Our Versions of Reality

From the Swietlistej Drogi, the King of Swords; from the Mirrors of the Heart, Healthfulness:

It's funny how humans can wrap their mind around things and fit them into their version of reality.

―Rick Riordan

This King leans on his downward-pointed sword, underscoring his belief that the real world is grounded in logic, evidence and facts. Yet many of us imagine a different reality - either one full of specific desires we crave or one full of fears we attempt to push away. But these hopes and fears are not in the present, thus they are not concrete realities. He asks, "Is it not enough just to deal with what is actually happening this day?" Healthfulness is impacted by our thoughts and the mental stories that we create. As Susan Bauer-Wu points out, "Stories are automatic, and they can carry you away. They can agitate the mind, which in turn agitates the body and shakes up your world in general. "For the sake of your mental and physical health, be mindful of what you mind is up to.

Mini Vacation

 From the Swietlistej Drogi, the Queen of Cups; from the Mirrors of the Heart, Strength:

Laughter is an instant vacation. 

—Milton Berle

Often the Queen of Cups is put in the role of a therapist, someone who lets you talk through your feelings. But if you're lucky, she's also a friend that baptizes you in joy and fun, then lifts your spirits high with laughter. In these uncertain and disturbing times, we need a mini vacation from the darkness. Time spent with those who gladden our hearts and boost our morale also give us an infusion of Strength. This is not the kind of power that pushes forcefully back at the opposition, but the kind that offers gentle resilience. It gives us the courage to keep our hearts open in a world that tells us to keep them closed. 

Acts of Stewardship

From the Swietlistej Drogi, the Page of Swords; from the Mirrors of the Heart, Help:

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me.

―Alice Roosevelt Longworth

As much as it might pain us to admit, we've probably all got a little Alice in us. The Page of Swords, who enjoys collecting and disseminating information, would probably have a permanent seat next to her. He hasn't yet learned the importance of making sure what he hears is fact of fiction, he's just excited to pass it along. Help is a reminder that whether we tell stories about others is an ethical choice. Yonatan Hambourger reminds us: "When someone is misrepresented in a conversation, something delicate is placed in your hands. In small communities especially, word travels fast, and a sentence spoken casually can shape a reputation for years. Choosing to correct gently, to remain silent rather than amplify harm, or to speak with care when others are absent—these are acts of stewardship..."

Words of Wisdom?

From the Swietlistej Drogi, the High Priest (Hierophant); from the Mirrors of the Heart, Earth:

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

—Paul McCartney / John Lennon

This High Priest/Hierophant is a deep thinker, studying and writing commentary on scriptures. Centuries ago, the high priest led ceremonies and rituals for atoning for sins, but more importantly, he was considered a mediator between God and the people. He was the mouthpiece of God, offering guidance and correction. I suppose it helps to have authorities who interpret and explain, especially so others don't twist things to suit their purposes. But that doesn't mean the go-between person won't do the same - just look at way the Trump administration has defiled the words of the Constitution. Earth reminds us to plant the words we hear and see if we get briars or good fruit. Perhaps we might take Buddha's advice: "don’t go by reports, by legends, by traditions, by scripture, by logical conjecture, by inference, by analogies, by agreement through pondering views, by probability, or by the thought, ‘This contemplative is our teacher.’ When you know for yourselves that, ‘These qualities are skillful; these qualities are blameless; these qualities are praised by the wise; these qualities, when adopted and carried out, lead to welfare and to happiness’ — then you should enter and remain in them."

Initiation

From the Swietlistej Drogi, the Nine of Cups; from the Mirrors of the Heart, Awakening:

Much like those seed pods that only germinate in the heat of fire, the soul seed we carry responds to the heat generated by initiation. —Francis Weller

Happiness and contentment don't always come only when we've made strides in the material realm. Here a woman anoints a person who has the look of a recently released prisoner of war. Difficulties that must be faced and endured often act as an initiation. As Jack Kornfield explains, "Initiation means that you have to go through a narrow place that's so difficult to get through you can't take your baggage with you. It sort of strips you down in some difficult way." Yet for those who don't give up and make it through, a transformation occurs. Francis Weller describes this: "The process yielded someone more attuned to responsibilities than rights, more aware of multiple entanglements than entitlements." Awakening is that stirring of the heart and mind this experience brings. Yes, we find happiness, but we also develop wisdom, courage and compassion.

