Runners and Seekers

From the Golden Tarot, the Eight of Cups; from the Yantra Deck, One:

The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door... ― Elizabeth Gilbert

          There seem to be two kinds of people who leave: the runners and the seekers. The runners are making an escape from a painful situation or unhealthy environment. They feel they need to get away in order to survive. The seekers leave to explore, to find what they think will fulfill them - not to survive but to thrive. In both cases, the person often fails to see the choices they've made that led them to those unhappy places; without inner change, they might wind back up there again only surrounded by different faces. The One card is represented by an I Ching hexagram that symbolizes receptiveness. It encourages us to see our interconnection in spite of our diversity. Yesterday, a woman said she wanted to rename the Fourth of July 'Interdependence Day' to focus on our need for harmony - I heartily agree. But what about those people who cause us harm or suffering? Then I need to remember what my buddy Carolyn wrote, that everyone originated from the Big Bang. We are all conditioned by the circumstances we've experienced (so our perceived realities are different), yet my stardust is not any shinier than anyone else's. I don't have to live with them, but I don't need to hate them either.

Really Living

This week I'll be using the Golden Tarot, created by Kat Black and published by U.S. Games. Along with it, I'll be drawing from the Yantra Deck, created by Karl Schaffner and Maya Deva Adjani. It was published by Vayu Publishing. Today's cards are Temperance and Life:

If one oversteps the bounds of moderation, the greatest pleasures cease to please.

―Epictetus

            There is a saying in recovery circles: "Easy does it, but do it." The second part of that statement is not a problem for me. When I get passionately involved in something, I don't shuffle slowly from one phase to the next , creating little clouds of dust at my feet. I careen from one stage to another, barely registering anything but the home plate I plan to slide into with great force. Now if there was a deadline that must be met, that might be different, but this is rarely the case. My lack of balance in this regard keeps me from recognizing the pleasure and joy I might experience at a moderate pace. It also creates a wide open door for mistakes and injuries. The Life yantra shows an abstract form of the wheel of life. It reminds me that if I'm not awake and aware as each moment unfolds during my trips around the sun, I have lost life's true meaning and purpose.

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.

―William Wallace

Sowing, Reaping, Recentering

From the Tarot de St. Croix, the Nine of Pentacles; from the Archetype Cards, Exorcist:

There's a season for sowing, a season for reaping. Self-discipline helps you know which is which.

~Gary Ryan Blair

          This woman has found something she enjoys and has turned it into a livelihood. But it wasn't just passion that got her to a place of self-sufficiency; having good work ethics made a huge difference. Yet she's found balance too, knowing when to keep her hand on the plow and when to enjoy the harvest. The Exorcist brings up something that may slip our awareness that could destroy what we've created - triggers. A trigger is a stimulus (person, place or thing) that cause a strong emotional reaction, often leading us to react unskillfully. The trigger may even come from within, such as a memory or sensation. A therapist or support group can be helpful in recognizing our triggers and coping with them through cognitive behavior exercises, deep breathing, meditation, journaling and physical movement. As Arlin Cuncic explains, the goal is to "detach yourself from the trigger, re-center, and focus on your coping strategy." Life shouldn't be simply survived, but appreciated and enjoyed.

The Hooks of Attachment

From the Tarot de St. Croix, the Three of Swords; from the Archetype Cards, Goddess:

Thoughts are not a problem in themselves. Thoughts are like fish-bait. If you stop biting at the bait you won't get hooked. ―Willa Miller

          The fire added to the broken heart reminds me of how anger and pain are braided together - anger over a trust that has been broken and the hurt of accepting the reality of it. A feeling of aggression can drive us to escalate the situation, thinking we're seeking resolution. Yet it appears one of the swords in this card is transforming into a needle. Perhaps the recognition is dawning that healing will only come through our own efforts to let go of the drama and move on. The Goddess archetype represents the wisdom of the feminine, seen in characteristics such as patience, compassion, acceptance, reflection and intuition. If we can embrace and hold our pain with compassion (without getting hooked by the mental story), the energy of emotion will pass. If the embers become a flame again, we repeat this practice, over and over until those coals have cooled.

