fibers

From the Somnia Tarot, the Six of Coins; from the Spirits of Nature Oracle, the Sun:

We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.

― Herman Melville

Giving is generally done from one of two types of motives: transactional or relational. Transactional giving is self-serving and aimed at getting something quickly with as little trouble as possible. Relational giving is rooted in seeing a connection between people; it recognizes the give and take of relationships as natural and rewarding. True benevolence doesn't expect praise or payback, because it comes from the compassionate understanding that the resources given are shared between equals - we're all in this together. The Sun represents faith, not based in a set of beliefs on which we cling but on what we observe and experience. Faith, Alan Watts explains, is like floating: "You don’t grab hold of the water when you swim... the attitude of faith is to let go, and become open to truth, whatever it might turn out to be." That sums up the fruits of our giving and receiving as well.

Port in the Storm

This week I'll be using the Somnia Tarot and its companion book, created and self-published by Nicholas Bruno. I'll also be using the Spirits of Nature Oracle, created by Steven Farmer and published by Hay House. Today's draws are the Two of Cups and Hurricane:

Don’t let people pull you into their storm. Pull them into your peace.

―Kimberly Jones

We all need someone to whom we can sincerely say, "You're my person." The Two of Cups can represent deep friendships, lovers, or faithful partnerships. These are the bonds that help us enjoy life to its fullest and keep our head above water when we're swimming in despair. Often, they are formed from yin and yang personalities, each companion helping the other to see the whole. Hurricanes are one of the most powerful and destructive forces of nature, generally 300 miles in width. Yet in the eye of these storms, the violent winds are calm. There is no way to prevent great disturbances - they are a part of the natural flow of life. But we can find our center during the turmoil by practicing the tenets of the Zen Peacemaker Order: Not-Knowing (letting go of fixed ideas), Bearing Witness (seeing all aspects of a situation, including our attachments and judgments), and Taking Action (responding appropriately from a place of equanimity). And of course, it helps to do these things when we have a person who walks with us through the storm.

Purpose Paired With Bliss

From the Greenwood Tarot, the Knight of Cups; from the Rune Cards, Sun (Sowilo):

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

When salmon have matured, they migrate up freshwater rivers to spawn, swimming with determination and purpose. Potter suggests the self-sacrificing Knight of Cups believes he also serves a greater purpose. This compassionate fellow knows through experience what researchers have now discovered: altruism has a positive effect on subjective well-being, including life satisfaction and positive emotions. Yet the Sowilo (Sun) rune reminds us that even the most devoted person benefits from time soaking in their own beam of joy and vitality. As Joseph Cambell explains:

[Sacred space] is an absolute necessity for anybody today... Our life has become so economic and practical in its orientation that, as you get older, the claims of the moment upon you are so great, you hardly know where the hell you are, or what it is you intended. You are always doing something that is required of you. Where is your bliss station? You have to try to find it.

Dead Wood

From the Greenwood Tarot, the Seven of Wands; from the Rune Cards, Tiw (Tiwaz):

There is very little right/wrong or good/bad in this world. There is, however, use and not useful.

― Clarissa Pinkola Estés

As we move through life, humans are usually unaware of the mental 'burrs' that stick to us. We pick them up from family and friends, the values held by our culture or society, and experiences that make an impression on us. While some are useful and help keep us safe and whole, many others are detrimental. Potts suggests the Seven of Wands indicates that now is a time to clear the dead wood from our lives. What is holding us back? What makes us rethink every choice we make? Tiwaz is associated with the North Star in the Anglo-Saxon rune poem, describing it as a guiding star that never fails. Are we relying on our mental burrs to guide us, or do we trust ourselves? Margie Warrell's words can encourage us:

Trusting yourself is not about becoming invulnerable to fear or eradicating self-doubt. It’s about daring to lean into a deeper source of power that lives within us and around us. It’s about taking the ultimate risk and placing a bet on ourselves that within us is all that’s required to meet the demands of each moment as it arises. 

The Change We Seek

From the Greenwood Tarot, the Six of Arrows (Swords); from the Rune Cards, Horse (Ehwaz):

Our habitual and often default ways of thinking and reacting cause us to suffer.

~Rebecca Li

Years ago, Stephen Stills wrote a song called "Love the One You're With." This card's anthem could be called "Love the One Within." It is a choice to stop blaming, sighing and ranting; instead, we become aware of our own mindset and attitude and how they affect our well-being. Potter's card shows six swords arranged in a six-pointed star - a symbol of peace and harmony. It's time to be a good partner to our own self and start choosing the thoughts and actions that will help us find equanimity. Horse (Ehwaz) implies partnership and movement. As Barack Obama eloquently said, "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."

Laser-like Focus

From the Greenwood Tarot, the Eight of Stones (Pentacles); from the Rune Cards, Day (Dagaz):

The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus. 

— Bruce Lee

A person sits alone in a cave, surrounded by beasts and beings he or she has carved and painted on the stone walls. Potter suggests this card is about the ability to work alone independently and with deep concentration. Such work comes from the depth of the soul, something AI could only semi-replicate. As Terry Goodkind wrote, "Art reveals the artist’s inner self. Art reveals a man’s ideals, what he values." Dagaz (Day) is a rune that symbolizes the end of one cycle and the beginning of another, which includes the potential for new growth. Working in solitude has its advantages, but coming back out of our cave can help stimulate inspiration and new ideas.

Don't Take Mussolini's Advice

From the Greenwood Tarot, the Knight of Stones (Pentacles); from the Rune Cards, Beaver (Ior):

We become strong, I feel, when we have no friends upon whom to lean, or to look to for moral guidance. ~Benito Mussolini

Potter's Knight of Stones is represented by a wolf and the Pictish rendition of a wolf; in Gaelic, wolf is Mac Tire, meaning "Earth's Son." The Celts thought of the wolf as a guardian and guide (Cormac - the Irish King - was said to have been reared by wolves). As much as we like to think of ourselves as independent and self-sufficient, we all need guidance and support at various points in our life. Otherwise, we may end up like Mussolini who followed no one's suggestions but his own and plunged Italy and most of Europe into darkness. True mentors don't tell us right the path to take but hold up a light so that we can see what lies down each path. The rune Ior is represented by a beaver, an animal that spends its time on land and in water. It suggests fluidity, an ease and ability to move between different thoughts and responses. Rather than being locked into one mode, we are able to choose what is most skillful and beneficial in each situation.

Learned Helplessness

From the Greenwood Tarot, the Five of Stones (Pentacles); from the Rune Cards, Elk Sedge (Algiz):

In psychology, learned helplessness is a state that occurs after a person has experienced a stressful situation repeatedly. They believe that they are unable to control or change the situation, so they do not try, even when opportunities for change are available. —Jayne Leonard

In this Five of Stones, a person hides while multiple lightning strikes occur. Potter suggests that there are times we all have to pull back when health or finances go off track, but we need to be careful that we don't become overly passive. Even when things are out of our control, we can direct our thoughts and attitude in a more beneficial direction. And although there are many things we can't fix or change, we may be able influence them in some way. But this all hinges on us not curling up in a ball like a roly-poly. The rune Algiz is represented by a sedge with razon sharp edges, implying defense and protection. The deck's companion booklet suggests that we should be wary in times of need, when we may grab quickly at any support we easily find. We should be careful our desire for comfort does not bring us more suffering.