Eloquence

 From the Swietlistej Drogi, the Ace of Swords; from the Mirrors of the Heart Openness:

Eloquence is a painting of the thoughts.

—Blaise Pascal

I've had teachers who were incredibly smart and well educated, yet they did not know how to explain ideas to others. That kind of teaching results in rote learning without understanding. But then I've also had teachers (and writers) who could paint a picture with their words, illustrating the most complex concepts. Those eloquent communicators are a treasure because they offer insight. Openness suggests that the responsibility is not just on the speaker, but also the listener. As Elena Brower expresses, "Asking more questions and practicing sitting quietly strips certainty away and allows a freshness to emerge, a bright curiosity. Concepts and narratives can fall away, we can venture out beyond self and other, beyond yes and no, dead and alive, right and wrong."

Begin By Descending

This week I'll be using the Swietlistej Drogi Tarot (Tarot of the Radiant Path), created by Alla Alicja Chrzanowska and published by Studio Astropsychologii. I'll also be drawing from the oracle Mirrors of the Heart, created and self-published by Lily S. May. Today's draws are the Three of Wands and Humility:

Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility. —St. Augustine

Like this fellow, architects and engineers often create small-scale models before building the project that is intended. Bob Borson explains, "Individuals have always seemed to be much more responsive to physical models that have the ability to convey a sense of depth, dimension & texture. All you have to do is put a model in the middle of a room where there are images on all the walls and watch where the crowd spends their time." Threes are about synthesis: knowing what we want to create, being confident in our ability, and making concrete progress. Yet what happens when our "prototype" proves that our calculations are slightly off? Do we bulldoze ahead anyway, or do we back up and rework our plans? Taking the latter course does not mean we have failed but are conscientious. As Simone Weil stated, "Humility is attentive patience."

At What Cost?

From the Mystical Moments Tarot, the Five of Swords; from the Inner Eye Oracle, Misfortune:

Take another little piece of my heart now, baby

―Janis Joplin

There are those who believe they should win at all costs - even arguments. Their tongues can be like a razor blade, intentionally slicing and causing enough hurt that the other person surrenders. We might not visibly see the scars they leave, but the resonance lingers; when something similar is said, the pain resurfaces. Healing often requires putting as much distance between us and the inflictor as possible. Misfortune, however, will follow those with sharp tongues and cold hearts in the form of paranoia. Somewhere in the primitive form of their brain, they assume there will be payback. They obsess, lose sleep, and imagine all the ways others might exact revenge. They might "win," but they will have no peace.

Uncharted Territories

From the Mystical Moments Tarot, the World; from the Inner Eye Oracle, Communication:

When you get into uncharted territory, and you have no idea what you're doing and how it's going to turn out, that's the peak level of creativity. You're with the currents. You're out in the uncharted territories of your own mind. —Will Smith

This woman realizes she is not separate but a part of the planet she inhabits. She reminds me of a show I've been watching and enjoying - National Geographic's "Pole to Pole" with Will Smith. Inspired by his mentor Dr. S. Allen Counter, Smith travels across the seven continents to seek out the most remote places and people, and the stories they have to tell. We get to see the raw beauty of our planet, as well as hear the way Smith's own eyes have been opened. Communication allows us to relate our experiences to each other. We often get stuck in our daily trudge and forget that each day is a new adventure. What would happen if we knew we would end our day by sharing the new things we noticed and learned instead of just complaining?

Big Smiles, Big Burdens

From the Mystical Moments Tarot, the Ten of Wands; from the Inner Eye Oracle, Decision:

No matter how bad you have it, someone will always trade places with you.

—Vince Flynn

I've been a part of the Armchair Theologians book club for well over a decade now; we are a close group and have developed a great respect and fondness for each other. Yesterday I was leading the discussion ("The Cosmic Web"), and we ended a little early. I took advantage of the extra time and asked each person how they were (really) doing. It is always a shock to find out the people who seem to live such charmed lives are often carrying the heaviest of burdens. Decision asks if we would trade lives with another, especially if we are well acquainted with their actual rather than imagined life. We might reconsider the weight of our own loads, seeing them a little lighter than was first thought. People need us to ask about them, especially now, to let them know someone cares how they're doing. As Oliver Stark said, "Often the people with the biggest smiles can be struggling the most."

