Common Bonds

From the Anna K Tarot, the Nine of Cups; from the Meditation Cards, 'Compare and Contrast:'

          At first glance, this newly married couple might seem a strange choice for the Nine of Cups, a card that often means a temporary feeling of satisfaction. But married folks know what living with another person is like when the honeymoon wears off and irritations begin to creep in. If the relationship is going to last, we've got to do a lot of work. And that doesn't mean we have to figure out how to keep each other happy; it means discovering joy within ourselves that increases our ability to love each other.
          Compare and Contrast is paired with a quote from Judy Lief:

The habit of faultfinding is part of a larger pattern of insecurity in which we always feel the need to compare ourselves to other people. It is as though we need to convince ourselves that we are okay, which we can only do indirectly, in comparison to people who are less okay.

Using other people to measure our contentment is always a bad idea. It either leaves us feeling superior or inferior. We fail to see the faulty reasoning in comparing our insides with other people's outsides (which likely look just as insecure as ours do). We'd do better to remember our commonalities, as Rumi describes: "What is this competition we feel then, before we go, one at a time, through the same gate?"