Self-Worth

From the Sasuraibito Tarot, the King of Wands; from the Soul Cards, Shame:

"The queen and I are starting a replanting program to replace some of the trees lost in the storm. Do you have a spot where you could plant one?" "Of course!" I answer, unable to resist his sweet smile (and anyone who walks around with a sapling tucked in his robe). As I take the little tree he reminds me just how much attention and care will be required, especially the first year. He is after all, the king of follow-through. But suddenly, my good feeling begins to evaporate as old tapes play in my head. I hear the voices of the past tell me I am worthless, that I can't do anything right. One voice in particular tells me that this tree will never thrive under my care. I begin to physically and mentally curl up, as if to hide. The king notices my body language and says, "We are all vulnerable to making wrong choices. Yet no single mistake, no matter how big, should be a global assessment of one's worth as a person. Life gives each of us a chance to learn as we live each day." He points out the beautiful autumn colors of the maple I planted years ago, and reminds me of the good I have grown. I take a deep breath, emerge from my mental shell and hold my hand out for the sapling.

 [Compassion] calls for acknowledging that it is easy to beat yourself with hindsight over the limited awareness you may have had in your past. ~ Bernard Golden

Detach to Discern

From the Legacy of the Divine Tarot, the King of Cups; from Steps to Serenity, "Shame:"

          I used to do a lot of cane pole fishing when I was younger; I attached one of those red and white plastic corks on the line to alert me to any nibbles. The King of Cups reminds me of a cork, as he floats atop his own emotions. He stays buoyant as the water ripples around him, offering unconditional love without allowing his empathy to become entangled in drama. If he happens to get hooked by some emotional chaos, he sends out the alert "Pull up! Pull up!" His appearance advises me that love doesn't mean getting yanked under.
          I look at guilt and shame as being slightly different, though they may feel the same. Guilt is the result of harm done - through words or actions - and amends or reparations are required to dissolve it. Shame on the other hand, is a product of emotional manipulation. It is designed to make a person feel worthless and thus malleable. But because they feel so similar, it can be hard to tell the difference. Am I being selfish or taking care of my own needs? It helps to be objective like the King of Cups, taking myself out of the picture and imagining another person in the same situation. Detach in order to discern.