Accepting the Thorns

From the Mystical Moments Tarot, the Nine of Wands; from the Inner Eye Oracle, the Leader:

If you enjoy the fragrance of a rose, you must accept the thorns which it bears. 

–Isaac Hayes

We often choose a role in life because it sounds exciting - teacher, soldier, activist, nurse, foster parent - only to discover that commitment involves a lot of thorny challenges. Those in it for the glory instead of strongly held values usually don't last long. I suppose it's a way of weeding the most devoted and faithful from those who live in a fantasy world. The Leader card reminds me of a story about the Hindu gods Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva; they were fighting a battle against demons who wanted to upset the cosmic balance. Losing horribly, the three decided to ask the goddess Durga for help. She responded and defeated the demons soundly. What's the lesson in these two cards? Sometimes those who are the most dedicated, skilled and mighty don't look like the faces we're used to seeing - and that's a good thing to acknowledge.

A Big Difference

From the Mystical Moments Tarot, the King of Cups; from the Inner Eye Oracle, News:

The brain does not treat traumatic memories as regular memories, or perhaps even as memories at all. —Dr. Daniela Schiller

The King of Cups urges us not to let churning emotions sink our ship of insight and judgment. But paired with the News card, it brings up recent research that explains why this is particularly hard for those who've experienced trauma. The study found the memories of “sad” and “calm” events triggered the brain’s hippocampus, which is known to play a role in long-term memory. However, researchers found that when recalling traumatic events, multiple disruptions were triggered in the brain, including hyperactivity within both the amygdala (that processes emotions) and posterior cingulate cortex (internally directed cognition). Instead of recalling an experience, they relived it. Drama queens and trauma survivors have clear neurological differences; as such, their therapy should not be assumed to be look the same.

With a Little Help

From the Mystical Moments Tarot, the Ace of Wands; from the Inner Eye Oracle, Support:

If you are working on something exciting that you really care about, you don't have to be pushed. The vision pulls you. —Steve Jobs

Reading a gardening book, this young woman is so excited that she can actually envision the flowers she wants to plant and grow. As Jobs said, when we are truly inspired about creating something, we will be eager to get our hands dirty. Yet Support pops up to remind us that it is okay to ask those who have more experience than us for help. Such assistance does not take away from our accomplishments; instead, it might be the ingredient that helps us successfully produce our vision. In the words of Kendra Scott, "We want to show everyone that we can do it all, that we have it under control. But the reality is that asking for help is not a sign of weakness - it is the greatest sign of strength."

Attention and Responsibility

This week I'll be using the Tarot of Mystical Moments, created by Catrin Welz-Stein and published by U.S. Games. Paired with it will be the Inner Eye Oracle, created by Steven Bright and published by Red Feather. Today's draws are the Queen of Cups and the Authority Figure:

You cannot listen to what you hear if you resist it. To listen there must be attention, and where there is resistance there is no attention.

—Krishnamurti

The calm flow of the ocean's seabed reflects this Queen's emotional stability. She listens intently to the seahorse she holds, undistracted by the other fish swimming by. Buddhist teacher Haemin Sunim said: "If you think you already know everything there is to know about that person, what do you do? We tend to make a judgment about that person. We stop being curious. Rather than try to understand, we think we already know. So, we don't give them time and space for them to talk. Instead, we already assume that we already know. That's not love." Yet the Authority Figure tells us we need to do more than deeply listen. Even though we might offer feedback or suggestions, it must be clear that we cannot make decisions for them. We each are responsible for the choices we make, including the outcomes of those judgments. 

Impulse Control

From the Prisma Visions Tarot, the King of Chalices; from then Secret Language of Color Cards, Auburn:

Our emotional mind will harness the rational mind to its purposes...

—Daniel Goleman

When we wake up with a crick in our neck, we don't generally run to the emergency room. We use the information to correct our sleeping position, take a pain reliever or get a better pillow. Yet strong emotions often override our intellect, causing hasty and irrational reactions that don't solve a thing. The King of Chalices invites us to harness our emotions, using their alerts to inform without dominating us. As Goleman wrote, "There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse." Auburn encourages us to ground ourselves - focusing our attention on one of the five senses rather than our thoughts - when emotions untether us. Doing so can give the emotional energy time to dissipate, allowing us to see with clarity and choose a response with discernment.

