Letting Go of Holding Back

From the Swietlistej Drogi, the Two of Cups; from the Mirrors of the Heart deck, Freedom:

The Two of Cups always makes me think of intimacy, a bond formed when people connect on many different levels. Intimacy can include a hug, a shared experience, an intellectual conversation, the willingness to self-disclose and listen, or mutual values and principles. Yet for such a connection to be cultivated, Ayya Khema points out what must occur: "When other people are taken into the heart, the self has to step aside to make room." Her quote and the Freedom card suggest renunciation - not the giving up your Doritoes and Netflix kind, but letting go of what holds us back in life. In the words of Pema Chodron: "Renunciation is seeing clearly how we hold back, how we pull away, how we shut down, how we close off, and then learning how to open. It’s about saying yes to whatever is put on your plate, whatever knocks on your door, whatever calls you up on your telephone. How we actually do that has to do with coming up against our edge, which is actually the moment when we learn what renunciation means."

New Day, New Choices

From the Everyday Enchantment Tarot, the Ace of Wands; from the MentorSpirit Cards, 'Freedom:'

Write it on your heart

that every day is the best day in the year.

He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day

who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety. 

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

          It's a new day, and Palin has presented us with a blank canvas to paint on it what we will. I'm a little giddy this morning to find our internet is up (though probably briefly). Having no mobile data and no internet connection has felt rather constricting, so today feels like the MentorSpirit card, Freedom. I'm surfing around to see what everyone has been up to and reconnecting with friends and family. Yet I'm also pondering Viktor Frankl's thoughts: "The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance." There will always be things I'm powerless over; the challenge will be in working with my mind to accept and adapt rather than continuing to push back against that which is immovable. Such situations can be learning experiences too. As one AA writer put it, "Adversity truly introduces us to ourselves."

Giddy-up

From the Golden Tarot, the Sun; from the Yantra Deck, 'Freedom:'

          The Sun that was at a low point in the Death card has now risen to its peak. What once was dark and unclear is now filled with light and comprehension. Self-awareness - a clear perception of one's strengths and weaknesses, beliefs and motives - is not an easy journey. But along the way, the understanding gained and clarity it brings transforms the Fool into the Wise Child. In the words of Carl Jung, “Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” Upon awakening there is a sense of Freedom, just as the child on the horse represents. There is a turning of the mind, a realization: I am liberated when I recognize the person who controls me is myself. I am free to make my own choices (always about attitudes, and usually about my actions) unless I abdicate that responsibility to someone else.

The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently. ― Pema Chödrön

Lighten the Load

From the Tarot of the Radiant Path, the Knight of Pentacles; from Mirrors of the Heart, Freedom:

          The Knight of Pentacles is back, but instead observing the fields from his horse, he's on foot doing some quality control. Based on what he is gathering and the gold bars on the table, I'd say he's been successful in his endeavor. Hard work, dependability and attention to detail to pay off, even when things don't go as expected. The only thing that can trip this Knight up is being so tightly tied to the way he wants things to go, he has no flexibility or adaptability when reality takes a detour. But look at that free-spirited bird on the Freedom card. There is no heaviness from grasping or unwillingness that weigh down its wings. Only the lightness of being okay with what is.

Nothing goes right on the outside when nothing is going right on the inside.

~ Matthieu Ricard

The Lion has Landed

From the Tarot of Durer, the Eight of Wands; from the Philosopher's Stone, Freedom:

          Have you ever made plans and gotten the ball rolling on some project or event, but when the the goal day arrived, it caught you unprepared? Imagine someone who planned a bridal brunch, then forgot to set her alarm clock and woke up with one hour to clean house and prepare the food. Or consider someone who's applied for a job in another city by first sending in an impressive resume. After a few phone conferences with the prospective employer, he's asked to come for an interview; half way there, he realizes he's forgotten to look up the address of where he's going. The guy in this card obviously put things in motion, but wasn't ready when it was time to take that final step. The Freedom card reminded me of something written by Os Guinness: "Freedom requires order, and therefore restraint." It's so easy to get excited and fired up about something that we drop some pieces and tools we need to complete what we're building. Guinness went on to say that "the problem isn't wolves at the door but termites in the floor." That firm foundation is a must.  

Brain Freeze

From the Golden Tarot, the Eight of Swords; from the Yantra Deck, "Freedom:"

          Life can feel wintry and desolate when I feel overwhelmed by circumstances, just as I'm sure this lady is experiencing. When I feel beaten down with limited options, its easy to think that no one else has to deal with such pain and mental anguish. As soon as I've adopted such a mindset, the world does feel like a very cold place. My mind becomes so rigid in its beliefs, that I might as well be wearing a blindfold and have my hands tied. One of the truths I've learned about being in such a dark, desolate place is that isolation doesn't help. I need the warmth and support of other people. They don't have to magically fix anything; just having someone to listen and bounce ideas off of can help my brain thaw out. I'll eventually realize I have more alternatives than I previously thought.
          How did my mind become so restricted, my bowl of possibilities shrunk down to the size of a thimble? I'm sure some of those limitations came from what I was taught growing up - a load of "shoulds" I adopted. Perhaps the greatest contractions have come from the hard knocks of life. After I've accumulated a collection of bumps and bruises, it's easy to make assumptions and project that everything will be exactly like the past. Nothing will change; I should expect more of the same. The Freedom Yantra reminds me that even when I'm between a rock and a hard place, I don't have to let my mind work against me. There's no need to waste time screaming that life is unfair and shouldn't be this way. That's akin to stabbing myself in the heart when I already have an arrow in my chest. Instead, I can focus on how to best deal with that arrow.

No Lock on the Mind

From the Golden Tarot, Temperance; from the Yantra Deck "Freedom:"

Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind. ~ Virginia Woolf

Watched over by a saint from above, an angel mixes liquid in two cups. Black speaks of equilibrium in her booklet, the ability to avoid extremes and imbalances. I've noticed here in the States that it makes people uncomfortable if you aren't at one end of the spectrum or the other: Christian or not Christian, Republican or Democrat, etc. When there is no label, there's no easy way to categorize a person into "like" or "dislike." How small we make our world when we build it only on labels! The Freedom yantra reminds me that if I want to live in a spacious world, I need to avoid defining people and situations as one thing or another. If I have multiple layers and facets, surely others do too.

Rebalancing

  Today I drew another six card from the Tarot of Durer, the Six of Pentacles:

An eagle flies over a building, letting coins fall freely from a pouch in its talons.  It may seem like a waste of money, but the number six indicates a return to harmony from a place of imbalance.  The coins mean more than money, they also represent time and energy.  My first reaction to this card was to see the castle-like building below, and think, "Looks like they've got plenty of money, why would they need more?"  I have so many subtle prejudices hidden within my thoughts that sometimes I am unaware of them.  Perhaps the giving of myself or my resources is more to help me grow beyond my own narrow-mindedness.  That could be the inequity that needs to be righted.

     From the Philosopher's Stone deck this morning comes the card "Freedom:"

free·dom: the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint

Paired with the card above, I am reminded that it is not only my physical self that can be confined.  My past experiences, the education I've received, and the people I've associated with all have played a part in developing my mindset.  When I react to a situation (rather than purposefully act), I am chained to these lessons and beliefs that play a continuous tape in my head.  Not all of these ideas are unhelpful, but if I truly want to have freedom, I must take the time to look at them carefully, trace them back to their source, and judge with objectivity their value.