When you begin to investigate, you notice, for one thing, that whenever there is pain of any kind—the pain of aggression, grieving, loss, irritation, resentment, jealousy, indigestion, physical pain—if you really look into that, you can find out for yourself that behind the pain there is always something we are attached to. There is always something we’re holding on to. The first thing the Buddha ever taught was the truth that suffering comes from attachment. That’s in the books. But when you discover it yourself, it goes a little deeper right away. ―Pema Chodron

Upside-down Observations

From the Tarot de St. Croix, the Hanged Man; from the Archetype Cards, Knight:

The chances that you will wake up are in direct proportion to the amount of truth you can take without running away. ― Anthony de Mello

          Limbo is an uncomfortable place to be, but I often find myself there when my desires bump into the brick wall of reality. Intellectually, I know there are things we can control (our attitude and actions), things we may influence but not control (such as when we vote or offer suggestions), and things over which we have no control at all (which is pretty much everything external to us). Limbo holds me in a position of surrender until I my heart catches up with my head, giving me time to accept my powerlessness. The Knight archetype seeks to be benevolent and brave, serving others with integrity. When seeking to be of assistance, it can come as a surprise that the other person is uninterested unless we enable them to continue their downward spiral. At this point, I can judge them severely or see myself in them - that longing for the truth to be different than it is, and doing whatever I can not to see it.   

When you renounce something, you’re tied to it. The only way to get out of this is to see through it. 

― Anthony de Mello

Confrontational Compassion

From the Tarot de St. Croix, Strength; from the Archetype Cards, Hero/Heroine:

To find our way to courage requires us to face the lion,

but to stand by our courage requires us to be the lion.

—James Ricklef

          My inner lion wants to protect me and help me reach my full potential. Unfortunately, it gets triggered by fear and often reacts with roars and rage, neither of which has been beneficial to me or my relationships. To face my lion means to see clearly what scares me, find the courage to accept what is real, and search for sane ways to deal with it. But that lion can come in useful when I need to be the Heroine - taking on my own challenges or working to right an injustice. But it means not letting fear or anger color my vision, seeing what I believe to be true rather than the truth itself. Authentic compassion can let me stand up and work for what is right without the trail of destruction often left by the motivational factors of anger and fear.

 Unlike self-righteous anger, which hates the “bad ones” on behalf of the “good ones,” confrontational compassion protects all by challenging all differently—those suffering injustices and those inflicting them. —John Makransky

Earnestness in Learning

From the Tarot de St. Croix, the Page of Pentacles; from the Archetype Cards, the Judge:

To be an artist it is necessary to live with our eyes wide open, to breath in the colors of mountain and sky, to know the sound of leaves rustling, the smell of snow, the texture of bark. To be an artist is to notice every beautiful and tragic thing, to cry freely, to collect experience and shape it into forms that others can share. ― Jan Phillips

          This young man, full of enthusiasm for learning photography, finds everything worthy of being photographed. (Thankfully with digital cameras, this no longer costs a fortune.) But how long will his zeal to study and practice continue? I remember years ago when I wanted to start my own blog, I was encouraged to do so by my friend Sharyn. She told me, "The hard thing is not starting, it's when you have to write a fresh perspective on the same card over and over." This Page represents 'beginner's mind,' an attitude of openness and a lack of preconceptions. It is the ability to embrace experience anew, as a beginner, no matter the level of skill or knowledge. Judge, in its healthy form, helps me discern and assess from a place of objectivity. For any artist or crafts-person, it is hard for the Judge's flip side - the Inner Critic - not to appear. One way to spot and override this critic is to write down statements as if delivering them to someone else. Would I actually say this to someone else if it were their work? If there is no compassion in sight, it's the Inner Critic not the Judge doing the talking.