Little Steps Forward

From the Prisma Visions Tarot, Death; from the Secret Language of Color Cards, Burgandy:

Impermanence means that the appearance of stability we take for granted in everyday life, for practical purposes, is ultimately an illusion, the construction of a mind infused with desire and fear.

—C. W. Huntington

The beautiful blooms of the camellias are on display now; each flower generally lasts about a week before it falls to the ground. On a regular basis, we are asked to let go of something we feel is integral to our life. Acceptance can take a while, and that's okay. We just need to be careful not to make any irrational or impulsive decisions during this period. The deep red of Burgandy asks us to find our passion. This may seem impossible if grief (or anger) has us in its grip. Yet we don't have to go back to what did before - we can take tiny steps toward other joys. How? We can commit to self-discovery (journaling or a therapist); we can express ourselves through art; we can maintain our connections to others; and we can offer ourselves kindness and compassion.

Slipping from Our Grasp

From the Prisma Visions Tarot, the Five of Chalices; from the Secret Language of Color Cards, Empathy:

It is a natural instinct to grasp what is falling, reach for what is slipping or chase what is running away.  ―Sarah Voldeng

Relationships that we have history with, that we've invested time and love in, are hard to let slip from our grasp. We grieve, yet it is prudent to also care for our own heart with kindness. It may help to remember Voldeng's words: "It is impossible to exercise control where we have no reign." Turquoise blends calming blue with rejuvenating green and relates to empathy. This perspective includes both the affective (feeling what others feel) and cognitive (understanding their thoughts). When we are willing to acknowledge the views and feelings of those who left us, it can help us accept their loss. And in doing so, we might approach our current relationships with more awareness and appreciation. 

Centered Calmness

From the Prisma Visions Tarot, the High Priestess; from the Secret Language of Color Cards, Magenta:

The witness is your awareness of your own thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Witnessing is like waking up in the morning and then looking in the mirror and noticing yourself — not judging or criticizing, just neutrally observing. —Ram Dass

There are two kinds of awareness that observe our experiences: the ego, that always looks out for number one, and the inner witness that watches without attachment or aversion. Our tainted awareness (the eyes of the ego) can't help but get entangled in longing or intolerance, and as a result, can't see the forest for the trees. Pure awareness simply witnesses each moment as it is without blindspots or sticky traps. Magenta is not in the visible spectrum, but an "afterimage" created when red and blue light stimulate different cone cells in the eye. In the same way, the inner witness requires certain conditions to arise for us to connect with it. We sit in quietness and stillness, allowing thoughts to pass by rather than grasping or pushing them away. Eventually we begin to experience a centered calmness that grants us clarity.

It's Essential

From the Prisma Tarot, the Eight of Chalices; from the Secret Language of Color Cards, Mauve:

An obligation is a debt without choice. It’s a have-to. When we do things for a long time without choice, we feel resentment, which leads to emptiness.

—Roger Daviston

The cosmos calls to a man whose world has become meaningless because he is chained by obligations. Jobs, people and groups often make demands of us, and we unwittingly begin to mold our life to their wishes. Gradually life becomes a trudge that leaves us feeling hollow. Our resentments grow, only making matters worse, but our guilt keeps us stuck. Mauve is a dusty, pinkish-purple color known for its muted, soft quality. It asks us to mute those demands outside of ourselves and listen to our own needs. Self-care isn't selfish, it's essential. As the saying goes, "An empty lantern provides no light."

Clarify before Declaring

From the Prisma Visions Tarot, the Three of Swords; from the Secret Language of Color Cards, Indigo:

If you don't know, it's not always necessary to admit it.

―Malcolm Forbes

There’s no shame in admitting what you don’t know. The only shame is pretending you know all the answers.

―Neil deGrasse Tyson

Knee-jerk assumptions can spread unverified beliefs as facts, prejudicing information that may hurt others. We got a call this weekend that the youngest of our grown sons had been taken to the hospital by ambulance after he collapsed and was unresponsive at his gym. The EMTs used Narcon, which revived him, so they called it in as an overdose. The ER doctors intubated him and put him in the Critical Care Unit. Only after a lot of tests and gathering information from the family over the course of several days did they realize this was not that. He had been taking a low dose opioid for a knee injury, which is why he responded to the Narcon. But he had been found in the gym's sauna and had a tumor on his adrenal gland; the intense heat and out of whack gland were the cause of his collapse. The "overdose" label had been a weighty one for the family to bear. Indigo, a deep purple-violet color, suggests we improve our vision. Before making any declarations, we need to ask clarifying questions and check the factual evidence. Ignore Forbes and listen to Tyson. 

