Shame isn't a quiet grey cloud, shame is a drowning man who claws his way on top of
you, scratching and tearing your skin, pushing you under the surface. ~ Kirsty Eager
Friday, June 30, 2017
Look Above Your Shoelaces
From the Victoria Regina Tarot, the Three of Swords; from the Alchemist Oracle, 'Flying High:'
There appears to be a dead body beneath this cringing woman's divan. Her body language suggests grief that includes the weight of shame - the idea that she could have somehow prevented what happened. I've had a few people close to me commit suicide, so I know how ferocious and persistent such thoughts can be. There is a constant replaying of scenes where words and actions are analyzed to see just where I might have been able to re-balance the tipping point. Yet this kind of thinking doesn't help, but only deepens the thrust of the swords in the heart. No amount of analysis or guilt will rewrite history. The High Flying card suggests it is the quality of our thoughts that determine whether we continue in our misery or rise above it. It takes awareness and persistent effort to rewire our thinking and divert our energy elsewhere. With this effort will come the realization that sometimes all the love in the world just isn't enough to change the way the wheel of life turns.
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So many "what iff's" are penetrating our thoughts in such moments. But the past can't be changed only accepted and then we try to move on. Flying High is like a deep breath of fresh air in a situation like this
ReplyDeleteStrange how some of us feel the need to take on the weight of other folk's choices.
DeleteRegret,shame, and the 'if only.' My heart breaks for those left behind in those tragic situations.
ReplyDeleteWe can all use butterfly magic to transform our pain.
I'm not sure I believe in magic, but I do believe in talking about our pain with someone so that it doesn't become to heavy to bear. :)
Deletelike underwater, when down it is hard to even understand the concept Of up
ReplyDeleteYes, it is useless to try to figure out 'why' when the mind is so dark it lets no light in.
DeleteThis puts me in mind of the old Cary Grant movie 'Arsenic and Old Lace'. They hide a dead body in a window seat. There, when the truth comes out, it really is quite horrid. Really, though, most times when we expose the skeletons in the cupboard, we see that the bleached bones are just sticks we've been beating ourselves with :D
ReplyDeleteIsn't that the truth. With guilt (where there is an actual wrong done), you can at least make amends. But with shame all you can do is beat yourself up.
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