No Bended Knee

This week I'll be using the Prisma Visions Tarot, created and self-published by James R. Eads; the companion booklet was written by Katherine Tombs. The oracle I'll be using alongside it is the Secret Language of Color Cards, created by Inna Segal and published by Beyond Worlds. Today's draws are the Six of Pentacles and Tangerine:

Make your interactions with people transformational, not just transactional.

― Patti Smith

The gentleness of this exchange rather than any pompous display reminded me of a story in Jack Kornfield's book, "All in This Together." A radio host of a blues show got a letter from an incarcerated man who was a fan who asked if the host might play some of the early blues musicians. The DJ followed through but made sure to name the fellow who asked for this lineup, saying that he was obviously an enthusiast and had a fine understanding of the blues. He later received another letter from the man that read, "That was the first time in my life I can remember my name being said with respect." Whatever the resources we share, whether giving or receiving, dignity and respect are important. Tangerine suggests spontaneity, in this case, offers made when a need is noticed. No bended knees are required.

Changing Myself

From the Spacious Tarot, Judgment; from the Phenomena Oracle, Geyser:

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. 

Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.

― Rumi

Judgment is a spiritual rebirth; we have been given clarity, realizing our assumptions were false. The world suddenly looks and feels like a different place because our own attitude and beliefs have changed. As Henri Nouwen explained, "Living a spiritual life requires a change of heart, a conversion. Such a conversion may be marked by a sudden inner change, or it can take place through a long, quiet process of transformation. But it always involves an inner experience of oneness." Geyser indicates the sudden understanding that this is a way of life to be lived rather than simply studied. We put away our roles of critic and adversary and become the advocate and the friend.

Open with Fire

From the Spacious Tarot, the Two of Wands: from the Phenomena Oracle, Drought:

When you advertise fire-extinguishers, open with the fire. 

—David Ogilvy

Advertising makes great use of labels. Which pair sounds more exciting: dependable and experienced or contemporary and cutting-edge? But the labels are just stuck on to get our attention; they're not really the thing itself. People are easily swayed by descriptions of the grass being greener on the other side. But before we make a choice based on a few words, we might want to investigate to see just how much lusher that grass actually is. Drought, on the other hand, represents those times when ideas and avenues of action have dried up. At this point, what do we have to lose?

Litmus Test

From the Spacious Tarot, the Two of Cups; from the Phenomena Oracle, Wind:

Our findings show that pain is a particularly powerful ingredient in producing bonding and cooperation.  —Brock Bastian

Two cups sit on the leaf pads of a lotus, a plant that starts life in muck and mud then moves through murky water until it reaches the light. Adversity is a litmus test of relationships, either driving people apart or connecting them more closely together. During vulnerable times, it may encourage mutual cooperation, solidarity and exchange. As Harriet Jacobs wrote, "There are no bonds so strong as those which are formed by suffering together." And when the Winds of change blow, the resilience we've learned will provide a compass to navigate them. 

Clear-Eyed

From the Spacious Tarot, the Ace of Swords; from the Phenomena Oracle, Haboob:

A man with clarity reaches his goal sooner than the man with confidence.

―Amit Kalantri

The white lines around this sword seem to be as precise as the technical drawings of a draftsman. Rather than a jumble of ideas and thoughts, this card represents very clear, logical ones. It symbolizes lucidity -the state of being free from confusion or ambiguity. The companion book also encourages us to "Seek what is true, even when the truth is sharp."  Haboob is an intense dust storm; it fills eyes, ears, noses and mouths of all left unprotected. The grit of daily life, with its dramas and unexpected challenges, can easily obscure our ability to think logically and clearly. Pema Chodron says the key is within us: "We need discernment about ourselves. What triggers or hooks us? How do we reach the point where our discomfort spills out into actions we regret? What calms our agitated mind, instead of pouring kerosene on the fire?"